Paragraph Revision Week Twelve

Lesson Objectives Review MLA citation Paragraph Revision Revision of Introduction Brief Assignment Eight

MLA Citation In-text citation needs: (Author’s last name page number) He writes, “what [Hagopian] is doing is having detailed conversations with her students about what is and isn’t plagiarism” (Jaschik 262). Variations: Jaschik concludes, “what she is doing is having detailed conversations with her students about what is and isn’t plagiarism” (262). Why? Jaschik, Scott. “Winning Hearts and Minds in War on Plagiarism.” Inside Higher Ed 7 April 2008. Rpt. in First-Year Writing: Writing for the Disciplines. Boston: Pearson, 2013. 261-6. Print.

MLA Citation: Common Errors Comma: (Jaschik, 262) Misplaced quotation marks: …isn’t plagiarism (Jaschik 262).” Misplaced period: …isn’t plagiarism.” (Jaschik 262) p.?: (Jaschik, p. 262) Article’s name: (“Winning Hearts and Minds on the War on Plagiarism” 262)

Quiz 1. Revise the following in-text citation: Peter Shillingsburg writes, “Creating an electronic edition is not a one-person operation; it requires skills rarely found in any one person.” (Shillingsburg, 94). 2. Integrate the following passage into a sentence, using correct in-text citation: Digital technology has already transformed how Traore communicates with his family. Rosenberg, Tina. “Everyone Speaks Text Message.” 270.

Paragraph Revision Organization Transitions Repetition Topic Sentence, General Analysis, Specific Analysis Transitions Create Coherence and “Flow” Indeed, For Example, However, After all, Finally, etc. Repetition “Weaving in repeated key words and phrases—or pronouns that refer to them—not only links sentences but also alerts readers to [the words’] importance” (5.d.2).

Revision of Introduction General Specific Thesis

Student Example The article, “Everyone Speaks Text Message”, by Tina Rosenberg was first published in the New York Times. The audience for the article could really be anyone who reads the New York Times. More specifically, the audience could include cell phone manufacturers and possible investors. If people are reading it for enjoyment the audience could include anyone who is looking to go on the same journey as Ibrahima Traore or people who share the same love for trying to save languages that are dying out. The purpose of this article is to help raise awareness of how poor technology is in smaller countries and how we need to step up and help keep these dying languages alive. With people these days so concerned about what new game they’re going to download on their phone or what the hottest new app is, they don't realize what a cell phone or a computer can really do for places that need help preserving a dying language. For these reasons Rosenberg writes the article “Everyone Speaks Text Message”, to effectively argue the importance of preserving and creating new technology to help dying languages from becoming extinct through the use of statistics to show how big of a problem it really is, identification to help readers relate to the main character, and anecdote to give her main character credibility.

Student Example, Revised Everyone these days is so concerned about what new game they’re going to download on their phone, and what the hottest new app is, and how many texts they can rack up in a month, right? Well, that’s not necessarily the case. People in third world countries actually need this kind of technology to allow them to communicate with each other and even help preserve a language if it’s dying out. But unfortunately, they do not have the resources to create their own. The only hope they have is the creation of these cell phones by cell phone companies and manufactures. Tina Rosenberg write the article “Everyone Speaks Text Message”, to explain to cell phone companies and manufactures the importance of preserving and creating new cell phones and cell phone keyboards to help dying languages from becoming extinct through the use of statistics, identification, and anecdote.

Homework Saturday: Submit Brief Assignment Eight Tuesday: St. Martin’s Handbook: Chapters 34-9, 41-2