Pre AP – October 10, 2019 Do now… Get ready to take quick notes Discuss expectations for the conclusion Remaining time… The entire essay is due on Monday, October 21st!!! IMPORTANT: Given the amount of time you have had in class to work on this assignment, any essay not completed by the due date will be marked down by 30%!

Expectations for the Conclusion Specific General

Restating the Thesis Do not copy and paste! – Some people think “restate” means “repeat” – this is not true. Do MORE THAN just “restate the thesis” – Revisit main arguments and remind the reader once more of all the reasons he/she should care about your topic, and of all the wonderful evidence you provided to convince him/her that your topic matters.

Come Full Circle – You should “give a nod” to your hook somewhere in your conclusion. The general statement (or at least the idea behind your statement) that you made in the hook should, in some way, make its way back to the conclusion.

Explain the Implications – Take the topic of your essay beyond this specific topic and tell your reader why it matters in the big picture. Why should your reader care?

In the Conclusion Paragraph NEVER EVER EVER. . . use clichés which sound good but mean nothing (This proves that life is like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’ll get) blatantly refer to the actual essay ("this essay shows you...“ or “as you can see from the information presented above…”) introduce new arguments, evidence, or details sound repetitive or list-like (I gave this example, and that example, and the other example…”) leave readers frustrated after reading an otherwise wonderful paper!

My Hook Actions have consequences My Hook Actions have consequences. This is a lesson most individuals have been taught since childhood… My thesis: …Americans should not willingly give up their individual freedoms. Doing so could result in loss of privacy, loss of protection, and loss of identity.  Authors George Orwell, someone else, and someone else, use their works to inform their audience of these possible dangers.

Sample Conclusion Actually RESTATED my thesis (said it in a new way) The implications of giving away too many personal freedoms are far reaching. Modern thinkers like Orwell, someone else, and someone else have shown that doing so can result in the corruption of governing bodies and the manipulation of its citizens. Americans must stop being so complacent, begin to pay attention to the ways in which their information is being gathered, and take their privacy back. The consequences of failing to do so may result in a greater threat to American safety from within our borders, than any threat we face from without. Came full circle and explained implications

Today’s Work: On your own paper, create a chart like the one above. Read your partner’s essay Give them a score for each category (1-9) Defend your score under the “explanation” section – you can also write directly on their essay. When done, add up all scores and divide by 4. This is the overall score. Example: Claim Evidence Ideas Diction/Syntax Overall Score 6 5 7 8 = 26 / 4 = 6.5 (round up) = 7