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Cleaning Up Your Research Essay! Cleaning Up Your Research Essay!

It’s time to clean up any sloppy phrasing in your paper!

Sweep up unnecessary words.  In this day and age in which we live  Today  In order to understand  To understand  Researchers began to discover  Researchers discovered  Tuna start to migrate  Tuna migrate  Plaque proceeds to clog the arteries  Plaque clogs the arteries

Vacuum up “word dirt.”  A multitude of  many  A plethora of  many  An immense number of  many  A great deal of  many  many  A myriad of  many  Multitudinous examples of  many

More mice survived due to the fact that they received treatment in a hyperbaric chamber. Researchers came to find out that a pacemaker could control the arrhythmia. Many people are caught by the fact that laser tattoo removal can leave permanent scars. More mice survived because they received treatment in a hyperbaric chamber. Researchers learned that a pacemaker could control the arrhythmia. Many people discover that laser tattoo removal can leave permanent scars.

Scrub out weak verb-adverb pairs  The patients walked awkwardly after the surgery.  The patients stumbled after the surgery.  The anaconda squeezed the deer forcefully.  The anaconda strangled the deer.  Congress considered the options carefully.  Congress studied the options.

In order to ensure respiratory health in these modern polluted times, humans must begin to start to proceed to reduce the immense amount of air contaminants. In order to ensure respiratory health in these modern polluted times, humans must begin to start to proceed to reduce the immense amount of air contaminants. To ensure respiratory health today, humans must reduce air contaminants. 

Trash pretentious language. Viewers can more fully appreciate the pulchritude of Van Gogh’s paintings when they understand his innovative techniques. That has got to go! That has got to go! Use a thesaurus with care! Use a thesaurus with care! Viewers can more fully appreciate the beauty of Van Gogh’s paintings when they understand his innovative techniques.

Eliminate the dust bunnies of writing.  Scan the surfaces of your paragraphs, removing any sentence errors.  The best method: Cover your essay with a sheet of paper, and scan line by line.  Read the essay aloud to catch phrasing that doesn’t sound right.  For your research essay, remove unnecessary second-person pronouns: you, your, yours, etc. unless they are part of your quotations.  Use Ctrl + F to search for problems. search for problems search for problems

Mop up documentation errors. Use a highlighter to mark all of the quotations in your draft. Use a highlighter to mark all of the quotations in your draft.

Parenthetical References with Books  If you do not mention the author in the authority phrase, use the author's last name and the page number in the reference.  If you use the author in the authority phrase, include only the page number in the parenthetical reference.  The one period that ends the entire sentence follows the reference.

No author in the authority phrase: According to Drug War Facts, “methadone treatment reduced participants’ heroin use by 70%, their criminal activity by 57%, and increased their full-time employment by 24%” (McVay 197). According to Drug War Facts, “methadone treatment reduced participants’ heroin use by 70%, their criminal activity by 57%, and increased their full-time employment by 24%” (McVay 197). Author in the authority phrase: According to Douglas McVay, author of Drug War Facts, “methadone treatment reduced participants’ heroin use by 70%, their criminal activity by 57%, and increased their full-time employment by 24%” (197). According to Douglas McVay, author of Drug War Facts, “methadone treatment reduced participants’ heroin use by 70%, their criminal activity by 57%, and increased their full-time employment by 24%” (197).

Parenthetical References with Online Sources  If you do not mention the author in the authority phrase, use the author's last name.  If you use the author in the authority phrase, no parenthetical reference is necessary.  If you do not have an author, use an abbreviated title in quotation marks, like this: (“Few Successes”)  The one period that ends the entire sentence follows the parenthetical reference.  If the quotation does not have a reference, the period comes before the closing quotation mark.

No author in the authority phrase: According to The New York Times, Matt Harding’s dance video is “an almost perfect piece of Internet art” (McGrath). According to The New York Times, Matt Harding’s dance video is “an almost perfect piece of Internet art” (McGrath). Author in the authority phrase: Charles McGrath, a reporter for The New York Times, considers Matt Harding’s dance video “an almost perfect piece of Internet art.” Charles McGrath, a reporter for The New York Times, considers Matt Harding’s dance video “an almost perfect piece of Internet art.”

No author for the article = abbreviated title in the reference According to The New York Times, the drug company “agreed to pay Louisiana $45 million to settle lawsuits” (“Glaxo to Pay”). According to The New York Times, the drug company “agreed to pay Louisiana $45 million to settle lawsuits” (“Glaxo to Pay”). No reference if you have already mentioned the title. According to the article “Glaxo to Pay $45 Million to State Over Drug Marketing,” the company “agreed to pay Louisiana $45 million to settle lawsuits.” According to the article “Glaxo to Pay $45 Million to State Over Drug Marketing,” the company “agreed to pay Louisiana $45 million to settle lawsuits.”

All parenthetical references must flawlessly match the entry on the works cited page.

McVay, Douglas. Drug War Facts. Toronto: Chelsea House Publishers, McVay, Douglas. Drug War Facts. Toronto: Chelsea House Publishers, According to Drug War Facts, “methadone treatment reduced participants’ heroin use by 70%, their criminal activity by 57%, and increased their full-time employment by 24%” (McVay 197). According to Drug War Facts, “methadone treatment reduced participants’ heroin use by 70%, their criminal activity by 57%, and increased their full-time employment by 24%” (McVay 197). Establish a flawless match between parenthetical reference and the works cited page entry:

“Glaxo to Pay $45 Million to State Over Drug Marketing.” New York Times 26 July Web. 22 Feb “Glaxo to Pay $45 Million to State Over Drug Marketing.” New York Times 26 July Web. 22 Feb According to The New York Times, the drug company “agreed to pay Louisiana $45 million to settle lawsuits” (“Glaxo to Pay”). According to The New York Times, the drug company “agreed to pay Louisiana $45 million to settle lawsuits” (“Glaxo to Pay”). Even for sources with no authors:

Write the Conclusion  Write one sentence that summarizes the main idea of the paper.  Write one sentence of summary for each of your four main points. Remind your reader of the good ideas you covered.  End with a thoughtful last statement. You can have an opinion here or address the reader directly.  The conclusion must be at least 6 sentences. Longer is fine.

Final Version  Your essay is due in class on Tuesday, March 18.  You must put the essay in my hands.  Remember to bring your score sheet.  You must also submit a copy to SafeAssign. No SafeAssign copy = zero.

Is Your Essay Toxic? Visit the Writing Center for Help. Building 5, Room 155, West Campus ! Building 5,5, Room 155, West Campus ! Call – – to schedule an appointment. Call – – to schedule an appointment.

The goal is to tidy up any messiness, going from this disaster …

… to this neat and orderly production!

The End. The End.