Who Are You Going to Marry? “What therefore God has joined together…” Matthew 19:6

A Most Important Decision Marriage is the second most important decision you will ever make in life next to becoming a Christian. Critical decisions demand critical preparation. Your decision will effect where you spend eternity.

A Most Important Decision Often more time goes in to preparing for a 35 minute wedding ceremony, than goes into preparing for a life-long relationship! Marriage is often not considered an important decision because it can be broken so easily by divorce.

A Most Important Decision Start by seeking help from the Lord (Prov.18:22; 19:14). Careful mate selection lays a solid foundation for a lasting marriage. Let us consider three biblical principles for finding a mate.

1. Scripturally Eligible? One who has never married before (Gen. 2:24) One who has divorced their mate for fornication (Mt.5:32; 19:9) One who’s spouse has died (Rom.7:2-3; 1 Cor.7:39) All other marriages are adulterous marriages (Heb.13:4)

2. A Faithful Christian? A Christian married to a non-Christians is allowed by God (1 Cor.7:12-14). But it is a less than ideal relationship that has built in problems (1 Cor.7:15; 1 Pet.3:1).

2. A Faithful Christian? What about 2 Cor.6:14ff? First, Paul is giving a general admonition to the entire church in all their social relationships, not to couples thinking about marriage. Second, Paul speaks of an “unequal” yoke, not the absence of a yoke all together.

2. A Faithful Christian? What about marrying “only in the Lord” (1 Cor.7:39). The context points out that Paul had in mind for a Christian widow to marry a Christian (cf. if they marry at all, vv.8-9,39-40) because of “the present distress” (v.26).

2. A Faithful Christian? Marrying a Christian is the wise thing (1 Cor.9:5; 14:34-35; 1 Pet.3:7) Not just a “Christian,” but a faithful Christian. Marrying someone who was baptized does not guarantee anything. Does this Christian show evidence of the “fruit of the Spirit” (Gal.5:22-23)?

2. A Faithful Christian? Keep you from attending worship services, giving properly, prayer, Bible study, the Lord’s work, obeying God’s word on marriage, being moral, godly friends, from raising your children properly, etc.

2. A Faithful Christian? You may or may not convert a non-Christian. If you plan to change him / her the statistics are not in your favor. There will always be emotional turmoil knowing that he / she is will be lost in hell.

2. A Faithful Christian? After marriage you will have two basic tasks: help your spouse go to heaven, and help your children go to heaven. Question: Is he / she worth going to hell for? Yes, you can choose a non-Christian and help them be converted to the Lord!

3. Mature Enough? Does this person have a mature understanding of biblical marriage (Gen. 2:18-24)? Does this person maturely accept the biblical responsibilities of marriage? (refer to handout)

Who Are You Going to Marry? If you have not made a choice yet take your time, choose wisely! Be patient and pray! First, set your standards before you get emotionally involved with someone, and don’t change your standards. Second, go where other like-minded people are and meet them.

Who Are You Going to Marry? If you have already made a choice and you now realize that it’s no good, work it out, or break up! You can get over a break up in this life. But you will not be able to change God’s eternal judgment against your bad marriage in the life to come.

Who Are You Going to Marry? It is better to marry later in life, or not marry at all, than to loose your soul and the souls of your children because of a bad marriage.

Who Are You Going to Marry? Parents / grandparents, start teaching your children / grandchildren early in life what to look for in a mate. Marriage is a wonderful, God-given relationship, don’t ruin it by not knowing who to marry.