Pathways to Success Building Self Esteem (lesson # 4) A good reference book for this unit is “100 Ways to Enhance Self-Concept in the Classroom” by Canfield and Wells. And for adults, Barbara Braham’s Self Esteem and Getting Ahead. By Sissy Osteen, Ph.D., CFP PowerPoint by Cindy Clampet Revised 2017

Self Esteem is What you believe you are worth as a person What are you worth? Do you deserve a great job? Friends? Money? Respect? The Good Things of life? Self Esteem is what you believe you are worth and what you believe that you deserve in life. If your self esteem is high, you will be confident and not settle for things that are not what you believe you deserve. If you self esteem is low, you will be unsure of your ability and may believe you don’t deserve good things in life. This bad or negative thinking can make you feel even worse.

Checklist Fill out the Self Esteem Check list on page 2 of your booklet. Where do you rank? (see score at the bottom of the page) Everyone can learn to feel better and more confident about themselves. Do the questionnaire designed to give you an idea of your self-esteem level.

Improving Self Esteem It can take some work, but there are ways you can improve your self esteem. Pick one item off the checklist and try to do that item every chance you get. Say “Hi” to people working in stores or neighbors in your building Say “Thank You” when complemented, rather than “not really” or “its nothing.” What are some other things you can do? Help the learners generate some examples of things they can do to improve self esteem. Try new things Help others—open the door, smile, be helpful Volunteer your time or talents Actively try to learn new things—read, take classes, watch others Others?

More Ways… Learn to give to others… Help others… Develop your own support group. Get a group of friends who like you and care about what happens to you. Know who they are and keep in touch with them weekly and let them know you care about them as well.

Take Action Do what you can do and don’t worry about what you can’t do. Don’t make fun of other people or join in when others are Take care of yourself— Eat right Take time for yourself Do what you think is right Don’t worry about pleasing others Doing things you know are bad for you lowers your self esteem! After you read this slide, ask the class: Have you noticed that this is true? Has this ever happened to you? Is doing new things easy or hard for you? People with low self-esteem sometimes work hard to please others, trying to buy their respect or attention. People respect others who are true to themselves.

Others… Try new things Be Proud of your Success!! I really like this person’s self care plan … What would you add? Can you make your own “Self Care Plan?”

Use Positive Self-Talk Self-Talk is that little voice we all have. It either say: “you are a loser!” or “You CAN do this…no problem!” You can UNLEARN the bad messages. Every time you hear a negative message, rephrase it in your head to a positive message! If you feel funny or fake doing this, just keep doing it! You will become more comfortable and happy as talking positively to yourself becomes a habit. What kind of statements are in your head? Are they helpful and encouraging?

Volunteers need for next activity. Ask---who will volunteer?

How did you feel? What were you thinking about when you thought the instructor needed volunteers? Were you happy and anxious to volunteer? Or were you shrinking down in your seat hoping not to be noticed? If you were thinking negative thoughts, write them on page 8 of your booklet. Just kidding… No volunteers needed! I asked for them because I wanted you to get a little nervous about being picked. How did you feel about possibly being picked? Read the above slide.

Consequences of Negative Thoughts Depression You start and continue to believe yourself Your self-confidence drops You are less likely to try to learn new things You are less likely to be outgoing and friendly Your self-respect drops You don’t believe the best about yourself You may expect to fail, so you don’t even try Do the activities on page 9 & 10 of your booklet It is important to learn to replace the negative thoughts in your head about yourself and your abilities with positive ones! There are some negative consequences to having negative thoughts. They are listed on this slide. When you think positive thoughts about yourself, it encourages your self-esteem to grow. You are more likely to try new things. When you practice and then succeed at doing something new, you self esteem grows even more. Then your are more willing to try something even harder. It’s a cycle that continues. And as it continues, you will become even more confident. Remember, that learning and doing new things takes time and practice. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t succeed the very first time you do something! Just keep trying and success will come.

Build Each Other UP!! Take turns saying 1 nice thing about another person in the class Take a card from the instructor and put your name on the top. Pass the card to the right. Each person will write something good about the person whose name is at the top of the card. Keep passing the cards until everyone has written on each card. Keep your card in your purse or pocket to remind you of the good things others see in you!! Seek out opportunities to build up your own self-esteem.. Also…take opportunities to build up other people’s self-esteem. Lets give others a great gift by seeing the good in them!! Developing self-esteem takes time! You can learn to be more confident and content. Building up your self-esteem is not a selfish act, its an important step to a happier way of life.