Jane Stubberfield Exploring Relationships 3 – Life Positions

By the end of this session you will be able to:  Explain the four life positions  Analyse transactions  Assess the value of these two models in mentoring

 This presentation looks at Transactional Analysis  First developed by Eric Berne in 1957  Much of the presentation is based on Harris, T., (1973), I’m OK – You’re OK, Pan Books

I’m Ok, You’re OK I’m OK, You’re not OK I’m not OK You’re OK I’m not OK, You’re not OK Harris, T. 1975, I’m OK – You’re OK, Pan

 Think of examples of situations you have come across that illustrate each of the four life positions

Parent Adult Child The taught version of life. Behaviour, attitudes and precepts copied from parents and authority figures The thought version of life. The adult works like a computer transforming stimuli into information, processing and storing information on the basis of previous experience. Objectively appraising reality and estimating possibilities and options, operation without emotion The felt version of life. Desires, needs, feelings and behavioural patterns of childhood that come naturally to individuals

Adult CPNP ACFC Critical / Controlling Parent Establishes rules of conduct. Restrains the child. Strong, critical, authoritarian, opinionated, prejudiced, moralistic Adult Logical, rational, reality tester Adapted Child Responding to parental requests, admonitions. Complying, withdrawing, procrastinating, guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, anxious Nurturing Parent Supports and helps others by reassuring and doing things for them. Protective, sympathetic, caring,giving, understanding Adult Assesses Parent and Child data to determine valid information and appropriate feelings and behaviour Free Child Can be happy or disruptive. Uncensored, spontaneous, affectionate, angry, curious, fun- loving, fearful, hurt.

P A C P A C Person 1: I don’t know what the world is coming to. Person 2: You just can’t rely on anyone these days This is a COMPLIMENTARY transaction and these two could go on all day talking like this

P A C P A C Person 1: What are you doing after lunch? Person 2: I’m going to be working on the agenda for the board meeting This is a COMPLIMENTARY transaction

P A C P A C Person 1: Lets see if we can get back at Mary Person 2: Yes, what shall we do, put salt in her tea instead of sugar! This is a COMPLIMENTARY transaction

P A C P A C Person 1: Why haven’t you finished the project you should have done it by now Person 2: Oh for heavens sake, give me a break! This is a COMPLIMENTARY transaction

P A C P A C Person 1: How are you doing with the project? Person 2: Oh for heavens sake, give me a break! Adult to Adult, Child to Parent

P A C P A C Person 1: John, sort out this mess Person 2: What’s up with you, have you forgotten how to use your arms Parent to child, Parent to child

P A C P A C Person 1: How are you doing with the project? Person 2: You should look to your own workload before you start asking me about mine Adult to Adult, Parent to Child

1 Person 1: What are you going to be doing after lunch? Person 2: I’m going to be working on the agenda for the board meeting? 2 Person 1: Lets just go and blow all our wages on some new clothes Person 2: Yes, and we could buy one of those pink feather boas each 3 Person 1: I would like to leave at 4.00pm to catch my train because of the train strike. Person 2: What do you think would happen if I let everyone always finish early? 4 Person 1: You certainly know how to mess things up Person 2: I’m sorry Are the following transactions complimentary or crossed?

 How could you use this model of transactions in mentoring?

 Adult to Adult – complimentary  Child to Child – complimentary  Adult to Adult – Parent to Child – crossed  Parent to Child – Child to Parent - complimentary

Berne, E., (1964) Games People Play: the Psychology of Human Relations (1978 reprint, Grove Press). Harris, T., (1973), I’m OK – You’re OK, Pan Books

This resource was created by the University of Plymouth, Learning from WOeRk project. This project is funded by HEFCE as part of the HEA/JISC OER release programme.Learning from WOeRk This resource is licensed under the terms of the Attribution-Non-Commercial-Share Alike 2.0 UK: England & Wales license ( The resource, where specified below, contains other 3 rd party materials under their own licenses. The licenses and attributions are outlined below: 1.The name of the University of Plymouth and its logos are unregistered trade marks of the University. The University reserves all rights to these items beyond their inclusion in these CC resources. 2.The JISC logo, the and the logo of the Higher Education Academy are licensed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution -non-commercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 UK England & Wales license. All reproductions must comply with the terms of that license. Author Jane Stubberfield InstituteUniversity of Plymouth Title Relationships 3: life positions Description Presentation – life positions Date Created 06/06/2011 Educational Level 7, Masters Keywords Mentoring, learning, development, coaching, training, advising, UKOER, LFWOER, Mentoring, learning, development, coaching, training, advising Back page originally developed by the OER phase 1 C-Change project ©University of Plymouth, 2010, some rights reserved