Coral Tree April 07 “Many hands…” or “Too many cooks…”? Working with multiple players to assist one student Peter Krabman Medical Director Coral Tree Family Service April 2007

Coral Tree April 07 Too many cooks.. Triangulation Splitting/ idealising/ devaluing Externalising Collusion Compartmentalisation Sanctioned rejection

Coral Tree April 07 Many hands… Neutrality/ curiosity Circular causality Collaboration Respectful/ constructive triangulation Detoxify, shape and reframe child’s perspective of adult opinions & behaviour

Coral Tree April 07 School, parents and child When it works well: –The gravity of in loco parentis –Mutual respect for differing expertise –Synergistic environments Difficulties –Parental hypercriticism –Parental micromanagement –Parental disengagement –Parents out of the zone

Coral Tree April 07 When relationships with parents are challenging… Impute positive intentionality Think circular causality Be stoic, or socially supported Focus on their need, not yours Work in their zone, with their priorities Respect, listen, consider, but don’t lose your nerve Avoid, or constructively use, triangulation

Coral Tree April 07 Questions and discussion