Welcome When you Enter this room of Limitless opportunities Consider yourself One of the very special Members of the community who Enjoy learning Mark Reardon Let’s find out who is in our learning community this morning. Allow participants to introduce themselves.

Strategies and Tools for Having Courageous Conversations Introduce the Topic – Welcome to the Courageous Conversation Workshop. This afternoon I have created this safe space to help you prepare for the courageous conversations you have been thinking about. The intent is to give you an opportunity to prepare, practice and share your expertise with each other around having difficult conversations. Introduce myself and my experience with Fierce training and Courageous conversations. Each participant introduces her/himself and indicates expectations for the workshop this afternoon. Strategies and Tools for Having Courageous Conversations Fierce

Goals for Today Plan for a courageous conversation using the Mineral Rights Model Prepare to open our courageous conversation using the “60 second opening statement” framework Practice a courageous conversation Share expertise and form a network of learners Have some fun along the way This is the plan for today– and of course, we will take into account the expectations that you have just shared. fierce

EXAMPLES OF WHAT MIGHT BE A COURAGEOUS CONVERSATION What is a courageous conversations? Have participants describe various conversations that may be classified as a courageous conversation. Make a list and post in room. EXAMPLES OF WHAT MIGHT BE A COURAGEOUS CONVERSATION

Scott’s basic philosophy is that conversations difficult or not are the basis for forming strong relationships. Difficult conversations done well build relationships rather than fracture them. The conversation can be five minutes, twenty or may even last years. If we bring truth, trust, integrity, openness, empathy, compassion into a conversation we are increasing our chances of not only resolving difficult situations and but creating more positive professional relationships.

Ask participants to review with you the Scenario or Conversation Preparation Template. Hopefully they have already come to the workshop with a conversation in mind. Have the participants complete this template individually so that they are prepared to use this conversation to prepare for and practice conducting a difficult conversation. What are the potential barriers to having this conversation. What are the some things that should be considered before having this conversation (timing etc)

Principles of Fierce Conversations Master the courage to interrogate reality – make sure the issue is the issue – is there more? Come out from behind yourself, into the conversation, and make it real – self awareness - drop your biases and assumptions 3.Be here, prepared to be nowhere else – do everything you can to be fully present – actively listen 6.Take responsibility for your emotional wake – how do you want others to remember you after this conversation? 7.Let silence do the heavy lifting – saying nothing can allow others to express themselves fully 8. Take a learning forward stance and assume that courageous conversations are meant to build relationships – not destroy them Susan Scott’s work in her Book Fierce Conversations outlines some basic principles behind what she calls “Fierce Conversations” which we are referring to this afternoon as “Courageous Conversations”. This afternoon as we work through our scenarios/difficult conversations – these are principles that you will need to consider and practice in order to be successful during a courageous conversation. Have these posted around the room.

So let’s get started with Scott’s Mineral Rights framework for preparing for courageous conversations. Although our issue may seem pretty straight forward –– in truth, there could be a number is issues that affect one’s behavior in certain situations. The mining analogy refers to the fact that we may need to do some digging, to gain an deeper understanding. We need to strip away or examine layers one by one in order to get to what is underneath. Susan Scott refers to this as “Mining for clarity.” As much as mineral rights is about digging for information so that we can clearly understand the issue at hand. It helps us to enter conversation in a learning forward stance - listen with the intent to understand rather than with the intent to reply. Listening carefully to understand the other person's point of view, before you even think about replying, is the key to productive courageous conversation. We often need to let go of our assumptions, biases, identify our emotions and or contributions and we need to be clear on what it is we are expecting – sharing our vision of what would be a potential resolution. Have participants look at the Mineral Rights Conversation Template. Walk through it with them and emphasize that it can be used while preparing for a difficult conversation. This can be done as a personal reflection (I, me) or with a coach/mentor/trusted friend (You). Mineral Rights fierce

All difficult conversations are basically a search for the truth. So in a nutshell, the mineral rights framework is a took to help us uncover the truth so that we can move forward to a resolution and improved relationships. Have participants complete the template working together as instructed. (repeat instructions and emphasize that this is a personal reflection OR coaching tool). Time to prepare for our difficult conversation

“…the inability to listen may be the most costly of the human relations skills to be without.” Robert K. Greenleaf While using the mineral rights framework to prepare for our courageous conversation – emphasize the importance of active listening. Many of you have mastered this skill – however, at times when a discussion gets heated or tricky we forget to maintain a “learning forward” stance. This is also important when you are having your difficult conversation with another person. Effective listening and taking a learning forward stance will ultimately help to build stronger relationships even if conversations can be difficult at times.

Strategy Listening Concepts Attentiveness (paraphrasing, body language, eye contact, etc.) Misconceptions/Assumptions Self-awareness/Personal Bias Honesty & authenticity Empathy & respect Keep these concepts in mind when we prepare for and during our courageous conversation practice time.

Courageous Conversation Opening Statement Practice Courageous Conversation Opening Statement Let’s have a look at the Courageous Conversation Opening Statement template. Now that you have had a chance to prepare for your difficult conversation how will you start? This template is designed to help you translate some of the information from your mineral rights conversation framework into a succinct opening statement to get the conversation going. As the receiver responds – use some of the principles and strategies of active listening to continue the conversation.

Things to Avoid: Don’t… Start with, “So how’s it going?” For fun, let’s explore a few things that we may want to avoid when having courageous conversations Avoid starting with How are you doing? How is it going? Etc. Be prepared that if an employee says great and you have to discuss a sticky situation – you have already set yourself up for disaster!

Things to Avoid: Don’t… Make it an “Oreo Cookie” conversation. Don’t sandwich bad news between layers of good news – it is confusing for the receiver who walks away unsure of the real message.

Things to Avoid: Don’t… Lay out “Pillows.” If you have something difficult to say – try to avoid laying too many pillows down to break the fall. An employee hears all the positive and either doesn’t hear the bad news or simply is confused by what you are trying to say. Get to the point diplomatically.

Things to Avoid: Don’t… Be a “Machine Gun Nelly.” If you are giving examples of a person’s negative behavior avoid spraying a thousand bullets. Pick one or two specific examples that best illustrate your point.

Things to Avoid: Don’t… Script your entire conversation. This one is obvious!

TACTICS THAT OFTEN OCCUR DURING A COURAGEOUS CONVERSATION DENY i.e. “It wasn’t me!” or “That never happened!” DEFEND i.e. “It wasn’t my fault, it was because of _______________.” DEFLECT i.e. “It’s not about this, it’s about ________________.” Although we cannot control the conversation and what the receiver will say however, we can recognize that these three tactics may appear during the conversation. What is the best course of action? Go back to the “issue” – restate the “issue” clearly and start again.

Interaction Inquire into the other person’s views – Mineral Rights Stance Listen carefully and dig for full understanding i.e. “Please say more about that.” “What else?” Use paraphrasing and perception check Make sure your partner knows that you fully understand and acknowledge his/her position and interest Coaching skills come in handy here. Stick to the issue! fierce

Resolution: What happens next? What have we learned? Where do we go from here? Draw up an agreement. Hold each other accountable. Close the loop. It may take one or many conversations to come to a mutually agreeable resolution. fierce

The Importance of Active Listening! Participants will have to download this video in order to re-play during the power point presentation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajq8eag4Mvc