Proverbs 13:10 Only by pride cometh contention: James 4:1 From whence come wars and fightings among you? Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath:

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Presentation transcript:

Proverbs 13:10 Only by pride cometh contention: James 4:1 From whence come wars and fightings among you? Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: Romans 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

Sande suggests these four basic principles: 1. Glorify God in your situation 2. Get the log out of your own eye. 3. Gently restore your brother his fault. 4. Go and be reconciled.

Charles Swindoll – “Strike the Original Match” Chapter 7 – How to have a good fight: • Be committed to honesty and mutual respect • Make sure your weapons are not deadly • Agree together that the time is right • Be ready with a positive solution right after taking a swing • Watch your words and guard your tone • Don’t’ swing at your mate in public • When it’s all over help clean up the mess (kindness, tenderness, forgiveness)

Responses to Conflict Escape Suicide Flight Denial Peacemaking (Private) Overlook Reconcile Negotiate (3rd Party) Mediation Arbitration Accountability Attack Assault Litigate Murder

Glorify God Question: How can I please and honor God in this situation? A. Conflict affords one opportunity to be Christlike B. Live in peace C. Trust in the Lord and do good

II. Get the Log out of our own eye Question: How have I contributed to this conflict and what do I need to do? A. Is this really worth fighting over? B. Conflict starts in the heart C. Confession brings freedom

III. Gently Restore Question: How can I lovingly serve others by helping them take responsibility for their contribution to this conflict? A. Just between the two of you B. Speak the truth in love C. Take one or two others along

IV. Go and be reconciled Question: How can I demonstrate the forgiveness of God and encourage a reasonable solution to this conflict? A. Forgive as God forgave you B. Look also to the interests of others C. Overcome evil with good

• Contention is a heart issue – James 4 • Contention is a pride issue – Proverbs 13:10 • We are to make our best effort in resolving our relationships with others • Blessed are the peacemakers • We are ministers of reconciliation