Conflict Resolution – 12 Skills Materials based on Conflict Resolution Network www.crnhg.org, used with permission 6 – Active Listening 1-hour session covers Active Listening topics of ‘empathy’ chapter, session 3 - G,H,I.J Conflict Resolution – 12 Skills

Listening to gain information Studies have shown that immediately after people have listened to someone talk, they remember only 50% (as in ½ ) of what they have heard. 3.9

group exercise Back-2-Back drawing Let’s compare pictures… …why don’t they look more/less alike? Activity 3.15 Form pairs (2) and stand back to back Hand out prepared clip boards or something and have reproduce a pic based on verbal commands Compare pics and discuss the impact of exercise

Asking questions How Why* What Where When ? Section H, 3.9 and 3.10

Let’s try that Closed question… …have you got something to say about this situation? …do you like the design of the new poster? …was the conference interesting? …have you had a good day? Open Question… …what can you tell me about this situation? …what is your opinion about the new poster? …tell me some details about the conference you went to! …how did your day go today? 3.10 3.11

Listening to give affirmation Acknowledge another Making another feel valued Showing empathy Section I 3.11

Skills to show empathy when listening Non verbal Environment, body posture, eye contact, gestures Following skills ‘Mm’ and ‘aha’, occasional questions, attentive silence Reflecting skills Paraphrase, summarize, use a tone of voice that is warm and interested 3.12 Handout h3.6 ‘identifying feelings and responding’ and h3.7 ‘active listening helpful hints’ and 3.8 ‘active listening for different purposes’

Listening when under verbal attack How can we respond when someone is verbally attacking us? Is this going to be effective in dealing with the other person’s anger and resolve the conflict? 3.14

…and to respond to inflammation! Active Listening …to gain information …to give affirmation …and to respond to inflammation! 3.15

High emotions? Actively listen to deal with emotions FIRST 3.15

Listening to resolve conflict? Active listening is effective when we are receiving non-verbal cues for anger (eye rolling, turning away…) Asking questions ‘are you frustrated with the situation?’ or ‘what is annoying you’ can help us understand the issue 3.15

Listening to resolve conflict? This is not about the ‘attack’ being justified, this is about reducing the emotional heat and arriving at a point that allows discussion It allows us to turn conflict into communication What do you need, not need? What do I need, not need? 3.16

Listening to resolve conflict? Hard on the problem Soft on the person Partners, not opponents 3.16 Handout ‘listen’

Conflict resolution – 12 skills What’s happening in the next session? Conflict resolution – 12 skills

12 skills – 12 classes Win/win approach Creative response Empathy DISC exercise Listening skills Assertiveness Co-operative power Managing emotions Willingness to resolve Mapping the conflict Designing options

Ah conflict! What an opportunity!