25 February 2010 SB faith House Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership "If a ruler listens to lies, all his officials become wicked. " (Proverbs 29: 12) 25 February 2010 SB faith House

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25 February 2010 SB faith House Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership "If a ruler listens to lies, all his officials become wicked. " (Proverbs 29: 12) 25 February 2010 SB faith House

Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving oneself to be unloved, inadequate or worthless. A person who is insecure lacks confidence in their own value and capability, lacks trust in themselves or others, or has fears that a present positive state is temporary and will let them down and cause them loss or distress by "going wrong" in the future.

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior COMPARISON You begin to compare yourself to others… Matthew 20: The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Comparison Danger: You ignore the unique role you and others are to play on the team John 21:21-22 (NIV) 21 When Peter saw him, he asked, Lord, what about him?     22 Jesus answered, If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior COMPENSATION You feel like a victim, and must compensate for your inferiority… Genesis 27: Jacob Gets Isaac's Blessing Genesis 32: Jacob Prepares to Meet Esau

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior COMPENSATION Danger: You fail to trust God's control by taking matters into our own hands Psalm 37:1-8 (NIV) 1 Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; 2 for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.3Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: 6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. 7Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 8Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret— it leads only to evil.

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior COMPETITION You drift into self-centered patterns, trying to out-perform others Luke 15: 11-32 The Parable of the Lost Son

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior COMPETITION Danger: You become obsessed with building your own kingdom, and you will do anything to win. Galatians 6:4-5 (NIV) 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load.

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior COMPULSION You are driven to gain others‘ approval; you are a people- pleaser. Luke 10:38-42 : At the Home of Martha and Mary

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior COMPULSION Danger: You risk burnout due to impure motives and unrealistic expectations. 1 Corinthians 15:10 (NIV) 10But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior CONDEMNATION The judgmental attitude of yourself or others 1 Kings 19 : Elijah Flees to Horeb

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior CONDEMNATION Danger: The distortion of reality and the temptation to withdraw from responsibility. 1 Corinthians 4:3-5 (NIV) 3I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. 4My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. 5Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior CONTROL In order to validate your own worth, you feel you must take charge. Genesis 16: Hagar and Ishmael

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior CONTROL Danger: You think win/lose, not win/win. Because you are charting your own course, you risk integrity, protect personal "turf" and often slip into the "scarcity paradigm.“ Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIV) 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior WE MUST KNOW THE TRUTH AND CLING TO WHAT IS TRUE John 8:32 (NIV) 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior STEPPING INTO THE TRUTH Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior STEPPING INTO THE TRUTH DETERMINE THE TRIGGER EVENT THAT FOSTERED THE LIE/BONDAGE. A- Antecedent (Event) B- Belief (Self-talk) C- Consequences (Emotional reaction to the self-talk) D- Dispute (Truthful self-talk) E- Effect (Emotional reaction after truthful self-talk)

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior STEPPING INTO THE TRUTH Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior STEPPING INTO THE TRUTH DISCOVER THE LIE YOU HAVE BELIEVED ABOUT THAT SITUATION SELF-LIES WORLDLY LIES MARITAL LIES DISTORTION LIES RELIGIOUS LIES -God's love must be earned -God hates the sin and the sinner -Because I am a Christian, God will protect me from pain and suffering -All my problems are caused by my sins -It is my Christian duty to meet all the needs of others -A good Christian does not feel angry, anxious, or depressed -God can't use me unless I'm spiritually strong

Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior STEPPING INTO THE TRUTH DECIDE WHAT RESPONSE IS TRUTHFUL, APPROPRIATE AND REALISTIC. Lies produce emotional misery Truth produces emotional health

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior TIPS and TRUTHS 1. We must never put our emotional health in the hands of someone else. 2. The truth is a requirement for spiritual and emotional health. 3. Most of our unhappiness and insecurity is the result of lies we believe. 4. Recognize that you will believe what you want to believe. 5. The truth can be eclipsed by a thrilling lie. 6. Remember that hurting people naturally hurt people; intimidated people intimidate.

Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Keys to Emotional Security Security or Sabotage: How Emotional Insecurity Prevents Effective Leadership Spotting Insecurity in Your Behavior Keys to Emotional Security Identity 2. Brokenness 3. Purpose 4. Giving and Receiving the Blessings

Let us Pray God bless us all!