Running a discussion in lodge Mentoring for Mentors Running a discussion in lodge

By the end of this session we will have: Examined the process of running a discussion and what it involves Identified potential difficulties and their solutions Defined your role Agreed a framework to complete the task in hand Had a go! ©WBro Martin Roche

‘Discussion’ An opportunity for individuals to give open, equal and personal responses to anything that needs interpretation. A common search for meaning that exposes ambiguities and differences ©WBro Martin Roche

‘Facilitation’ “To make easy” Its purpose: No one person has all the power in the group No one person has all the answers People ‘own’ their opinions (respect & tolerance) ©WBro Martin Roche

What it is … and is not! It isn’t about: It must be about: Chairing a meeting … and you being the focus ‘Being in charge’ Running group therapy! It must be about: You asking the initial questions Leading them to ask questions of each other, which requires that They do most of the talking THEY REACH A CONCLUSION ©WBro Martin Roche

You doing all the talking is easy Listening is difficult The pitfalls: You doing all the talking is easy Listening is difficult Not interrupting is unbearable! © WBro Martin Roche

What we must not do: Take sides Give personal opinions – rhetorical/leading questions Provide answers to their issues – advice in disguise! Constantly talk in anecdotes (‘… well, when I was …’) Allow ‘ping-pong’ exchanges between two participants Be THE expert © WBro Martin Roche

What we must do: Emphasise our role and keep reminding them Create trust and maintain respect Involve everyone Remain positive Value contributions (‘thank you for that …’) Keep calm – you and them © WBro Martin Roche

What we must do: Keep questions open – those that start with: who, what, where, when, why, how (5WH) and also: Tell me about … Explain for me … Describe to me … Provide constant affirmation (‘That’s an interesting point … what does everybody else think?’) Maintain a party line © WBro Martin Roche

Keep the conversation moving in the right direction; therefore, What we must do: Keep the conversation moving in the right direction; therefore, Be prepared to remind them of the question/point in hand Summarise frequently – it aids consensus Make progress and reach outcomes © WBro Martin Roche

Good examples of phrases using open questions: We’ve just covered an awful lot of issues – can somebody summarise the things we have discussed? What do you all think about what … has just said? Who else feels/thinks that? What would you do in that situation? © WBro Martin Roche

Good examples of phrases using open questions: Why did you become a mason? How would you introduce a potential member to your lodge? Where would you go to find out? What’s your view on that? What type of person makes a good mason? © WBro Martin Roche

And some of the simplest questions are the hardest … Such as … Are you a better person for being a mason? If so, how? If not, why? © WBro Martin Roche

Remember: Some people may be on a mission in these meetings – and it may not be the same as ours! This may be the first opportunity some members have ever had to express an opinion on anything – never mind Masonic issues Maintaining control of the proceedings is essential – but too much control can become manipulation Assist them to reach conclusions – but do not impose them © WBro Martin Roche

Remember: Summaries must be an accurate representation of their deliberations and not a mixture of your opinions and what you wish they had said! There are not always right and wrong answers – but there can still be consensus and acceptance of differences It’s good when we admit our mistakes – but we are sometimes not very good in the way we point out other peoples © WBro Martin Roche

Remember: Masonry has to learn from its mistakes – part of which is moving on from them We don’t need to know all the answers – but we need to be able to recognise them when they appear We all need to know what achievement … the outcome … looks like (VERY important) The most powerful and meaningful questions are the shortest ones © WBro Martin Roche

EXERCISE … or time to have a go! Mentoring for Mentors EXERCISE … or time to have a go!

Purpose of the exercise To come up with a consensus about what freemasonry means to you us a group Whilst doing this we will look at the process as well as the question The intent is to illustrate how to run this yourself ©WBro Martin Roche

Exercise What does freemasonry mean to you? As an individual and in your lodge Not the allegorical stuff One word answers only! Real words that you understand in everyday language and that a layman will. Think about how you would (or do) describe it to a prospective member AND their wife/partner? Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever tried? © WBro Martin Roche

It may also encompass… Why are you a mason? Why have you stayed a mason of your lodge? What makes your masonry fun? And what doesn’t! Is there anything you need to know so that you are a better informed Mason? Does any body else in your lodge have ‘the answers’? If not, where will you get the answers? © WBro Martin Roche

Finally In doing the exercise, contributions will be recorded on a flip chart Reason? Keep them on track Keep you on track! Aid discussion Ensure progress Reach a conclusion and have a ‘product’ to go away with © WBro Martin Roche

What does Freemasonry mean to you? Question What does Freemasonry mean to you?

Having gone through the exercise … What have we achieved? The aim is that participants will now be more confident to discuss THEIR masonry with: A member of their lodge? A friend? A member of their family? A colleague? A potential new member? Could you run this exercise (address this question) in a lodge? © WBro Martin Roche

Having gone through the exercise … Turn their deliberations into a list of the top ten words that summarise what they as a group think masonry is Without realising it they have a prompt which encompasses what Masonry is to them and a menu/agenda to describe it to somebody else! © WBro Martin Roche

What will you take away from this session? And the big question… What will you take away from this session?

Running a discussion in lodge Mentoring for Mentors Running a discussion in lodge