Response Abilities Pathways An Outline of Response Abilities Pathways

Some Key Concepts Young people depend on adults for emotional security.

Pain and the Brain Experiences that trigger stress and trauma cause pain to register in the anterior cingulate cortex in the brain (Anglia; Dowman)

Fighting Pain With Pain Most traditional approaches to discipline centre around the use of punishment.

With PAIN-BASED BEHAVIOUR Tit for Tat Emotional Reaction (ER) Cycles 2005 Circle of Courage emotion emotion reaction reaction Young person reacts With PAIN-BASED BEHAVIOUR Adult reacts With PAIN-BASED DISCIPLINE

‘…….look beyond my faults to find my needs’ We Need an Alternative Approach ‘…….look beyond my faults to find my needs’ Lyric by Joyce Reba Rambo

The Circle of Courage Generosity Independence Belonging Mastery

Circle of Courage - Research Foundations Resilience Research Self-Worth Research Belonging Opportunities to establish trusting connections Mastery Opportunities to solve problems and meet goals Independence Opportunities to develop self-control and responsibility Generosity Opportunities to show respect and concern Attachment Motivation to affiliate and form social bonds Achievement Motivation to work hard and attain excellence Autonomy Motivation to manage self and exert influence Altruism Motivation to help and be of service to others Significance The individual believes, “I am important” Competence The individual believes, “I can solve problems” Power The individual believes, “I set my life pathway” Virtue The individual believes, “My life has purpose”

Disconnected Kids High Risk Behaviours of Young People With Weak Bonds to Adults

The First Stage of RAP - Connecting The human brain has programs that motivate us to connect to others. Young people connect to adults and peers who meet their needs. Respect Trust Empowerment Understanding

The Private Logic of Adult Wary Kids – Barriers to Connection FIGHT – HURT OR BE HURT Threat display: I am dangerous Power display: I am the boss Pay back: I’ll make them suffer FLIGHT: HIDE OR BE HURT Isolate: Shut out people Retreat: Shut out the pain Escape: I can’t take any more FOOL: OUTSMART THEM Deceiving: Charm and disarm Diversion: Act dumb and crazy Mind games: Insult and provoke FOLLOW: BAND TOGETHER Peer power: Follow friends Alpha Power: Follow the leader Contagion: Follow the crowd

Bidding To Connect We need to recognise when kids make bids to connect with us.

The Second Stage of RAP - Clear Thinking From Risk to Resilience Challenge Logic Emotions Actions Results Challenge What event triggered the stress? Logic What thoughts came to mind? Emotions What feelings triggered action? Actions What coping strategy was used? Results What consequences followed?

Minimising and Mislabeling BAMMS Thinking Errors Blaming Others always try to start fights with me. I’m worthless and don’t deserve to live. Assuming the Worst You can’t trust anybody – they always lie to you. No matter how hard I try, I always fail. Minimising and Mislabeling Everyone does it so what’s the big deal? So I slapped her around – she’s just a ho! Self-centred If I see something I like, it’s mine. Why should I care? I take care of myself.

Rescripting is a Key Scripts are terms or phrases designed to influence thinking. Done well, they have the power to alter private logic. A Sample Belonging Script It’s great to have you here. A Sample Mastery Script A great kid like you – I know you’re going to be able to handle it. A Sample Independence Script Seems to me you’re a person who likes to think for themselves. A Sample Generosity Script Thank you for helping out.

The Third Stage of RAP - Restoring With the Circle of Courage STRENGTHS PROBLEMS RESTORATIVE GOALS Belonging trust friendly Warm gregarious accepting Alienation guarded withdrawn unattached lonely rejected Belonging/Attachment a. b. Mastery achievement focused creative persistent organised Incompetence inadequacy unmotivated confused defeatist cheat Mastery/Achievement Independence responsible confident self-disciplined leader assertive Irresponsibility unreliable helplessness undisciplined easily misled rebellious Independence/Autonomy Generosity respectful sharing kind empathic supportive Selfishness selfish vengeful exploitative self-centred indifferent Generosity/Altruism

Making Caring Fashionable