Motivating Yourself and Others with Paul Clayton.

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Presentation transcript:

Motivating Yourself and Others with Paul Clayton

Motivation takes place with the perception of control.

Motivation stops when we use HAVE TO Gives the perception of non-control

Avoid the words HAVE TO and use. You have a choice. When speaking to others. It would be in my best interest. When dealing with yourself.

Do it Now Thinking causes in activity. Thinking causes in activity. What ever you focus on expands. What ever you focus on expands.

Daily To-Do List Prioritize tasks on your daily list. Prioritize tasks on your daily list. 1 = Top priority items 2 = Important things but dont have to get done today. 3 = Nice if they got done but could be put off indefinitely Number them in order of priority with #1 as most important. Number them in order of priority with #1 as most important. Group Like Things together Group Like Things together

Connected Energy Chart High Negative 1. Angry 2. Fearful 3. Anxious 4. Defensive 5. Resentful Low Negative 1. Depressed 2. Exhausted 3. Burned Out 4. Hopeless 5. Defeated High Positive 1. Invigorated 2. Confident 3. Challenged 4. Joyful 5. Connected Low Positive 1. Relaxed 2. Mellow 3. Peaceful 4. Tranquil 5. Serene

Emotions In order to perform at our best we must access pleasant and positive emotions: enjoyment, challenge, adventure and opportunity. Negative emotions drain you

A few thoughts about Emotions Some emotions are caused by a chemical imbalance in the system. Some emotions are caused by a chemical imbalance in the system. 1. Hormones 2. Drugs 3. Alcohol 4. Other issues e.g. lack of sleep, wrong foods

Where Do Emotions Come From? Who Controls Your Emotions?

Quick Review Your Mind Is The Control Tower Of All You Do. Your Mind Is The Control Tower Of All You Do. Every Word You Use Translates Every Word You Use Translates 1.Into an Action 2.A feeling or emotion 3.Or Both

What is Happiness? Our happiness is the distance between our expectations of ourselves, others and reality. Our happiness is the distance between our expectations of ourselves, others and reality.

Happiness Reality + Belief System (B.S.) = Happiness Level

Happiness Level Reality Above Expectations At Your Expectations Below Your Expectations Very Happy Happy Unhappy Your Happiness is based on your expectations

You have Several Choices Reality Accept the Things you cannot change Change the things you can Try and Change something you cannot change Happy Upset Unhappy Angry

Emotions Situation Belief System Feelings

Our Belief System What we expect or think that we should or must have from reality and ourselves. What we expect or think that we should or must have from reality and ourselves.

Avoids Words SHOULD SHOULD MUST MUST HAVE TO HAVE TO Replace them with Replace them withDesirable

What are your expectations of? Family Family Client Client Children Children Work Work

Negative Emotions THE SITUATION + THE SITUATION + IRRATIONAL THOUGHT = IRRATIONAL THOUGHT = A NEGATIVE FEELING A NEGATIVE FEELING

Anger Or Annoyed Situation Should-Must- Have To Anger Desirable Annoyed

General Irrational Thoughts There must be justice all of the time. There must be justice all of the time. Everyone must be nice to me. Everyone must be nice to me. Things must always go my way. Things must always go my way. Everyone must understand me. Everyone must understand me.

When You Are Upset. Breathe Deeply Breathe Deeply Write Down What Your expectations Were. Write Down What Your expectations Were. Ask Yourself Why People, Places and Things have to follow your expectations. Ask Yourself Why People, Places and Things have to follow your expectations. Accept Accept Renew Renew Grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Stress Stress Takes place in the mind of the beholder. Stress Takes place in the mind of the beholder. Stress does not come from what you are doing but rather you are saying you are doing. Stress does not come from what you are doing but rather you are saying you are doing.

Burnout Lack of positive feed back. Lack of positive feed back. Lack of trying new things. Lack of trying new things. Lack of a purpose greater then the job. Lack of a purpose greater then the job.