Benchmark essay scoring and revisions Prompt: Write an essay explaining why new technology is so important to teenagers.

Thesis: Highlight your thesis Thesis: Highlight your thesis. It should look something like this: New technology is so important to teenagers because… Evaluate your thesis. Did you answer the question, “Why is new technology so important to teenagers?”

Concrete details: Look for your concrete details Concrete details: Look for your concrete details. Did you give specific instances or examples that support your thesis? How many CDs did you have? Do you have 1-2 or did you list off a bunch of different examples? Are your CDs about teens and technology?

On/off topic: Look for off topic comments and the other side of the argument. I’m going to ask you to physically “step out” your essay. Example: Many of you started talking about how teens shouldn’t be on their phones so much. This is totally off topic. Some of you mentioned the pros and cons of technology. Again, this is off topic.

IDEAL EXAMPLE OFF TOPIC MOSTLY ON TOPIC Stepping out the essay Read your thesis statement first. Then, go back through each and EVERY line of your essay to determine whether or not you stayed on topic. Draw the process on the side of your essay. THESIS

Repeated Words: Look for repetitive wording and ideas Repeated Words: Look for repetitive wording and ideas. What are other ways to say those repeated words?

Sentence variety: highlight all commas and semicolons. Identify the rules off to the side to check for sentence variety. You should have a variety of sentences rather than simple sentences over and over.

Writer’s reflection: Where did you go wrong Writer’s reflection: Where did you go wrong? What were your areas of strength? How could you have gone from a 1 to a 2, a 2 to a 3? Fill out your writer’s reflection sheet for your writing portfolio.

1. Highlight thesis 2. Number sentences 3 1. Highlight thesis 2. Number sentences 3. Step out the essay on the side of the page 4. Look for repeated words (teens, technology) 5. Highlight commas and identify rules to look for variety 6. Complete your writer’s reflection sheet and staple it to your benchmark.