Assertive Parenting Session 2

Outline Review S.T.A.R. approach Case example How we learn behaviour The function of behaviour Focus on S.T.A.R triggers and response Managing stress Mindfulness States of mind Feedback

Describing challenging behaviour exercise Clearly define the behaviour you wish to address. If there are more than one, identify which one is most troubling. Using the Behaviour Checklist, take 5 minutes to answer the questions about this behaviour. What may be the triggers. Think about the vulnerability factors. What was the communication/function of these behaviours? Were there any patterns? What responses are given for the behaviour. Did you share this information/discuss? Any surprises? How was this task?

What are your thoughts about this example… Sarah is a 10 year old girl with a learning disability. On arrival home from school she always has some juice and 2 biscuits. She always asks for more and will begin to shout and sometimes hit her head when they are put away. Sometimes her mother ignores Sarah, sometimes she shouts back and sometimes she gives in and allows Sarah to have more biscuits.

How we learn behaviour We are all shaped by our environment. How we behave is influenced by the way our environment responds to us. In other words how we behave depends on what we “get out” of what we are doing. Talk about early infancy (peek-a-boo and parent reaction/engagement) to teens (being cheeky/annoying to siblings to get a rise) to adulthood (not talking to others with headphones in because no response/acknowledgement given).

Reinforcement Positive Reinforcer Something specific is added as a consequence of a behaviour that will increase the chance of the behaviour happening again Receiving praise when you have done something well. Negative Reinforcer Something is taken away as a consequence of a behaviour which will increase the chance that it happens again Removing a child from class when they have hit a peer. Note: Research indicates reinforcement is more effective than punishment in changing or maintaining behaviours over the long term. Punishment can be effective in the short term, but often requires increased punishers over time (e.g. a small tap on the bottom may stop a behaviour of a 2 year old, however would do nothing to a 15 year old) Note: Positive punisher example – smack or verbal reprimand Negative punisher – grounding a child Positive = Something added Reinforcer = Increases a behaviour Negative = Something taken away

Functions of behaviour Research has shown that a majority of behaviour happens for the following reasons: To gain an object or item. To gain/maintain social interaction. Sensory stimulation. To avoid or escape an aversive situation. Motivational Assessment Scale? A behaviour can serve different functions at different times.

S.T.A.R. sheets - triggers and response Considering the problem behaviour checklist, hold in mind… When doesn’t it happen? Who doesn’t it happen with? When does it happen less? When does it go on for less time? Are there any patterns you can identify? How did you respond? Children with LDND are very sensitive to tone of voice/facial expression.

S.T.A.R. sheets- triggers and response Using the information you have gathered about the triggers to your child’s behaviour and the response to your child’s behaviour… What are the possible functions to your child’s behaviour? Is your child’s behaviour positively reinforced? Is your child’s behaviour negatively reinforced?

MANAGING STRESS Being a parent is hard work, but parenting a child with challenging behaviours makes the job even harder. It is important to be able to look after yourself and manage your own stress. As a parent, when we are overwhelmed, tired, stressed, etc., we may respond to our children and their behaviour in ways that are not helpful. Get ideas Learning to identify your own thoughts and feelings, and manage these differently, can help you to cope and respond differently

What do you do to relieve stress? MANAGING STRESS Group Exercise: Let us know what you think the most stressful thing about being a parent is. What do you do to relieve stress?

Who notices your stress levels?

Sounds simple, but it’s not easy! MINDFULNESS Mindfulness is being aware of yourself in the present moment, without judgement. As parents you may find yourself having thoughts like: “I am a failure” “I’m a useless parent” “I dislike my child” These thoughts can often cause us to feel bad. Its ok to have thoughts that are difficult, mindfulness helps us to look at them in a different way. Sounds simple, but it’s not easy!

BENEFITS OF MINDFULNESS Being mindful can… Help make important decisions Help focus your attention making you more productive Help increases your compassion for yourself and others and stick to the facts Lessen your pain and tension Increase tolerance and reduce stress

BEING MINDFUL

The end Questions? Comments? Discussion? Homework: To find something for themselves