Why Can’t we all just get along? Nicole Logue- Care Coordinator Student Accountability and Support

Problem Solving Why is this important? Leadership Improves Learning Employers Problem solving helps with leadership positions, it’s the responsibility of the leadership to be able to problem solve and teach the members how to problem solve effectively. Often problems start small- its important to have the skills and feel comfortable to address it. The development and use of problem-solving skills also improves learning. Change from a passive recipient of information to a participant in the creation of understanding - Employers want employees with the ability to apply problem-solving skills when faced with issues or problems

DECIDE D –Define the problem. E –Educate yourself and identify alternatives. C –Consider consequences; pros and cons of each. I –Identify your choice. D –Develop a plan to implement your decision. E –Evaluate your decision.

Skills Positive Outlook Be Open-Minded Mistakes Happen Watch your Emotions Challenge your assumptions Be Honest and Realistic Positive Outlook. Sometimes our first reaction is to fear uncertainty. Look at it as an opportunity to learn something new and to test your ability and wit. Group- how individuals react can be infectious to the group. This controls the moral of the group, set an example Be open-minded. An old saying goes, “If the only tool you have is a hammer, everything becomes a nail.” What you have done in the past may not always work for all problems. There are often many solutions to a given problem. Do not assume you know the answer from the start. Don't jump to conclusions. Be open to all possibilities. Group- Just because the group did something in the past doesn’t mean that you have to use the same strategy. Mistakes happen. May have to go through a hundred bad solutions first. Thomas Edison was a master of this process. For every invention he developed, he made a thousand tries at things that did not work. Mistakes are okay. Don’t get discouraged. Don’t get frustrated. Use the mistakes as stepping stones Watch your emotions. Emotions or stress can sometimes affect our thinking and judgment. Do not let these cloud your mind. If you find you are too emotionally charged, pause for a moment and let yourself calm down first. Step back from the challenge and maybe give it another day. Group- Remember that you are being watched, these are learning moments Challenge your assumptions. Be mindful of the answers you have obtained and assumptions you have made. Don’t jump to conclusions too fast. Slow down. Mistakes do happen, so check, recheck and then check again. When you are satisfied with your solution, don’t forget to test it under various conditions, not just the most likely scenario. Be honest and realistic. One of the key risks we have in problem solving is believing in a solution more than the facts reveal. We need to be honest with ourselves and ideas. It is okay to take a leap of faith. There is value in judgment. Taking a solution too seriously or personally though may cause us to look past the facts. That too is a decision.

Skills Ask Questions, Think Logically Take a Different Perspective and Define the Problem Take Bite-Sized Chunks, Find Similarities Keeping the End in Mind Notes & Progress Start Over Ask questions to understand the problem. Think logically. Fear of looking stupid. You must first understand it. Easy problems vs complex. Don’t jump to fast into a solution create a plan. Take a different perspective. Define the problem completely. Look at it from a different vantage point (may be part of a bigger problem). Seek out the “real” problem. Understand the problem in its entirety, only then can you determine the best course of action. Take a minute or two to actually define the problem. What the problem isn’t, as well as what it is. You may already know what tools you need to apply or what solutions to avoid because they are not appropriate. Take Bite-Sized Chunks. Find similarities Some problems are simply too big to chew all at once. A useful technique for solving complex problems is drilling-down into the detail and continuing until each piece becomes manageable. Solve each individually. It is easier to see the patterns, symptoms, tools, and techniques to apply and the actions that need to take place. Does this problem share the same characteristics as something else you have solved. Keeping the end in mind. This is like visualizing the solution. Remember those tracing games someone would give you when you were younger...like a maze for example? This is known as traversing the solution path. Sometimes getting from the start state to the end state is not as immediately obvious as seeing how the end state can come from the start state. Group- this can be detrimental to the group if they have a specific end in mind- have to be able to shift the end and/or the path. Example: Amend the constitution if you find that something doesn’t work. Take notes and record your progress,. Record your progress and ensure you can trace back to the things you have tried and what the results were. Start Over. Problems and obstacles are not always solved on the first pass, or second or third pass. Testing solutions will often reveal gaps and issues not addressed through review and from various perspectives. Solutions can evolve and improve.

