Assisting Others In Breaking The Cycle Paul Mavrogeorge M. A. LMFT Mavrogeorge Consulting With input from Alan H. Siggelkow, MSW

Repentance Model 1. Listen Give the courage to confess 2. Speak Specific Law 3. Listen to contrition 4. Speak the Gospel 5. Speak Absolution *6. Fruits of Repentance* Speak the Law as a Guide Motivate with the Gospel Deal with changes and tools to help overcome addiction problems A process of Sanctification

All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A. Key Points Addiction Paradigm Common Beliefs Treatment Stages Intervention : Breaking the Cycle Application of the model…cases? All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A.

All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A. Addiction Paradigm Addiction is a unhealthy attachment to objects, behaviors, or people The purpose of this attachment is to bring temporary comfort or security during a period of deprivation Individuals will attach to unhealthy object in order to avoid the pain of emotional deprivation All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A.

How we think and the shame that binds us! Common Beliefs How we think and the shame that binds us!

All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A. Belief System Self-image—I am a flawed and unworthy person. Relationships: If people knew me, they wouldn’t love me. Needs: They will never be met if I have to count on others. Hurts, habits, and hang-ups: ______ is my most important need. All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A.

INTERVENTIONS BREAKING THE CYCLE Original Material by Paul Mavrogeorge Adapted by Alan Siggelkow Here and following I think you are talking about the continuing struggle: Romans 7 – Old Man vs. New Man

Acting Out Cycle Unhealthy Functioning Triggers Outcomes Ongoing Susceptibilities Outcomes

Acting Out Cycle Unhealthy Functioning Triggers Outcomes Ongoing Susceptibilities Outcomes

Ongoing Susceptibilities Childhood abuse (sexual, physical, emotional) Emotionally rigid or detached family Development of shame based thinking through childhood Negative core beliefs about oneself and relationships Unhealthy attachment All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A.

Ongoing Susceptibilities Core beliefs I am unworthy If you really knew me, you would not love me No one will care for my needs but me These are areas that will be addressed in therapy

Acting Out Cycle Unhealthy Functioning Triggers Outcomes Ongoing Susceptibilities Outcomes

Unhealthy Functioning H.A.L.T violated (Hungry-Angry-Lonely-Tired) Depression/Anxiety increase “Ongoing Susceptibilities” are touched Intense anxiety leads to the desire for relief Reason and sanity begin to decrease “All or nothing” thinking styles STINKING THINKING All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A.

Unhealthy Functioning Help them identify behavior patterns that are unhealthy Identify the behaviors that contribute to their pattern Identify their key warning signs Thoughts Feelings Physical responses Behaviors

Unhealthy Functioning What are the lifestyle choices that contribute to their unhealthy functioning Identify the key choices that must happen to move out of unhealthy functioning

Acting Out Cycle Unhealthy Functioning Triggers Outcomes Ongoing Susceptibilities Outcomes

All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A. Triggers People Places Things Stimulus “The pull to act out” All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A.

Triggers What are the specific things that activate their desire to engage in their destructive behavior Indicators Thoughts Feelings Actions Physical Reactions

Acting Out Cycle Unhealthy Functioning Triggers Outcomes Ongoing Susceptibilities Outcomes

All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A. Acting Out Begins with ongoing thinking of acting out Behavior spirals out of control (Engage in acting out behaviors) May involve: Behaviors that are unhelpful and must be stopped to avoid acting out Behaviors that individual said they would not do again Behaviors that could cause one to lose a job or primary relationship Behaviors that risk physical safety All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A.

Acting Out Assist individual in identifying when thinking starts Key questions When did the thoughts first enter your mind Identify their key warning signs Thoughts Feelings Physical responses Behaviors

Acting Out Understanding the intensity is critical Green Light Thoughts are normal Yellow Light Thoughts have started Drifting into dangerous territory Now is the time to reach out Red Light Obsessive thinking Locked onto obtaining relief May require external intervention

Acting Out Cycle Unhealthy Functioning Triggers Outcomes Ongoing Susceptibilities Outcomes

All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A. Outcomes Positive Short term gain Pay-off for the use Must be identified Negative Long term impact Counting the cost Spiritually Earthly Add: Counting the cost – earthly; counting the cost -- spiritually All written material copyright@ Paul Mavrogeorge M.A.

Outcomes Identification of the payoff is critical The short term gain is what can drive them In many cases the payoffs meets a deeper need Identify their key responses Thoughts Feelings Physical responses Behaviors

Acting Out Cycle Unhealthy Functioning Probably need to refer to a Triggers Ongoing Susceptibilities Outcomes Probably need to refer to a Mental Health Professional Fruits of Repentance Fruits of Repentance Gospel Law Start