Conflict Resolution – 12 Skills Materials based on Conflict Resolution Network www.crnhg.org, used with permission 4 – Empathy 1-hour session covers 3 A B D F Separate session follow with the DISC exercise (presentation no 5) and active listening (presentation no 6) Conflict Resolution – 12 Skills

What does the word empathy mean? “…empathy is walking with another person into the deeper chambers of his self – while maintaining some separateness. It involves experiencing the feelings of another person without losing one’s identity…” Robert Bolton, People Skills, 1987 3.3 and 3.4

What does the word empathy mean? How is it different from sympathy? 3.3

definition Empathy Sympathy Definition: Understanding what others are feeling because you have experienced it yourself or can put yourself in their shoes. Acknowledging another person's emotional hardships and providing comfort and assurance. (addition from the author of ppt) http://www.diffen.com/difference/Empathy_vs_Sympathy - accessed 7/22/2013

Feeling empathy What helps you feel empathy? What are some of the ‘ingredients’ to feel empathy? What makes it difficult to feel empathy? What are the ‘ingredients’ to not feeling empathy? (in small teams, then share with group) 3.3

Empathy skills What do you think are key elements to empathy as a skill? 3.4

Empathy blockers …also called communication killers What are some examples of ‘pseudo-empathic’ responses that really irritate YOU? Let’s see if it is on the list (handout) What responses to these statements trigger? Section D 3.4 Handout H 3.4 ‘empathy blocker’

Role play – 3 volunteers Assign person ‘A’, ‘B’ and ‘C’ in each group A and B are involved in an important conversation (project, weekend plans…) C tries to join the conversation A and B want to exclude C, want C to leave Volunteers describe what happened Person C – what was particularly bad/excluding to you? Was the focus on the ‘extra’ person, or the topic? Comments from audience Activity 3.9 ‘ blocking communiation’

Getting better at empathy Listening – active listening – good listening is a key ingredient to showing empathy Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 Do you think different people would rate you differently? Why would that be? Section F 3.7 and 3.8

Anybody there? How do we know that someone is listening to us? Which of these do you do well? Which of these not so much? 3.8

Static Group exercise Group observations/conclusions Activity 3.14

Conflict resolution – 12 skills What’s happening in the next session? Conflict resolution – 12 skills

12 skills – 12 classes Win/win approach Creative response Empathy DISC exercise Listening skills Assertiveness Co-operative power Managing emotions Willingness to resolve Mapping the conflict Designing options

Ah conflict! What an opportunity!