Dealing with stress and worry

Contents of the workshop Worry Stress Assertiveness Sources of help and next steps

Looking after ourselves Respect each other Let people speak – no interrupting No wrong answers Confidential

What is worry?

Spending a lot of time thinking about bad things Being preoccupied with negative possibilities Fears about the future Present concerns Feelings about the past Almost everybody worries

What things make you feel worried?

How do you feel when worried?

Fight or flight – adrenalin Butterflies in stomach, headaches, feeling sick Sleeping problems –rumination Self confidence Obsessional behaviour

Stress

Depression waking up early, having difficulty sleeping, or sleeping more feeling tired and lacking energy; doing less and less not eating properly and losing or putting on weight physical aches and pains with no physical cause feeling low-spirited for much of the time, every day getting no pleasure out of life or what you usually enjoy blaming yourself and feeling unnecessarily guilty about things lacking self-confidence and self-esteem being preoccupied with negative thoughts feeling numb, empty and despairing

How to deal with worry Having the occasional worry is not the same as feeling worried each and every day. When it gets too much, what do you do?

Tips for dealing with worry Writing a list – getting the worries out, or just making a plan Confronting your fears – fear of unknown, you might cope Taking action – each thought and possible action. Praise yourself Being assertive. Being in control

Tips for dealing with worries Talking it over …. Family Friends Faith GP Counsellor Expert advice Not necessarily going to SOLVE the problem, but you feel heard, understood and feel supported

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy “Focuses on the way people think and act in order to help them overcome their emotional and behavioural problems”

CBT exercise

Stress

Physical symptoms -breathlessness, headaches, fainting, chest pains, sweating, pins and needles, high blood pressure, feeling sick, constant tiredness, sleeping problems, constipation or diarrhoea, appetite change, catching colds easily, physical symptoms heightened Psychological symptoms -aggressive, irritable, dreading failure, believing you are bad, losing sense of humour, depressed, neglected, lacking interest Behavioural symptoms - Difficulty making decisions, problems concentrating, denial, avoiding difficult situations

Cortisol – fight or flight Positive impacts A quick burst of energy for survival reasons Heightened memory functions A burst of increased immunity Lower sensitivity to pain But… in our current high-stress culture, the body’s stress response is activated so often that the body doesn’t always have a chance to return to normal, resulting in a state of chronic stress.chronic stress

Impaired cognitive performance Lowered immunity and inflammatory responses in the body, slowed wound healing, and other health consequences Higher blood pressure Suppressed thyroid function Blood sugar imbalances such as hyperglycemia Increased abdominal fat…risks of heart disease, stroke, etc

Reducing cortisol Listening to music Massage Laughing, and the experience of humour Crying Mood and food – sugar, caffeine, alcohol, smoking Argentine tango!

Dealing with stress and worry Be kind to yourself Get organised – change what you can Go outside Confide in someone If it’s seriously affecting your life – see your GP

Where to get help GP Richmond Borough Mind Help and information from me! Richmond AID

Mindfulness

Assertiveness

What is assertiveness? An assertive person values him or herself and others, seeks respectful communication with others Yet at the same time is able to set boundaries and protect themselves from exploitation, attack and hostility

You can say ‘Yes’ when you mean ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ when you mean ‘No’ You can communicate clearly to others what you are feeling and what you want from them, in a calm way You don’t let a fear of conflict silence you

Why is it important? Development of self confidence lost through stress and worry If you are unable to communicate your needs, and the effect of other people’s actions on you, you can become resentful at the lost of control Stress, frustration and anger can follow YOU matter

Aggressive, passive and assertive behaviour Aggressive – only your needs important, regardless of others you will get your own way Passive – victim mentality, avoiding conflict, not expressing opinions Passive-aggressive – can’t express feelings, but blame others, and sulk or behave rebelliously

Assertive behaviour Assertive people claim their own space, but don’t seek to invade anyone else’s They don’t try to control others, nor allow others to control them They express their opinions and ask for what they want Look for a ‘win-win’ situation for all involved Treats everyone with respect and time to put their views across – including themselves

“You can be assertive because you value yourself. You feel entitled to be here, to be who you are and to express your opinion.”

Improving assertiveness Body language -Keeping a relaxed face -Facing the other person while speaking -Speaking clearly and calmly -Active listening -Matching your body language to the words you are saying

Expressing your feelings Using I not You Avoid ‘shoulds’ Telling someone how you feel – without accusing them Saying no

Looking after yourself Classes Talking treatments Treating yourself well

Summary Worry and stress CBT, mindfulness and GP Self help Assertiveness and self esteem Sources of help – GP, RB Mind

Thank you for coming!