Primary National Strategy ‘No Way!’: an interactive text to support the development of children’s social, emotional and behavioural skills. VIEW this SLIDE SHOW to activate it. (Open the SLIDE SHOW menu and select VIEW SHOW, or press F5.) You can click on screen to move about the text once the show is running. Use ESCAPE to QUIT the slide show and return to EDIT mode. begin The names, characters and situations in this scenario are entirely fictitious. We are grateful to the headteacher, staff and children of the primary school who helped us by playing the parts and enacting the scenes for the camera.

NO WAY !

What happened? Who was involved? What happened afterwards?What happened before? How did it end?

Dane and Kim were walking home together talking about a TV programme. A few other kids were walking a bit behind. Suddenly Luke and Delvin appeared, with Karl just behind them. The other kids stopped to watch. Dane looked worried and muttered to Kim, ‘Oh no, not again.’ He tried to walk past with his eyes down. Luke and Delvin blocked his way, with Karl behind them. They started shouting insults at him, getting worse and worse.

Then Kim spoke up. ‘Listen – he just wants to go home. You know there isn’t another way.’ Karl raised an eyebrow and Luke turned on Kim. ‘What’s it got to do with you, Chinky?’ Delvin looked down. Kim kept amazingly cool. ‘I want to go home too – so just let us past.’ ‘Ooooooh. And why would I want to let a couple of mummy’s boys come near me?’

Some of the children who had stopped to watch the show were laughing, some smiling nervously. A couple shook their heads and muttered while others moved on as if nothing was happening. Luke and Delvin rolled Dane over and pulled both his trainers off. Then they threw them to each other, laughing, smelled them and pulled faces. They ran off giving each other high-fives. ‘More fun tomorrow then, Karl?’ said Delvin. ‘We’ll see,’ said Karl, smiling to himself. Click here to see what they're thinking and feeling.

What are they thinking and feeling?

This is a laugh. Luke and Delvin will do anything I say. good, powerful, excited

I like this. Nothing gives me quite the same feeling of being in control as this. I can make him do whatever I say. If my dad and brother could see me now they would know I’m better than they think. powerful, proud of myself

I hope there’s a fight. I’m ready to show them how strong I am. Why should he have everything anyway? Look at those trainers – just because he’s well off. I want them. It’s good to feel part of this lot. Perhaps they will stop picking on me now. I don’t really like it when they start on the ‘Chinky’ routine though. strong, accepted, but confused about how to respond to Luke’s racist language

Why are they doing this to me? I wish I’d never come here. I wish I could fit in. I just want to be the same as everyone else. miserable, sick, feeble, humiliated

Look at them, thinking they’re so great. None of them would stand up to me on their own. Poor Dane. Why do they pick on him? If I hang around with Dane will they start on me? Better look friendly and then maybe they’ll let us past. angry, outraged, sorry for Dane, frustrated, powerless, uncertain

Who was involved? Karl KimDane Luke Delvin

Karl Karl is a popular boy and a natural leader. He is clever and knows exactly how to manipulate others to get them to do what he wants. This makes him very powerful. He never gets into trouble because he always gets other people to do things rather than doing them himself. He lives on the local estate. His family are quite well off and well thought of. Teachers like him and think he is sensible. He has never been caught bullying.

Luke is not very popular. Both his dad and his older brother push him around a lot. His mum is not at home. He has a very caring side and tries to look out for his little sister who is at nursery. He often feels angry and frustrated and gets into a lot of trouble at school. He does sometimes bully others and enjoys the feeling of power he gets from it. He doesn’t really care who the target is – in that sense it is nothing personal. Luke

Delvin is small for his age but physically quite strong. His dad has just lost his job and the family don’t have much money. He is jealous of Dane who has more. He likes fighting which makes him feel good. He wants to be in with Karl, and sometimes he is included, but sometimes not, depending on how Karl is feeling. Sometimes the others make fun of him, which he tries to laugh off. If others have things that he doesn’t, he feels that they are showing off and ‘asking for it’. Delvin

Dane’s family have recently moved into the district, because his mum has got a new job. They live off the estate in an area known as the ‘posh’ bit of town. Dane is clever and has always done reasonably well at school. He is good at sports. There is nothing obviously different about him. He has always been happy, if rather quiet. He got on well with a small group of friends before he moved house. Dane

Kim is a generally happy boy, well liked by children and adults. He has a good number of friends from different backgrounds. His family live on the estate and are well thought of. He considers himself lucky. He has been called names a bit in the past, so he knows how it feels to be bullied, but his supportive family have always listened to him and helped him deal with it. He has a good understanding of why people might bully and on the whole feels sorry for those who do. Kim

Karl, Luke and Delvin What happened before? Dane and Kim

Delvin was just leaving when Karl called to him from the cloakroom where he was larking around with Luke. ‘Hey, Delvin, up for a bit of fun tonight?’ Delvin was surprised that Karl seemed to be including him. ‘Sure. What’s on?’ Karl outlined his plan to give Dane a hard time on the way home. Luke and Delvin laughed. Luke was all for it, and said it would get Dane going if they made fun of his snobby mother, because he was such a mummy’s boy. Delvin suggested taking Dane’s new trainers off him. ‘He always has the best of everything. It’ll do him good to have a bit of rough and tumble.’ Karl seemed pleased and rewarded them both with a smile.

