LaSHON HaTOV Using words intentionally to help students create their futures Deborah Gilboa, MD

hap·pi· ness: noun good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy INGREDIENTS: Confidence Competence Relationships hap·pi· ness: noun

“Happiness Now” Trap Unattainable Conflicts with resilience Removes opportunity for resilience “practice” Causes us to change the narrative to support everything being ok Limits the resources we offer We’re terrible at predicting it for others

5 obstacles to Raising kids of great character Happiness now Comfortable is necessary for safe Placing achievement over character Villifying Stress Solving problems for our children they can learn to solve for themselves.

Comfort is not necessary for safety Security Healing Identity Discomfort Learning Change GROWTH Comfort is not necessary for safety

Achievement Trap When achievement is the top priority, character easily suffers Justifies cheating, lying, substance use Judged externally – others say when you’ve succeeded No matter how great, can’t control if someone else is better Pressure is tremendous

Good & Bad Stress Stress is to resilience as exercise is to muscle New Stimuli or unknown patterns cause stress Change leads to stress Unpredictable supports worsen Good & Bad Stress

Stress Strain or tension Necessary for growth Physical Emotional Psychologic

Problem Solving Trap We are expert problem solvers Our kids rely on us for that THEY need the chance to become good problem solvers Problem solving doesn’t look like problem solving the first dozen (+) times you do it!

YOU are the Solution! 1. Engagement: Praise, Interest, Concern 2. Guidance: Instruction, Correction 3. Stepping back YOU are the Solution!

Dr. G can help you create change! Pick a time to talk to her about it! (click this!)