Psychology and sex Chong Ho Yu

Negative views Lehmiller (2014): Traditionally Christianity has a strict and moralistic view towards sexuality and gender role. Ryan and Jetha (2012): monogamous marriage “a false narrative.” Ray (2009, 2012): Christianity – mental “virus” religion – distorting sexuality. religious-based abstinence-only education – ineffective

Sexual diversity “Sex now refers to a wide range of behaviors, including everything from mutual masturbation to oral, vaginal, and anal stimulation, not to mention things like ‘sexting’ and phone sex. Sexual activity today is no longer legally or morally restricted to traditional heterosexual marriage either; sex occurs between unmarried romantic partners, ‘friends with benefits,’ and people of varying sexual orientations. Further, sexual acts can serve a wide range of purposes, with procreation being one possibility. People now see sex as a form of recreation, a way to express love or get closer to a partner, a way to celebrate special occasions, and (for some) a way to make money” (Lehmiller, 2014)

Secular approaches Inward Outward Psychoanalysis New psychoanalysis Temporal: evolutionary biology and psychology Spatial: evolutionary psychology, sociology, and anthropology

Psychoanalysis Reaction to restrictive Victorian moral codes Women have no sexual desire or reproductive desire only. Masturbation causes sickness. Neurosis is caused by unnecessary shame and guilt.

Psychoanalysis Ego, id, superego Achieve happiness if the ego successfully mediates the id and superego. Very often it fails because the superego shaped by the Victorian moral codes denies our id.

New psychoanalysis Over-sexualizing Central thesis remains the same: our desires and behaviors are driven by unconsciousness the mission of psychoanalysis is to make the unconscious conscious. Rape fantasy or other fantasies: normal desire Can be used to get pleasure and orgasm

Temporal approach: Evolutionary biology and psychology Wright (1994/2010): men had to impregnate multiple females in order to spread his sperms, but women are more selective because she can't reproduce more often than once a year. Monogamy is not natural to men.

Evolution The narrowness of the human female’s birth canal and the big size of human baby’s head made laboring very dangerous. Human infants are born with an incomplete body. Human babies have to be taken care by adults for a long period of time. In ancient times human mothers were unable to feed and raise the kids alone. The family institution was gradually established

Evolution In modern societies this moral code or the traditional family value is seen as outmoded because many single mothers are self- sustaining without a husband. In 1992 when Dan Quayle criticized Murphy Brown, many people supported Murphy Brown.

Evolution Ryan and Jetha (2012): “We didn’t descend from apes. We are apes” In prehistoric societies our ancestors lived in communities that shared everything, including sex partners. Women are capable of multiple orgasm and this supports the thesis of prehistoric promiscuity.

Spatial approach: Sociology and anthropology Margaret Mead (1928): Coming age of Samoa Samoan youths were allowed to enjoy sexual adventures. They were less affected by sexual neuroses than their Western peers. Not even a single case of rape was reported, perhaps due to open access to sex.

Criticism Freeman (1983), who is fluent in the Samoan language, challenged Mead’s findings. Mead was unable to speak the native language and thus her account of the Samoan culture relied on interpreters, resulting in many inaccuracies. Freedman traced the source used by Mead and found that either some Samoans didn’t tell the truth or Mead misunderstood their humor.

Mangaia of Polynesia Around the age of 13 or 14, boys are given instruction of how to sexually please a girl, such as kissing, cunnnilingus, breast fondling, and sucking. Two weeks later the boy has sex with an older, experienced woman in order to fine-tune his skill.

Mangaia of Polynesia Girls, also at the age of 13 or 14, are taught by older women on how to get multiple orgasm. Next, girls practiced with men. It is perfectly normal to have many sexual experiences before marriage

Hook-up culture About 73 to 85 percent of US college students had engaged in the hook-up culture. The attractive aspect of the hookup culture is the option of unhooking. Boys and girls can give up a partner at any time, just like deleting a computer file. Compete to win the “V-card” (virginity) Stepp (2007): From middle school, high school, to college.

