Exercise 10

No.1  (Worse) While the GA method searches along the contour of the optimized function, it makes no assumption about the problem space.  (Better 1) While searching along the contour of the optimized function, the GA method does not make an assumption about the problem space.

No.2  (Worse) The proposed technique is similar to industrial control charts, which makes it easily understood by the practitioner.  (Better 1) The proposed technique ’ s similarity to industrial control charts makes it easily understood by the practitioner.

No.2 (cont.)  (Better 2) The proposed technique is similar to industrial control charts, making it easily understood by the practitioner.  (Better 3) The fact that the proposed technique is similarity to industrial control charts makes it easily understood by the practitioner.

[Note 3.12]  Depending on the sentence ’ s intended meaning, resembles can be used as an alternatives to is similar when the Chinese meaning is 類似.

No.3  (Worse) Conventional approaches for analyzing censored data are computationally complicated and often difficult to explain to practitioners. That explains why this work presents an effective procedure based on the rank transformation of the responses.  (Better) Conventional approaches for analyzing censored data are computationally complicated and often difficult to explain to practitioners. Therefore, this work presents an effective procedure based on the rank transformation of the responses.

No.4  (Worse) In Taiwan ’ s semiconductor industry, they are applying state-of-the-art technologies in view of the fact that the island has a highly skilled labor force.  (Better) Engineers in Taiwan ’ s semiconductor industry are applying state-of-the-art technologies in view of the fact that the island has a highly skilled labor force.

[Note 3.13]  Avoid wordiness by saying because or since as alternatives to in view of the fact that.

No.5  (Worse) Increasing parameter K increases the optimal ordering quantity. This affects the total system cost as well.  (Better 1) Increasing parameter K increases the optimal ordering quantity. This increase affects the total system cost as well.

No.5 (cont.)  (Better 2) In addition to increasing the optimal order quantity, increasing parameter K affects the total system cost as well.

[Note 3.14]  Depending on the sentence ’ s intended meaning, impacts or influences can be used as alternatives to affects when the Chinese meaning is 影響.

No.6  (Worse) The optimal ordering quantity increases, which increases the total system cost.  (Better 1) The optimal ordering quantity increases, thereby increasing the total system cost..  (Better 2) Increasing the optimal ordering quantity increases the total system cost.

No.7  (Worse) The conveyor belt transports the machine part to assembly line, where it proceeds to the workstation.  (Better) After transporting the machine part to assembly line, The conveyor belt proceeds to the workstation.

No.8  (Worse) Taguchi ’ s two-step procedure can identify optimal settings of the design factors. which minimizes the expected quadratic loss when the following condition are met.  (Better) Taguchi ’ s two-step procedure can identify optimal settings of the design factors thereby minimizing the expected quadratic loss when the following condition are met.

[Note 3.15]  Depending on the sentence ’ s context, satisfy, fulfill or adhere to can be used as alternatives to meet when the Chinese meaning is 滿足.

No.9  (Worse) In addition to the proposed procedure considering the variability of the control factors, it can concurrently perform censored data analysis for replicated and unreplicated experiments.  (Better) In addition to considering the variability of the control factors, the proposed procedure can concurrently perform censored data analysis for replicated and unreplicated experiments.

No.10  (Worse) The showed in an earlier investigation [4] that the turned parts on CNC lathes have continuous forms.  (Better) An earlier investigation [4] showed that the turned parts on CNC lathes have continuous forms.

[Note 3.16]  Depending on the sentence ’ s context, demonstrate, verify, confirm, indicate or reveal can be used as an alternatives to show when the Chinese meaning is 指出.

No.11  (Worse) They stated in their report the manner in which changes should be made.  (Better) Their report stated the manner in which changes should be made.

[Note 3.17]  Avoid wordiness by saying how instead of the manner in which.

No.12  (Worse) The graduate student reported to the academic advisor that his experiment were almost finished.  (Better) The graduate student reported to the academic advisor, “ My experiment are almost finished. ”

[Note 3.18]  The revised sentence specifies whose experiments are almost finished, the graduate student ’ s not the academic advisor ’ s.