Pre-Class Questions What was your biggest take-away from last week’s session on strengthening your relationship? Where are you and your significant other least aligned in your expectations for your relationship?

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Expectations & Family/In-Laws

Expectations

Expectations: Beliefs about the ways things will be or should be

What you CAN expect You’ll be conducting your marriage in a fallen world You’re a sinner who will be married to another sinner There are some expectations you will need to die to God is faithful in the midst of it all

Where do our Expectations Come From?

Expectations that are not met lead to feelings of: ANGER Sadness Disappointment Frustration

Progression of an unhealthy marriage: Unmet Expectations Disappointment Disconnecting DIVORCE

Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

Progression of a healthy marriage: COMMITMENT Personal Responsibility Discovery Unmet Expectations

Three Key Problems You can be unaware of expectations you have for your relationship. Your expectations can be unreasonable. Even if reasonable, expectations can be unspoken.

A Better Way to Manage Expectations Be aware of what you expect. Be reasonable in what you expect. Be open about what you expect. Be willing to listen to the Lord.

Break 1 Discussion Questions How well have you communicated your expectations to your significant other? Can you think of any situations where expectations were not clear between the two of you? if so, how did your resolve it? What are your expectations about opposite sex relationships/friends? Have you discussed with your significant other? What are some ways you can become more aware of your expectations of your significant other? Where do your personal expectations come from? What is the most significant source of your relationship/marriage expectations?

Family & In-Laws

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Everyone brings their own baggage into the marital relationship. You are stamped with the DNA of your parents. You don’t just marry the individual, you marry the whole family and you get all of the baggage that comes with them.

Raymond Video

2. Become one Flesh For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 (Repeated in Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7-8, Ephesians 5:31)

2. Become one Flesh The man leaves his father and mother, become united with his wife, and together they form a new family.

3. Be on the same Team Follow the normal rules of conduct with your parents and in-laws. Don’t run to your parents or other family members every time you have an issue with your spouse. Do not allow your parents or yourself to bad mouth your spouse.

Romans 14:19 “so then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.”

Be sure to communicate your plan for holidays, birthday, and other big events All husbands, wives, parents, and in-laws have differing expectations. Come up with a plan together well in advance of the event.

Galatians 1:10 for am I now seeking the approval of man or God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ…

Be proactive - build the relationship Money & Gifts Communication

6. Be realistic and accept reality

7. Choose your attitude rather than blame others for your responses

James 4:6 God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

8. Your own marriage is the top priority

Break 2 Discussion Questions What are some of your favorite traits of your own family? What are some of your concerns about either your own family or your significant other’s family? What are some Christmas family traditions you have in your family? What are some ways you can grow in your relationship with your potential future in-laws? What are some things you want to bring into your current relationship from your parent’s relationship? What are you some things you know you want to leave out of your relationship that you may have ‘inherited’ from your own parents?

Closing Announcements Homework - Lots and lots and lots of it... Next Week - Sexual Intimacy Blended Family Event - September 23, 2015, 6:30- 8:30pm RSVP to Emily Baxter, merge@watermark.org Twogether in Texas Certificates!