What Do I Bring to the Table?

Becoming the ‘right person’

Preparation for the Blessing

Examine, Adjust, Repair Your Self-Portrait

Third Realm of Heart

Second Realm Of Heart

First Realm of Heart

Are you capable of building the marriage of your dreams?

Self-Reflection Self-Awareness Life Goals

Write down three adjectives that best describe your character

The most important preparation is internal: 1.Motivation 2.Maturity 3.Capacity to Love 4.Faith

1. Motivation

What is your motivation to be Blessed?

You want someone to love you

You think you should

You’re lonely

You want to be happy

How many people are scared about the whole thing?

Marriage is our spiritual path

Most spiritual growth happens in and thru’ relationships Maturity is measured in our ability to love

2. Maturity

integrity and conscience

self-discipline and self-control

managing your feelings

How do you handle…… disappointment? loneliness? rejection? stress? anger?

How do you deal with challenge?

How do you deal with boredom?

What tools do I use to maintain my spiritual and emotional health?

What do you do when someone hurts your feelings? Or disagrees with you?

How are you at forgiving?

awareness of others

How are you at sacrifice?

OMG!

deferring gratification

marshmallow test

Those who resisted temptation were reaching their goals socially competent, embraced challenges, coped well with frustration, confident, trustworthy dependable

We have baggage

family history

past hurts

mistakes

misconceptions about marriage

All our needs will get met, always

Bad habits get replaced by good habits as soon as you get married

bring them with you

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it

“The strongest characteristic of a marriageable person is the habit of happiness.” Dr. M. Landis -

Can I be happy even when things don’t go my way? Do I usually count my blessings or do I count what’s missing? Do I often compare my situation to others?

We decide how happy or unhappy we will be

What kind of person are you ?

Attitude of Gratitude

Happy couples share exaggerated views of their spouses

Maturity is really about being able to take responsibility

Responsible Attitude: Committed to growing my heart and maturing my character to its full potential

Next Stage… Committed to helping my future partner become the best they can be

3. Capacity for Love

loving actions

acceptance

assume the best

listen for the heart

look for the gold

real love

commitment

Can you stick to something or to someone thru’ thick and thin?

4. Faith

basic sense of core beliefs

What nourishes and inspires me?

What do I know is true?

life of faith

Rely on God

compulsion for completeness is at the core of each of us

We hope our partners will complete our deep need for significance

Not even the most loving and Godly spouse can always fulfill our deepest needs for love and significance

need to rely on God

God-Centered Marriage

develop a personal relationship with God

pay attention to your actions and reactions

practice loving

go beyond your comfort zone

work on important relationships

Marriage requires flexibility, acceptance and humor

life is crazy

people always change

stuff happens

“No matter how good your partner is, you will not find his or her value unless you have within you the quality to do so.” - True Father

What am I bringing to the table?

always more to learn

Fourth Realm