Consent is Sexy Bulletin Board & Educational Program Idea Source: sexualassault.wsu.edu Submitted by: Jonathan Scott Resident Advisor Washington State University

Consent is Sexy

What is Sexual Consent? Consent means at the time of the act there are actual, very clear, words or physical conduct indicating freely given agreement to have sexual intercourse or contact. Obtaining consent is an ongoing process of mutual communication as sex progresses, regardless of who initiates it.

Consent is Continuous Consent is ongoing communication. It occurs continuously and moment to moment. Receiving an indication of interest early in the evening is not an open invitation for any sexual contact later. Each person should be communicating consent clearly and effectively either verbally or physically.

The Nice Way to Say No Remember to be N.I.C.E. N: Say “NO”, not “maybe” or “later”. Be decisive so that your partner knows exactly how you feel. I: Use an “I” statement to explain. One example would be “I am not ready to have sex right now”. C: If the pressure continues, change the subject. Ask if your partner saw the game on TV last night, or say you have to make a phone call. E: Have an exit strategy. If you realize you are in a bad situation. Leave immediately.

Guidelines for Consent Both people are fully conscious. When sexual activity involves use of alcohol or drugs consent may not actually be given by one or both partners. Ask yourself, “Is she/he interested or intoxicated?” Both people are free to act without the presence of power differentials or environmental factors (i.e. having to walk home, differences in size and strength, coercion, or position of power/authority).

Guidelines Continued Both people have clearly communicated their intent. A lack of “no” or non-resistance does not equal consent. Clear verbal consent is always best because it is harder to misunderstand than physical signs. Both people are honest and sincere in their desires. Don’t intentionally tempt your partner into sex, that’s not sincere and honest and they may feel like they were taken advantage of afterward.

10 Good Reasons to Get Consent Many partners find it sexy that their partner respects them enough to ask. Sex is better when each partner enjoys what is happening and no one is being forced to do something they don’t want to do. Mutual respect (shown by asking for consent) is the best basis for friendship and intimacy. It prevents misunderstanding and hard feelings. (Silence is not a yes).

Forcing sexual activity violates many state and federal laws as well as the WSU code of student conduct. Unwanted touching and fondling is also considered sexual assault. You won’t be accused of rape. You won’t go to jail. It’s better to be safe than sorry. Imposing your sexual will on someone is not a healthy relationship and is not intimacy. Why would you want to have sex with someone who doesn’t like it?

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