CHILD TRAINING SUMMARY PROVERBS 22:6 HEBREWS 12:5-11 DEUTERONOMY 6

The Goal Determines the Right Method God’s goal as our Father Heb. 12:5-11 independent godliness (spiritual maturity) Self-control vs. Self-indulgence Wisdom vs. Foolishness Responsibility vs. Irresponsibility If the goal is to choose to godliness, with self-control, voluntary submission to God’s authority, trusting faith in God’s wisdom…

Godly Goal Requires the Godly Method God’s goal as our Father Heb. 12:5-11 independent godliness (spiritual maturity) Self-control vs. Self-indulgence Wisdom vs. Foolishness Responsibility vs. Irresponsibility If the goal is to choose to godliness, with self-control, voluntary submission to God’s authority, trusting faith in God’s wisdom… What is the method to achieve goal?

Train The Will of the Child Strong-willed vs. self-willed Heb.5:12-14 Control especially younger children who can’t control themselves yet Convince be convinced & teach the child ConsTRAIN give opportunity to practice what he is taught; make sure he obeys Confirm reinforce right decisions & develop more opportunities for growth; use wrong decisions to teach value of principles

Godly Control Parental Control  Self-control Physical coercion, bribery, etc. may work short-term on behavior Emphasis is not on the external God gave authority to parents Eph. 6:1-4 God gave control to the parents Tyrannical parenting  angers, discourages Negligent parenting  same result

Godly Control The child must obey. Period. The child acts immediately upon calm instruction, the first time. Aim for child’s respect, not affection Authority must be taken back – not back and forth – make it permanently Do not allow the child to argue Do not misuse authority (i.e. bully them) Do not try to be a “friend” in a way that lacks authority

Godly Instruction Instruction  Insight Deut. 6:6-9 Time Consistency Within teaching With other parent With parental behavior With reality Coherent Reasons Deut. 6:20-25 God’s reasons to do what is right

Godly Constraining Discipline  Self-discipline Child to tutor Gal. 3:23-4:7 lower than a slave Disciple to master John 13:12-17 Example v.4-5 Instruction v.6-11,12-13,16 Command v.14-15 Promise v.17

Godly Constraining Let your words be few Eccl. 5:2 (rules be few) Let your words be true Matt. 5:37 (enforced) No rules - no training Pr 22:15 Too many rules – more chances for inconsistency

Godly Enforcement Rebuke only vs. restraint 1 Sam. 2:22-23; 3:13 Spanking Pr 22:15 promptly Eccl. 8:11 with instruction Prov. 29:15 with love for his soul Pr 23:13-14; 13:24 Build up deposits in emotional bank account (EMB) before making withdrawal heart exchange Prov. 23:26

Godly Enforcement Reward for exceptional behavior Punishment for rebellion against God’s rules, parents’ rules, any authority Consequences for accidents or ignorance If correction, give explanatory rebuke If consequences, explain cause & effect If punishment, give meaning to discipline

Godly Confirmation If reward, give meaning to accomplishment If praise, build esteem & deposits in EMB Outcome reinforces words Consistency & confirmation build trust Consistency & confirmation pave way for success next time