Dating and a Christian relationship? A discussion about dating

Defining relationship - Brainstorming How would you define a relationship? What elements/ ideals/ should a relationship contain? Does a relationship at 18 contain different elements/ ideals to a relationship at 38? Can a 15 year old have a full complete relationship?

Dating vs. Friendship Dating tends to skip the friendship stage of a relationship. The premise of dating: “I am attracted to you, therefore, let’s get to know each other.” The premise of friendship: “We are interested in the same things, let’s enjoy these common interests together.” Intimacy without friendship is superficial. A relationship based on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last only as long as the feelings last. Question Why are common interests, values and ideas more important that physical attraction?

Negative effects of Teen dating Dating leads to intimacy but not necessarily to commitment. Intimacy without commitment, like icing without a cake, can be sweet, but it ends up making us sick. Question Why is commitment more important than intimacy? How can intimacy without commitment make us sick? What does this mean??

Difference between sex and love? Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love. Questions What is the difference between sex and love? What sort of values would you expect to see in a couple who love each other? Do you need to be in a physical relationship to show you are in love?

Dating and isolation Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships Questions Is this true? How does dating enhance a relationship? Can dating distract you from studies, sport etc?

Dating distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future. During dating relationships, the couple has no time to acquire new skills and focus on their studies.

Singleness Dating can cause discontentment with God’s gift of singleness Questions What is good about being single at the moment? What is bad about being single at the moment? Are you ready to commit to a life-long relationship now? Why or why not?

Is dating real? Being fun on a date does not say anything about a person’s character or ability to be a good husband or wife. Questions Is this true?

Every relationship is an opportunity to model Christ’s love Every relationship is an opportunity to model Christ’s love. Real love is not selfish, looks for the good of others. My unmarried years are a gift from God This is the best time for teenagers to explore, study and tackle the world. This period in the teen age life is valuable and important one for development of the personality, spirituality, and views in life.

Intimacy is reward of commitment I do not need to pursue a romantic relationship before I am ready for marriage. Are you ready financially to support a family? I cannot “own” someone outside of marriage The new attitude views claims on another person’s time, affection, and future before marriage as unwarranted.

Gratifying our sexual desires outside of marriage offends and detracts from the other person. We should not take advantage of another person in order to satisfy our sexual desires.