Revising Your Thesis: Helping You Write With a Clear Analytical Focus A writer must set up a controlling idea that answers WHY? Or HOW? about a topic or situation. Look at this example of a thesis statement: There are many reasons why I believe that smoking should be banned in public places. What do you think? How would your rank this thesis statement?

There are many reasons why I believe that smoking should be banned in public places. This is not a bad thesis statement. It is clear and it lets the readers know exactly your opinion and how you are going to prove it. However, this obvious type of statement will probably lead your paper more toward a “C” instead a of “B” or “A”.

Moving toward a more specific controlling idea: What is better in each one? Which is best? Why? Smoking should be banned in public places because the real victim is the non-smoker who must breathe second-hand smoke. Although smokers may argue that a smoking ban in public places violates their rights, the real violation occurs when smoking is permitted in public places.

Use the formula below to rewrite your thesis statement. “Although” word + counterpoint, + actual thesis statement = ONE AWESOME THESIS STATEMENT! “Although, Albeit, Despite the fact that, Even though, Even if, Even, In spite of, Notwithstanding, Supposing, Though, While” are all good ways to start your thesis statement Follow the “Although” statement with a counterpoint to your argument. Explain the why and how of your argument (actual thesis statement).

Thesis Practice: 1. Explain what is wrong with the thesis. 2 Thesis Practice: 1. Explain what is wrong with the thesis. 2. Rewrite the thesis statement correctly. 1. Purpose: To explain why iPods should be allowed to be turned on during school hours at the teacher’s discretion. Thesis: I am going to tell you why iPods should be allowed during school hours, if the teacher allows it.

Thesis Practice: 1. Explain what is wrong with the thesis. 2 Thesis Practice: 1. Explain what is wrong with the thesis. 2. Rewrite the thesis statement correctly. 2. Purpose: To show how same-sex classes improve student learning.   Thesis: The new idea of putting students in same-sex classes is proven to improve student learning.

Thesis Practice: 1. Explain what is wrong with the thesis. 2 Thesis Practice: 1. Explain what is wrong with the thesis. 2. Rewrite the thesis statement correctly. 3. Purpose: To persuade teachers should give no more than two nights of homework a week. Thesis: Although most teachers consider homework a valuable concept, it would provide a better classroom environment.

Thesis Practice: 1. Explain what is wrong with the thesis. 2 Thesis Practice: 1. Explain what is wrong with the thesis. 2. Rewrite the thesis statement correctly. 4. Purpose: To prove that violent video games actually make society less violent. Thesis: Despite the fact that many video games allow the gamer to perform violent acts in the video world, they allow gamers to get out their aggressive tendencies without harming real people.

Thesis Practice: 1. Explain what is wrong with the thesis. 2 Thesis Practice: 1. Explain what is wrong with the thesis. 2. Rewrite the thesis statement correctly. 5. Purpose: To prove that Kentucky basketball has the number one all time basketball program. Even though other schools have strong basketball tradition, our fans support the basketball program more than any other program.