Transactional Analysis How We Spend Our Time

Transactional Analysis A model for explaining why and how: People think like they do People act like they do People interact/communicate with others Based on published ‘psychological’ work such as: Games People Play (Dr. Eric Berne) I’m OK - - You’re OK (Dr. Tom Harris) Born to Win (Dr. Dorothy Jongeward)

Our Brain (according to Berne) Determines what we think and how we act Acts like a tape recorder while recording Events Associated feelings Has 3 distinct parts or ego states Parent Adult Child

Transactional Analysis Eric Berne was born in 1910 in Montreal, Canada. His father was a doctor & his mother was an editor. His father died at age 38, when Eric was 9 Earned an MD in 1935 from McGill Univ Became a US citizen and served in Utah during WWII, practicing group therapy

Transactional Analysis Was denied membership in the Psychoanalytic Institute in 1956 This brought about his rejection of psychoanalysis and was a turning point in his life Wrote the book Games People Play Died of a heart attack in 1970 at the age of 60

Transactional Analysis Four methods of understanding & predicting human behavior Structural analysis – within the person Transactional analysis – 2 or more people Game analysis – understanding transactions that lead to bad feelings Script analysis – understand a person’s life plan

Transactional Analysis Structural analysis – Natural child – spontaneous, impulsive, feeling oriented, self-centered & pleasure loving Adaptive child – compliant, conforms to the wishes & demands of parental figures

Transactional Analysis Transactional Analysis or TA is a way of understanding … and changing human behavior … why communication fails and how it can be corrected. … one to one relationships

Transactional Analysis TA Ego States or Personality Aspects Parent Adult Child

Transactional Analysis Parent… learned to act and feel much as those that raised us. Parent Prejudiced/Critical Parent… follows rules, accepts slogans, holds opinions without thinking first of facts. Nurturing Parent… Supportive and protective toward others, offers help and guidance.

Transactional Analysis Clues to Someone in Their Parent … a frown or stern look. … tone of voice. … pointing of the index finger. … arms folded as to say “what are you doing?” … uses phrases like; “you should,” “you ought to,” “that is right!” … words such as; sympathizing, punishing. moralizing, judging, giving orders, criticizing.

Recognizing the Parent State A person in a NP stated is likely Use words such as well-done, good, gentle, caring, don't worry Use a loving, caring, comforting or concerned tone of voice Use open, encouraging gestures, smiling, leaning forward, nodding of head Have a caring, understanding attitude

Recognizing the Parent State A person in CP state may: Use words , such as bad, should, ought, must, always, ridiculous, unacceptable Use a patronizing, critical or disapproving tone of voice Use aggressive gestures Come across as judgmental, authoritarian Be intimidating or controlling

Transactional Analysis Child… what we were when we were young. Child Free Child… Open to life, spontaneous, filled with the sense of wonder and delight, self centered, aggressive, rebellious, does not consider the consequences of feeling or actions. Adapted Child… Polite, sociable, recognizes the rights of others,adapts behavior to suit them, can resent the rights/demands of others, complies grudgingly, feels unsure about themselves, procrastinates .

Transactional Analysis Clues to Someone in Their Child … smiling, laughing, having fun. … tone of voice. … crying, having tantrums, getting into trouble. … childlike facial expressions. … uses words/phrases like; “Wow!,” “Gosh!,” “I wish,” “I feel.”

Recognizing the Child State A person in a free child state Use words as wow, great, ouch, want Talk loudly, energetically, free of constraint Use spontaneous gestures and expressions Be curious, fun-loving, changeable

Recognizing the Child State A person in adapted child may Use words such as can’t, try, hope, please, perhaps, wish Sound sulky whinny, placating Come across as innocent, helpless, sad, scared Act in a defiant, ashamed or compliant way

Transactional Analysis Adult… looks at the facts and reasons out the answer - the computer ins us. Adult … figures things out logically. … takes responsibility for thoughts, feeling and actions. … solves problems and makes decisions.

Transactional Analysis Clues to Someone in Their Adult … straight forward facial expression. … active listener, eyes blink every 3 to 5 seconds showing attention. … speaks of probabilities. … uses phrases like; “In my opinion,” “Based on what I have observed,” “So far the facts seem to indicate.”

Recognizing the Adult State A person in as Adult Sated is likely to Speak in an even voice Have an erect posture and use open gestures Be alert and thoughtful about a problem they are facing Clarify the situation by careful questioning Hypothesize and process information Use words like correct, how, what, why, practical, quality

People generally exhibit all three Ego states. All three Ego states are necessary to healthy personality People can change the frequency of which They use one ego state by concentrating Or developing another

Ego Portraits People have favorite, preferred ego state, depicted by larger circle in a diagram Parent Adult Child P P P A A A C C C

Human Interaction Analysis A transaction = any interaction or communication between 2 people People send and receive messages out of and into their different ego states How people say something (what others hear?) just as important as what is said Types of communication, interactions Complementary Crossed Ulterior

Complementary ‘Transactions’ Interactions, responses, actions regarded as appropriate and expected from another person. Parallel communication arrows, communication continues. Example 1: #1 What time do you have? #2 I’ve got 11:15. P P A A C C

Complementary ‘Transactions’ cont’d Example 2: #1 You’re late again! P P #2 I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. A A C C

Crossed ‘Transactions’ Interactions, responses, actions NOT regarded as appropriate or expected from another person. Crossed communication arrows, communication breakdown. Example 1 #1 What is the time ? #2 There’s a clock on the wall, why don’t you figure it out yourself? P P A A C C

