Steps to Problem Solving 1. “Barb” occurs 2. What are your physiological responses? 3. Stop! 4. Take a deep breath. 5. Relax in a way that works best for you. 6. Try to notice how you are feeling. 7. Try to notice what you are thinking. 8. Decide if you were thinking of a trouble statement (he always..., she never..., everyone _____s..., etc.), a coping statement, or a fact. 9. If you were thinking of a coping statement, congratulate yourself. 10. Try to change a trouble statement to a coping statement. 11. Ask yourself what I can do to make situation better.