Developing Socially Aware Children

1. Baby 2. child 3. Teenager

Key stages for your children… Starting school: Getting dressed/toileting Following routines/simple instructions Moving through Reception and Key Stage 1: Building on independence Sharing in play/building friendships Personal organisation Into Key Stage 2: Broadening their social experience – extra-curricular, school journeys/sleep overs, clubs Friendship groups/awareness of others Off to secondary school: Decision making/taking responsibility Travel and friendship choices Homework and discussing needs Developing interests and social independence

Do you have one of these in your home? Why should I have to tidy away? I’m always right!!! Its never my fault You always try and stop my fun You always take their side Why should I have to share? But you promised we would… Why do I have to go to school? But I don’t want to!!!

Does your child come home and say: No one would play with me The teachers’ always takes her side It’s not fair!! He always cheats It’s not fair!! No one wants to be my friend. They are always nasty to me! I hate playtime!!!!

What do you do next????? Go in and talk to your child’s teacher? Talk to the other child’s parent/s? Suggest to school that they shouldn’t be on the playground? Try and select/make friends for your child? Give your child practical choices? Rehearse what your child might say and do? Think about changing your child’s school?

How can you work with the school to best support your children? Some thoughts on linking with school… Let the school know of any situations at home that may be affecting your child’s presentation Share ideas on what works at home for certain situations –You never know it might work at school!!! If your child is discussing social situations/issues from school – work through ideas and let the school know Explain why things may have happened and again empower them to know what to do to in such situations Homework – value and ensure that they know what to do before leaving the classroom!!! Can homework be adapted if you find a better suited way to get to the concept? Annotate with how your child responded/understood Keep learning at home light and ‘here, there and everywhere’!!! Avoid looking to recreate the classroom at home Accept that teaching children doesn’t come with a realistic manual either!!!

How to help your child to grow socially 1. Nurture your child by noticing her needs and responding to them 2. Empathize with your child’s worries and avoid shaming him 3. Model confident behaviour with other people. Kids learn from watching us 4. Teach your child basic social skills to respond to both adults and children. 5. Help your child learn how to make friends

How to help your child to grow socially 6. Coach your child to express his/her needs 7. Teach your child effective strategies for dealing with feelings of social awkwardness 9. Provide your child with small daily opportunities to interact with others 11. Teach your child that one good friend is worth many acquaintances 10. Don't push your child to perform

Any thoughts or questions? Many thanks for listening… Paul Cabb T/A Social Eyes A Vision for Inclusion Independent SCD Advisor paulcabb@socialeyes.uk.com