I’m a bit bored … What can we do for a laugh? I’ll see if I can get Luke to do everything I say – and that Delvin as well. We’ll take the rise out of that new kid. That’ll be a bit of fun. bored, frustrated, wanting to feel big

My dad and brother have been really pushing me around. I can’t get my own back on them – so why not on somebody else? I’ll show them. Who is this Dane kid anyway? What do I care about him? angry, frustrated

I really want to be in with Karl and Luke. I hope there’s a fight. I’m good at that and it will make them see what a useful mate I can be. I don’t see why other kids should have stuff I don’t. Why shouldn’t I take it off them? unsure of himself, envious, afraid of being left out

At lunchtime in the playground Dane asks Kim if they can walk home together. Kim agrees without asking why.

Why do they pick on me? What’s wrong with me? I wish I had a friend, but nobody wants to be mates with a loser who gets picked on. I just don’t belong here. Maybe it won’t happen if I can get Kim to walk home with me. They never seem to bother him. sick, dreading what I think will happen, humiliated, ashamed

I know why he doesn’t want to walk home on his own. I know what’s happening. Why doesn’t he say anything? Karl’s lot are stupid. They don’t bother me. Maybe I can help Dane. confident, hopeful, sorry for Dane, angry at Karl

What happened afterwards? The class Dane

Dane didn’t come to school for the next three days. Kim told the rest of the class what had happened and said they needed to discuss what to do. They held a meeting. All the children had ideas about what should happen. There was a lot of discussion and debate. What ideas did the class have? What did they decide to do?

‘Dane should go to karate so he can fight back if it happens again.’ ‘You shouldn’t fight back but you should stand up to bullies. Dane should learn how to stand up for himself.’ ‘He should think: sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.’ ‘One of the people who just stood and watched should have rescued him.’ ‘He should tell the teacher and the bully should be excluded from school.’

‘He should just laugh at himself with them.’ ‘We should tell the teacher so she can talk to the bullies and make them understand how it feels.’ ‘He should tell the bullies how it makes him feel.’ ‘We should be kind to him – even if we can’t stop the bullying. One of us could be his friend.’ ‘People who see bullying shouldn’t put up with it.’

This is the plan they agreed. Kim will be Dane’s friend and the others will all support him. The next time any of them sees bullying they will tell the people who are bullying that they do not like what they are doing and that they will tell the teachers if it happens again.

His mum wanted to go up to school and tell the teachers. Dane said no. He promised to go to school next day as long as she didn’t go up there herself. Dane eventually decided to tell his parents what happened. His dad told him to ‘stand up to them’ and suggested some things he could say. Dane had time off school. He said he was sick. His parents were worried about him. They didn’t understand why he had changed so much since they moved.

I don’t want to tell Mum and Dad. They will be upset. It might make it worse. They will think I’m pathetic and that there is something wrong with me. It’s too embarrassing to tell anyone about the things they have made me do. Kim won’t want to hang around with me any more now he’s seen how weak I am. No one will want to be friends with a pathetic loser like me. ashamed, embarrassed

I am so grateful to Dad for trying, but I know I won’t do it. I wish I was one of those tough boys who could - but I’m just not that sort of person. I tried before and they just laughed at me. It made it worse and I felt even more of a failure. I couldn’t even manage to stand up for myself. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I stop it happening? But then if I could stand up to them it wouldn’t be happening, would it? Nobody understands what it is like… scared, guilty, ashamed, miserable

This the worst thing of all. If Mum goes up to school they’ll find out. They really will think I’m a mummy’s boy then. If they're punished they’ll take it out on me and it will be worse than ever. sick, dreading what I think will happen, humiliated, ashamed

Do not continue until you have found out all you can about what happened. Continue Go back to find out more

How did it end?

Dane was pleased when he arrived back at school to find Kim asking him to sit next to him. Some of the other children in his class, including one of the ones who had stood by and watched, were quite friendly too. As the day went on he felt a little better, but as home time approached, the old fear returned. He had seen Karl, Delvin and Luke whispering in corners and he knew what that meant. He set off home, and was pleased when several of the class arranged to walk home with him. As they got near the park Luke and Delvin jumped out, with Karl, as always, behind them. All the other children stopped too and looked directly at the kids who were bullying. Kim said, ‘We want to walk past and we all have a right to….’ Karl looked surprised. ‘No one’s stopping YOU, are they?’ But they didn’t move. One of the others said, ‘We don’t like what you’re doing - and we are going to tell the school and your parents if you do it again.’ To the jeers of Luke and Delvin, they walked past, Dane in the middle of the group, holding his breath – but they didn’t stop him.

It would be nice to think that that was the end. But of course real life isn’t like that. Dane did still get bullied and there wasn’t always a group to support him. In fact sometimes the actual bullying was physically worse – they jumped on him once and he ended up with some bruises. But somehow it didn’t feel worse inside to Dane – he had Kim as his friend. He knew that the whole class thought that he was OK and that it was the children who had bullied him who weren’t. He didn’t seem to have that sick feeling about how he wasn’t good enough all the time any more.

In the end what stopped it was after Dane ended up with bruises. A group told the headteacher. The head must have said or done something because Karl came up to Dane in the playground the next day and just stuck his hand out! He never said sorry or anything (not really his style) but the bullying stopped from then on. Years later, Dane met Karl again when they were both members at the same local football club. Karl said he had just never realised how much it affected Dane until the headteacher had told him the full story. As Karl was going, he mumbled something that could well have been ‘Sorry.’

What do you think? How would you feel?