Zuckerman Religious America has one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates and secular democratic nations have the lowest rates. Failure of the Christianity-based abstinence-only programs. When US young people want to have sex, they are unprepared (Contraception). JP

Phil Zuckerman: Secularization Author of “Faith no more”, “Society without God”, and ”Living the Secular Life”. “An essential feature of most religions, according to founding sociologist Max Weber, is a deep hostility toward sex. And if the orientation toward sex is not quite one of deep hostility, almost every religion still maintains and seeks to impose some form of relatively restrictive sexual regulation that delineates who one can have sex with, as well as when, where, and how… Many religions spend a lot of time and energy making their adherents feel shame and guilt about sexual urges and desires. Sex becomes heavily associated with sin, uncleanliness, and moral depravity”

US vs. Netherlands Schalet (2011): US parents forbid their children to have premarital sex. Dutch parents allow young couples to sleep together at home and even provide them with contraceptives. The teenage pregnancy rate of the Netherlands is far lower than that of the US.

US vs. Netherlands Dutch youths have a healthier concept of the self, relationships, gender, autonomy, and authority. They feel more satisfied their first sexual encounter than their American peers. American young girls often experienced lowering self-esteem after the first intercourse.

Two versions of individualism US: Adversarial individualism Break away from social ties to earn autonomy Disruptive: Dramatization Prior to autonomy parental control is needed Netherlands: Interdependence individualism Work with the community Non-disruptive: Normalization Parental control is not necessary

Challenges Female's multiple orgasm was cited as evidence to support prehistoric promiscuity. Lloyd (2005) reviewed 20 theories of explaining female orgasm but none can adequately explain its function. Is female orgasm caused by frequent sex or the other way around? Sexual intercourse can yield orgasm for only about 25% of women, one third rarely have orgasm, and between 5 to 10 percent never have it. If the majority of women cannot experience orgasm, how can this prove prehistoric promiscuity?

Speculation Achilles heels of evolutionary psychology: over- reliance on speculation. Morris (1967) explained female breasts as visual reminders of the buttocks because long time ago human males penetrated females from the back and later turned to the frontal position. Bering (2012) related the shape of human penis to multiple sexual partners in prehistoric communities. Because more than one man would have sex with a woman, men used his penis to displace the sperm left over by the man who had sex with the same woman before.

Cultural diversity Cultural fallacy: when it is not natural and cultural diversity exists, nothing ought to be. Slavery existed in the past and totalitarian regimes still exist today, but it is absurd to deny universal human rights in the name of cultural diversity. One may argue that societies under slavery and dictatorship are dysfunctional, but sexually open and diverse society are beneficial to individuals.

Functionalism: Group discussion Once upon a time a brother and a sister travelled together to Paris. In the hotel room they decided to have sex. This was out of mutual consent and no coercion was involved. Both of them took contraceptives to ensure that there would not be any unwanted pregnancy. In addition, they agreed to keep the secret so that their parents would not be hurt. They enjoyed the sexual experience and there was no victim in this case. This act fulfills an important function: satisfying their sexual desires. Now, without invoking religion on what ground can you judge this act as wrong?

This happened in Germany In September 2014 Germany’s National Ethics Council called for ceasing the criminalization of incest between siblings after investigating the case of a man who had sex with his sister.

Christian approach Co-humanity in Genesis Song of Songs Early church: Negative, sex is for procreation only; original sin passes through sex. Protestant Reformation: Celibacy is a gift that was given to selected few. Modern church: Abstinence

Discussion In the past people got married in late teenage or early 20s.1950: 20 The average age of first marriage for women in 2017 was 27.4 years. For men, it’s slightly older at 29.5 years. But today due to better nutrition people become physically mature earlier (e.g. 16). 29 – 16 = 13-year wait!

Discussion The abstinence movement seems failing (88% of Americans and 80% of evangelical young adults (18 to 29) had premarital sex. Form a small group to discuss the following question: Synthesizing your knowledge of psychology and theology, what suggestion would you give to the Christian Church regarding sexual ethics?