Crossed ‘Transactions’ cont’d Example 2 #1 You’re late again! #2 Yeah, I know, I had a flat tire. P P A A C C

Ulterior ‘Transactions’ Interactions, responses, actions which are different from those explicitly stated Example #1 How about coming up to my room and listening to some music? P P A A C C

Life Positions are attitudes which people adoptand act out concerning their self-worth and the value of others

Life Positions I’m OK, you’re OK I’m not OK, you’re OK I’m OK, you’re not OK I’m not OK, you’re not OK

I’m not OK, you’re OK Submit to, concede You have a low opinion of your own value and poor self esteem; lack self confidence and expect things to go wrong A negative outlook tends to lead to a self fulfilling prophesy and you often lose out in situations

I’m OK, you’re not OK Compete, aggression You will tend to be competitive. You may not cope well with failure, look down at others, blame other people and see them as cause of your failure

I’m not OK, you’re not OK Avoid Life may seem to be futile and that nothing can be done to improve things. A life of rejecting and feeling rejected

I’m OK, you’re OK Cooperate, share You believe in yourself and others, are trusting and tend to get on with life

Transactional Analysis- Script analysis Script analysis – everyone develops a life script by age 5 & these scripts determine how one interacts with others based upon the interpretation of external events A negative life script occurs when the person receives lots of injunctions by the parents that used the word DON’T

Transactional Analysis Common negative life scripts: Never – one never gets to do what one wants Until – one must wait until a certain time or until something is done to be able to do something they want to do Always – one must continue to do what one has always done

Transactional Analysis After – a difficulty is expected after a certain event Open-ended – one does not know what to do after a given time Mini-scripts: Hurry up! Try harder! Be perfect! Be strong! Please someone! These drivers allow for temporary escape from life scripts

Driver Styles or Commands These are script messages which we have received from our parents when we were very young and which help to form our life script and OK positions Drivers induce us to act in a particular way

The 5 Drivers are Be Prefect – if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well Please (others) –be nice to everyone, guess what they want you to do and then do it Try hard – try at something rather than focus energy on its completion Be strong – I can cope, leave it to me Hurry up Every time we act out a dominant driver we are responding in the adapted child ego state to an internal voice which is in parent mode.

Changing Life Script The main aim of TA is to get an individual in a position of ‘autonomy’ Becoming aware of your life stance Adopting a more positive view of yourself and other Recognizing that you can alter the way you behave Recognizing that you and you alone control your life and destiny

Strokes Stroking is an act of recognition for another. Everyone has to have strokes (affection, recognition and praise). Strokes may be positive, negative and mixed Conditional and unconditional

Giving and receiving strokes Don’t be insincere Accept strokes positively from other people Make a conscious effort to give strokes to other people Try to recognize other people’s reaction to strokes and the frequency/kind they appear to appreciate Ask for strokes when you feel you need them Give yourself strokes when you feel you deserve/need them

Games Games are a set of transactions that have surface logic but hidden meaning and attempt to draw in an unsuspecting participant. An outcome of games is always a win-lose propositions

Transactional Analysis- Game analysis Game analysis - ulteriorly motivated transactions that appear complimentary on the surface but end in bad feelings: 1st Degree games – minor upset, played socially end up with minor discomfort 2nd Degree games – more intimate end up w/bad feelings 3rd Degree games - usually involve physical injury

Transactional Analysis Very few games have a positive or neutral outcome In these games, people play one of three positions: Victim Persecutor Rescuer http://www.ericberne.com/Games_People_Play.htm

(T.A.) Games Crooked or covert exchanges of strokes Regularly repeated interactions with ulterior motives Often the players of these games are not conscious they are doing this But sometimes they are!

(T.A.) Games Wooden leg: An example of a game I’d be able to get a job, if only I didn’t have this wooden leg (or other disability, or long term unemployment or this stupid federal government, or whatever)

Group Exercise You have a friend who uses the wooden leg excuse. In their case it is depression. How are you going to address this issue with them? What steps are you going to take to stop playing the game?

(T.A.) Games An example of games “I’m only trying to help you!” “What would you do without me?”

‘Why don’t you/Yes but…’ (T.A.) Games A good example of a game that we are all familiar with is: ‘Why don’t you/Yes but…’

‘Why don’t you/Yes but…’ Friend says: ‘I want to work as a waiter but no one will give me a go.’ You say: ‘Why don’t we ring a few restaurants to see whether they are hiring at the moment.’ Friend says: ‘Yes, but my old collegue rang all the restaurants in town a few months ago and nobody was interested.’

Group Discussion You have a friend who plays the ‘yes but’ game all the time. How are you going to address this issue with them? What steps are you going to take to stop playing the game?

‘Why don’t you/Yes but…’ How to stop the game Stop making suggestions! Review how your sessions with friend progress. Need to change format? Remember, within reason, some approaches are worth giving a second – or third - go

TA: How to use it Be aware of your own ego state as well as the other’s Try and stay in the Adult state Be aware of any Games being played If a Game is being played, find a fresh approach that seeks to engage the Adult in the client

T.A. Final Thoughts Be aware of your own language/posture Keep discussions result focussed Beware going into Parent mode Some attempts at rapport building may become parent-child interactions if you are being unconsciously patronising Stick to the agreed Job Search Plan as much as you can

Thank you