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Emotional Intelligence “Become the change that you want to see in the world.” Mohandas Gandhi

We Are About to Explore… We Are About to Explore… What emotional intelligence (EI) is What emotional intelligence (EI) is Why it matters Why it matters The nature of the four, core EI skills The nature of the four, core EI skills The connection between EI & success The connection between EI & success

What is Intelligence? capacities to reason, to plan, to solve problems, to think abstractly, to comprehend ideas, to use language, and to learn capacities to reason, to plan, to solve problems, to think abstractly, to comprehend ideas, to use language, and to learnreasonplansolve problemsabstractlylanguagelearnreasonplansolve problemsabstractlylanguagelearn IQ accounts for 20 – 25 % of career success IQ accounts for 20 – 25 % of career success IQ is fixed at birth IQ is fixed at birth Do you know any highly intelligent people who aren’t socially adept?

Emotional Intelligence - Better Predictor of Career Success Emotional Intelligence - Better Predictor of Career Success The capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships Not in opposition to traditional intelligence Not in opposition to traditional intelligence Emotions are part of rational decision making Emotions are part of rational decision making EI is not fixed at birth EI is not fixed at birth EI is flexible EI is flexible

Basic Emotions Joy Joy Surprise Surprise Sadness Sadness Anger Anger Disgust Disgust Fear Fear

What is EI physically? What is EI physically? EI starts at the spinal cord (primary senses) EI starts at the spinal cord (primary senses) EI travels through the limbic system EI travels through the limbic system EI ends in the rational center of the brain EI ends in the rational center of the brain EI requires effective communication between the rational and emotional centers of the brain EI requires effective communication between the rational and emotional centers of the brain Try to keep this road well traveled Try to keep this road well traveled A blend of reason and feeling A blend of reason and feeling brings the greatest results brings the greatest results Amygdala is deep within the most elemental parts of the brain. The main purpose of the innermost part of the brain is survival.

The four EI skills Personal Competence: Personal Competence: -Self-Awareness -Self-Management (it is about you) (it is about you) Social Competence: Social Competence: - Social Awareness - Relationship Management (it is about you and other people)

to recognize appropriate body cues and emotions to recognize appropriate body cues and emotions to label cues and emotions accurately to label cues and emotions accurately to stay open to unpleasant as well as pleasant emotions to stay open to unpleasant as well as pleasant emotions Includes the capacity for experiencing and recognizing multiple and conflicting emotions Includes the capacity for experiencing and recognizing multiple and conflicting emotions Self-Awareness is the ability:

Self-Management is the ability: to use your self-awareness to stay flexible and act positively to use your self-awareness to stay flexible and act positively to manage your emotional reactions to situations and people to manage your emotional reactions to situations and people We can consciously limit the duration of unpleasant emotions and stay positive We can consciously limit the duration of unpleasant emotions and stay positive Optimism and hope can be learned Optimism and hope can be learned

Social Awareness is the ability: to understand other people’s emotions to understand other people’s emotions to perceive what other people are thinking to perceive what other people are thinking and feeling to consider the perspective of the other party to consider the perspective of the other party

Relationship Management is the ability: to use your awareness of both your own emotions and those of others to manage interactions successfully to use your awareness of both your own emotions and those of others to manage interactions successfully to communicate clearly to communicate clearly to solve conflicts effectively to solve conflicts effectively Solid relationships are the result of how you understand people, how you treat them, and the history you share

Some Gender Differences More willing to compromise social connectedness for independence More willing to compromise social connectedness for independence Not as good as women at this Not as good as women at this Less adept than women overall Less adept than women overall More physiologically overwhelmed by marital conflict More physiologically overwhelmed by marital conflict Greater need for connectedness Greater need for connectedness Have a wider range of emotions Have a wider range of emotions Better at reading emotions Better at reading emotions Better at developing social strategies overall Better at developing social strategies overall Perhaps more engaged in marital conflict Perhaps more engaged in marital conflict

The Importance of Emotional Development We have an emotional epidemic We have an emotional epidemic Only 36 % of people are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen Only 36 % of people are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen Women score higher than men Women score higher than men Emotional awareness is not taught in school Emotional awareness is not taught in school We lack the skills to manage our emotions We lack the skills to manage our emotions - “My way or the highway” - “My way or the highway” Emotional distress affects your health, your relationships and your career Emotional distress affects your health, your relationships and your career

We Need to Learn: Optimism Optimism Hope Hope Understanding Understanding Empathy Empathy Being positive Being positive Being real, not playing “nice” Being real, not playing “nice”

EI Assessment BarOn EQ-i assessment BarOn EQ-i assessment Provides an objective evaluation of your behavior Provides an objective evaluation of your behavior Expends your knowledge of your ability to understand emotions and your tendencies Expends your knowledge of your ability to understand emotions and your tendencies Increases your self-awareness and opens the door for change Increases your self-awareness and opens the door for change

Increasing Your Emotional Intelligence Your brain is plastic Your brain is plastic Train your brain Train your brain We are what we repeatedly do We are what we repeatedly do Practice makes perfect Practice makes perfect

Strategies for Promoting Emotional Intelligence: Recognizing and naming emotions Recognizing and naming emotions Understanding the causes of feelings Understanding the causes of feelings Differentiating between emotion and the need to take action Preventing depression through “learned optimism” Managing anger through distraction techniques Developing listening skills Using “gut feelings” in decision making “Practice what you preach”