When your child is being bullied… Bully Prevention For Parents Britne Stanke & Erin Doede School Counselors

Welcome SFMS Parents  Introductions  Pair and Share:  What have your experiences with bullying been?  What brought you to this presentation tonight and what is one thing that you are hoping to gain from attending?

“Bullying” Defined….  Bullying is a form of violence that hurts others. School bullying happens at school or during school-sponsored activities when a student or group of students intentionally and repeatedly uses their power to hurt other individuals or groups.  Bullies’ power can come from their physical strength, age, financial status, popularity, social status, technology skills, or by association (the people they know, who they hang out with, who their family is). o 2006 National School Safety Center

Differentiating Bullying from Normal Peer Conflict/Mean Behavior Normal conflict/mean behavior  Equal power or are friends  Happens occasionally  Accidental  Not serious  Equal emotional reaction  Not seeking power  Remorse-will take responsibility  Effort to solve the problem Bullying  Imbalance of power  Repeated negative actions  Intentional  Physical or emotional harm  Unequal emotional reaction  Seeking control/material things  No remorse-blames target  No effort to solve the problem

Contributing Factors Associated with Bullying Family Factors  Lack of attention and warmth  Modeling of aggressive behavior at home  Poor supervision Individual Factors  Active, impulsive personality  Lack of empathy for others  Craves attention and approval from others School  School climate is perceived as uncaring or indifferent  Teachers/staff unaware or unclear of bullying definitions or how to respond

What To Do if you suspect your child is being bullied  Talk with your child  If your child is being bullied, they need to have a voice in how the situation is handled.  Contact the school  Set up a meeting with your child’s teacher(s) or counselor.  Consider including the school resource officer if applicable.  Develop a plan for keeping your child safe, particularly during vulnerable times (class breaks, lunch, recess).  Find out what activities or counseling options are available for your child.  Contact police or school resource officer…  If the actions are criminal (assault, theft, serious threats, vandalism)

Recommendations if you suspect your child is being bullied  Don’t encourage your child to fight back--two wrongs don’t make a right!  Listen to your child, do not ignore your child’s plea for help.  Don’t confront the parents or the other child directly.  Avoid bringing your child and the bully together to elicit an apology or resolve the issue.

What To Do if you suspect your child may be bullying others  Talk with your child  Never condone bullying behavior; speak up and tell your child that the behavior they are engaging in is considered bullying.  Encourage empathy for others  Remind your child that everyone has a right to be themselves, to choose their own friends and to feel safe at school.  Review consequences of bullying behavior  Both discipline consequences  Reinforce respectful behaviors at home  Help your child deal with feelings in positive ways  Contact the school for help  Set up a meeting with your child’s teacher(s) or counselor.  Develop a plan for change.

“Cyber Bullying” Defined…  “Cyber Bullying” is bullying or harassment that happens online.  It can happen in an , a text message, an online game, or comments on a social networking site.  It might involve rumors or images posted on someone’s profile or passed around for others to see, or creating a group or page to make another person feel left out. “  Source: NET CETERA

Differences Bullying  DIRECT  Occurs on school property  Poor relationships with teachers  Fear retribution Physical: Hitting, Punching & Shoving Verbal: Teasing, Name calling & Gossip Nonverbal: Use of gestures & Exclusion Cyber Bullying  ANONYMOUS  Occurs off school property  Good relationships with teachers  Fear loss of technology privileges  Further under the radar than bullying  Emotional reactions cannot be determined McKenna & Bargh, 2004; Ybarra & Mitchell, 2004}

School Interventions/ Consequences for Bullying Warning  Verbal and written  Permanently documented School-wide Intervention Strategies  Tribes Philosophy, Above the Line/Below the Line, Differentiation, Goal Setting and Reflection, Flexible Grouping, Counseling Services and Supports Suspension/Expulsion Referral to Law Enforcement (if applicable)

How to report… Report bullying incidents involving your child on BIRTS (Bullying Incident and Response Tracking Software) now available on SFMS’s homepage.

Feedback What deciding factors brought you to this program? A) Concerns about my child being a victim of bullying B) Concerns that my child is a bully C) Information and resources on how to handle bullying involving my child D) A and B E) All of the above

Feedback What information did you feel was most helpful for you as a parent? A) Resources for you to use B) Recommendations for how to handle bullying situations involving your child C) Information of how you can work with SFMS D) All of the above

Feedback How helpful was this program for you as a parent? A) Not at all B) It helped me a little C) It was somewhat helpful D) It helped me a lot

Feedback  Do you feel satisfied with the strategies and programs that this school is using to prevent and manage bullying and create a respectful and safe school environment?  A) Yes  B) Maybe  C) No  D) I don’t know

Questions, Comments, Concerns? School Counselors Britne Stanke Grades 3-5 & 4K Erin Doede Grades 6-8 Elementary School Phone Middle School Phone