Pre-Class Discussion Questions What questions do you have on the teaching on sexual intimacy we sent to you last week? Ladies – what did you learn from the section, ‘What men wish their wives knew about sex’? Men - what did you learn from the section, ‘What women wish their husbands knew about sex’?

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Understanding Your Spouse

No two people are exactly the same, everyone is different.

Some Types of Differences: Physical Emotional Experiences (education, families,etc.) Strengths/gifts Personality Ways to express/receive love Preferences regarding how to spend free time Preferences regarding cleanliness

Some Types of Differences: Physical Emotional Experiences (education, families,etc.) Strengths/gifts Personality Ways to express/receive love Preferences regarding how to spend free time Preferences regarding cleanliness

The same differences that can be such a strong source of attraction in the beginning of a relationship can lead to friction and frustration over time if they are not understood and embraced

Our differences: Are from God - Psalm 139.13-16

Psalm 139:13-16 (ESV) For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 139:13-16 (ESV) For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Our differences: Create a combined entity that is stronger than any one person - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (ESV) Two are better than one, because they have good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him – a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

US Me You

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (ESV) Two are better than one, because they have good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him – a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Our differences: Are to be understood so that we can best serve our spouse - 1 Peter 3:7, Philippians 2:3-4

1 Peter 3:7 (ESV) Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:7 (ESV) Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

In order to best ‘Understand your Spouse’, you need to become a student of your spouse.

What does it mean to be a student of your spouse?

Modern family Clip 1

Modern family Clip 2

What does it mean to be a student of your spouse?

What if you don’t live with your spouse in an understanding way?

Practically, how do you live with your spouse in an understanding way?

Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV) Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3-11 (ESV) Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Discover your differences

Ephesians 5:33 (ESV) However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Love & Respect Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

HUSBAND: …LOVE YOUR WIFE Ephesians 5:33

Wife: …RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND Ephesians 5:33

DISCOVER your differences

Embrace your differences

Celebrate your differences

Discussion Questions • In what ways are you and your significant other most similar? Most different? • How are your differences a source of fun and joy? How are your differences a frustration? • What are some intentional practices you utilize to “study” each other? • How can you discover, embrace, and celebrate your differences? • Over the past seven weeks, where and how have you gained a better understanding about your significant other?

final announcements Homework Next Steps... Handout Emily Baxter - merge@watermark.org Tell others about Merge Evaluations Way to go!

summary All marriages start off with strong intentions, however; often times our selfishness gets in the way.

summary In order to combat our selfish desires, the Bible encourages us to become students of our significant other.

summary There is a lot at stake here: Peace and marital satisfaction. Marriage’s role in God’s kingdom as a tangible expression of his love for the world.

Gabe & Whitney Video