Keeping Children Safe and Protective Behaviours Lisa Challinor Head of House – Benet

What does taking care look like…?

Keeping children safe We can’t bubble wrap our children… or more importantly, we shouldn’t. How do they learn what to do without us beside them? What is required for them is a culture in which they know when they feel unsafe and have been taught the principles of what to do about that feeling.

How do you feel…?

How do you feel…?

We all have an internal continuum line from safe to unsafe behaviours Where would your child place these experiences? Safe Fun to Feel Scared Risking on Purpose Unsafe Asking a question in class Taking a music exam Riding a rollercoaster Abseiling off the PC tower for charity Hitchhiking Trying a vape pen/cigarette Auditioning for the Talent Show

What are Protective Behaviours? Protective Behaviours began in the 1970s and is now common currency in Warwickshire Primary schools It is a whole-school concept and culture, NOT a REAL time session or a tutor time activity It is about empowerment – emotional literacy is the foundation of safety: Feelings Choices What are Protective Behaviours?

Protective Behaviours Key themes We all have the right to feel safe all the time. Theme 2: We can talk with someone about anything , even if it feels awful or small.

Protective Behaviours The F Word is central In Protective Behaviours, this is feelings You have feelings, you are not feelings I am angry. I feel angry. No one can make you feel anything You can’t stop feeling something because someone tells you to – “don’t worry” “calm down” https://www.channel4.com/news/robert-webb-on-his-memoir-how-not-to-be-a-boy

Of course, feeling unsafe doesn’t always mean that we are in danger But we may want to know… Choice Control Time limit Do I have an option to not do what is making me feel this way? Is this a managed situation? How long will this experience/ these feelings last? Our feelings can be complicated to understand. Our body warning us that we feel unsafe has crossover with how we feel when we are excited or adrenaline is running through our bodies…

Early Warning Signs How does my body communicate to me that I am feeling unsafe?

7 Protective Behaviours Strategies What can be done if you feel unsafe? Protective Interruption Language of Safety One Step Removed Risking on Purpose Persistence Network Review Theme Reinforcement

Protective Interruption Anything that we do to keep ourselves or others safe from potential or actual harm Saying “yes” or “no” “my Mum is calling, I need to take the call” grabbing a child about to run into the road talking to someone on your network to help you to feel safer

The language of Safety The Language of Safety is the glue that holds the Protective Behaviours process together. Language is a powerful vehicle of meaning even when we don’t want it to be: “Don’t be silly” “Man up” “It’ll be fine” “Your mother will kill me when she sees this!” Avoid using judgement language or right/wrong, good/bad, instead focus on safe and unsafe. What did you gain by shouting it…?

A Personal Network

What is required for safeguarding your child? A culture that notices, listens, believes and responds Parents/ guardians/ adults around them that communicate, are receptive to when a child needs to talk… and can listen Self-awareness to know when something isn’t right and what they can do about that unsafe feeling