Activity Draw a bug Give directions · No questions, no talking to each other · There is no right or wrong way for this exercise, do it your way · Slowly read directions to draw a bug ? you should draw it too 1) The bug is round 2) The bug has eight legs, grouped in pairs with four legs on the left and four legs on the right 3) In the pairs, one leg is longer than the other 4) The bug has two eyes on top of the body 5) The bug has two squiggly antennas 6) The bug has two pea-pod shaped wings 7) The bug has a triangular stinger on the bottom of the body 8) The bug has two feelers on each foot, one longer than the other, both coming from the same side of the leg 9) The bug has a round mouth, placed between the two eyes 10) The bug laid five square eggs to the left of the stinger

Conflict When two or more people want different things Natural part of life- can be positive and promote growth Dealing with conflicts will help with relationships, work, school and interactions Opportunity for change Internal conflict

What types of things create conflict in your Organization? How will you transition or pass along information to minimize conflict for the next group of leaders?

Conflict Styles Avoiding (Turtle) Accommodating (Teddy Bear) Avoid the issue-hope it resolves itself Aren’t pursuing goals of yourself or other party Effective Issue is trivial, can’t win Issue is costly Emotionally charged-create space Accommodating (Teddy Bear) Give in during a conflict Acknowledge they made a mistake/decide it was no big deal Put relationships first, ignore issues, and try to keep peace at any price Effective: Other party is an expert/better solution Quiz in packet – can learn what conflict style you are more comfortable using.

Conflict Styles (cont.) Competing (Shark) Takes a “Win- Lose” approach Does not rely on cooperation with the other party to reach outcome (may be at the expense of the other party) Appropriate for emergencies- need quick, decisive action and people are aware of the approach Collaborating (Owl) Assert own views while also listening to other views and welcoming difference Seek a “Win-Win” outcome Identify underlying concerns of a conflict Create room for multiple ideas Requires time and effort from both parties

Conflict Styles (cont.) Compromising (Fox) Try to find fast, mutually acceptable solutions to conflicts that partially satisfy both parties Results in a “lose-lose” approach – no one gets exactly what they want Appropriate for temporary solutions or where both sides have equally important goals Compromising can seem as an easy way out when collaborating would create a better solution.

Activity Clenched Fist Conflict styles are based on the issue, the situation, the significance of the relationship, and personal values. The style one chooses directly affects the conflict’s outcome. Clenched Fist With a partner, one student clenches his or her fist. As a team, they need to figure out a way to unclench this student’s fist. Give them 30 seconds to figure it out. Processing • What happened? • How did you get the person to unclench his or her fist? • What worked? What didn’t work? • How did you approach the conflict? • What conflict style did you use?

Conflict Resolution Influences Perceptions Biases Different Experiences, families, and backgrounds Unique point of view Biases Be aware, don’t need to act on them Make no assumption- get to know the other person

Conflict Resolution What is it? Nonverbal Communication Communication Trying a new conflict resolution technique will help you get a new result and possibly help you feel better about the situation. Non Verbal Points • Facial expressions, Posture, Eye contact, Leaning forward, Nodding, Open body posture, Hand gestures, Appropriate encouragers (uh-uh, oh, no, ok, yeah), Showing empathy • Many times, nonverbal cues are more important than what is actually being communicated. • Paying close attention and observing the nonverbal cues tells you a great deal about what is really happening. • Check in to see if the verbal and nonverbal cues match. If not, ask the speaker to clarify. Communication • Active listening and encouraging: Eye contact, nodding, face the speaker, listen for main points, try hard to understand what the other person is saying, identify feeling, lean in to speaker, ask open-ended questions, paraphrase content. •More is conveyed in conversations than most people hear. • Dig deeper, look for issues. • Listen for what is not being said. • Active listening takes work. • Focus on the speaker and not on what your response is going to be.

Tips for Dealing with Conflict Take time to cool off (calm down and take a deep breath) Think about the person as a person (avoiding labels) Listen to understand the other person’s point of view and where they are coming from, trying not to assume or judge. Find something you can agree on (Think win-win. How can we work together?) Speak from your own perspective. Be specific about your problem Remember that it takes two people to maintain a conflict. Consider what you contribute to the conflict. Forget the Past and stay with the present • • You can only be responsible for yourself and change the way you respond to the situation.

Conflict Resolution Process Find a good time and place to talk Discuss the problem (Clarify issues) Get all the facts Use active listening (reflective) Use “I” messages Focus on the problem and not the person Avoid communication blockers - Neutral location, time to prepare, and a time that works for everyone

Communication Blockers Clashing Egos- Styles of Conflict Name Calling Sarcasm/Ridicule Insulting Threatening Blaming Inflexibility Defensive Body Posturing/Language

Conflict Resolution Process (cont.) Generate a variety of options; brainstorm Choose a solution that works for everybody Try the solution. If it doesn’t work, go back to step three and renegotiate.