Engaging Parents and Children Making a difference today and in the future Heather Chapman-Henry, LCSW, RPT

Background Over the past 20+ year- My experience in schools, day care centers, hospitals, youth shelters, work with DCFS workers, in clinics and now in private practice. What you do: manage services for kids, work with kids on multiple issues, keeping them in the home- this is a super hard job

Building a relationship This work matters now and makes a difference for the future for kids and adults. Get to know them and let them know that their goal is your goal. Tell them what you are there to do Ask what they want from their kids- have them get specific Acknowledge how hard it is to be a parent!

Tips for Engagement Be upbeat and enthusiastic Be authentic Make it a game, but lay out the “rules” of no one getting hurt Ask open ended things like, “Tell me about this person.” Don’t take things personally

Engagement Continued Keeps things simple Give kids and parents the words to use to express themselves and their needs. If kids don’t want to answer right away, they aren’t ready. Take it away from them or try another way in. Make it a game- “let’s see if we can…”

Engagement “Kit” A soft ball Blank paper and markers (get some cool ones) A squishy or other sensory toy Playdoh Bubbles balloons

Specific Activities to Try Feeling Faces and ball toss Draw family doing something. This could even be an animal family if this is too much too soon. Blowing Bubbles together with parent Balloon toss with feeling faces on balloon Favorite animal with the Playdoh

Parent-Child Connection Activities Bubble Blow Hitting balloons back and forth- balloon tennis Story telling Tapping or clapping rhythm and asking parent and child to copy Becky Bailey – “I Love You Rituals”

Parent input Ask parents what works and doesn’t work for their child. Ask them what seems to motivate their child. Ask them to notice and track patterns. Ie. Were they hungry, tired, beginning of day, time of transition? You can ask each time: “What seemed to work this week? What did you try that didn’t work?” End each day with something their child did that they liked.

Staying Calm Feeling safe is key. - flight, fight, freeze All kids actions are trying to tell you something. Breathing sends signals to the brain to calm. Kids and parents have to LEARN and PRACTICE calming themselves. It is not instinctive.

Breathing Water fall breath Square Breathing Balloon breathing Smell the flower- Blow out the candle Ask them to practice when they are calm several times a day ie. At a stop light, on the way to some place, etc.

Where is the upset in your body? Use a marker to show me where your body feels upset. Use yourself as an example. Good feelings and bad feelings ie. Nervous tummy Your body is trying to tell you what it needs and how it feels.

Recommended Books The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson Baby Faces published by DK Publishing in 2006 The Feelings Book by Todd Parr Little Monkey Calms Down by Michael Dahl I Love You Rituals by Becky Bailey

Heather Chapman-Henry, LCSW, RPT chapmanhenry@sbcglobal Heather Chapman-Henry, LCSW, RPT chapmanhenry@sbcglobal.net (501)837-0093