Improving Workplace Relationships – Effectively Communicating with People Who Are Different Than You October 27th, 2010 Presenter: Andrew Sanderbeck Waynesville, North Carolina PCI Webinars www.peopleconnectinstitute.com

Foundation of Learning Share your experiences. They provide valuable insight. If you are doing something that gets the results you want, keep doing it. Take the information you learn here and put it into your own style.

Goals and Objectives Guidelines for Effective Communication Do’s and Do not’s The LNC’s of Communication Enhancing Relationships Assessment What the Results Indicate About Your Communication Style Techniques for Communicating More Effectively with People Using Different Styles

Polling Question #1 The average person listens with only 25% efficiency True False

Guidelines for Effective Communication

DO NOT make assumptions about language proficiency                                                                             DO NOT make assumptions about language proficiency Do not assume that a patron and co-worker: Speaks English fluently Does not speak English based on their appearance or the color of their skin Remember, even if a person speaks English fluently, misunderstandings can still arise, and when a person is not proficient in English, misunderstandings are even more likely.                                                                                                                                                Friends of the Library $40 Benefit from an array of exclusive member-only perks and support one of New York's most magnificent treasures                                 Conservators $1,500 Enjoy exclusive book previews, behind-the-scenes events, discussions, and forums led by the world's most prominent intellectuals                                                                    

Polling Question #2 I work with a diverse population of patrons and/or coworkers Yes No

DO NOT make assumptions about levels of understanding Assuming they don’t understand may cause a patron and co-workers to feel insulted; however, assuming that they do can also be dangerous, as it may affect communication outcomes.

DO Respect different beliefs and attitudes When appropriate, ask them about their beliefs, attitudes, and experiences and then acknowledge your understanding of and respect for their views and ways of doing things.

DO Take the time to explore and resolve any misunderstandings. Using phrases such as “I don’t think I understand that point”, “Could you try explaining that another way?”, “Let me explain it differently”, may help in resolving misunderstandings.

Polling Question #3 I am careful to keep my communication as simple as possible Yes No

DO Speak clearly and slowly using plain, straightforward language Certain words, phrases, or actions may have different meanings for different people. For example, most English-speaking Canadians use "yes" to indicate their agreement, but in some cultures “yes” can be a form of acknowledgment rather an indication of agreement.

DO Verify that you have been understood It does not usually work to ask the other person “Do you understand?”, as most people will say “yes” whether they understood or not. If you sense that the person is unsure or confused, it may be helpful to say something like, “Just to clarify…” and then restate what you said in a slightly different manner

DO Carefully observe nonverbal responses Be aware of the patrons and co-workers body language as it can provide useful cues. For instance, if someone looks upset even after being told something critical or constructive, he or she may not have understood your message or intention.

L = LISTEN External Distractions Internal Distractions Trigger Words Judging

L = LISTEN Prepare / Talking Meetings / Agenda Actively Listening Rely / Interpret Mind Already Made Up

N = NOTEBOOK Names (Why you should use them) Outcomes (Not Intentions)   Outcomes (Not Intentions) Clarify (Before and After) Create Bridges (A visual)

C = COLLABORATION What it is/is not Collaboration = working together, especially with those you sees as difficult and/or different Collaboration isn’t inviting a bunch of people to a meeting at the beginning of a project Collaboration isn’t working separately on the same project. It’s all about the „actually working together“, not just contributing bits to a pot

C = COLLABORATION Why it is rare It’s perceived as somehow fluffy, even when the benefits are so obvious

C = COLLABORATION When to use it   at the beginning of a project, but not JUST at the beginning when you’re stuck, i.e. for trouble shooting and problem solving (this is collaborating with a narrow focus) when you’re looking for inspiration (yes, wide focus) regularly, well, it must be trained …

Polling Question #4 We could collaborate more effectively in our library Yes No

Enhancing Daily Relationships Assessment New Relationship Strategies

Socializers Appreciation Recognition Great Ideas Spontaneity/Fun Follow-Through People/People Influencers Positive Language

Directors/Efficients Get it Done…Now Results Control Decision-Maker Rude and Abrasive Very Direct Be Productive

Thinkers/Factuals Get it Right Planning/Organizing Structure Indirect Perfectionist Validated Information and Data Very Organized Work Area

Relaters/Loyals Everybody Get Along Caretakers Routine Very Caring Good Listeners Not Taking Care of Themselves Reassurance

“Do Unto Others As They Would Have Done Unto Them” The Platinum Rule “Do Unto Others As They Would Have Done Unto Them”

Thanks for Attending Training with PCI Webinars! Managing Yourself Instead of Managing Time with Andrew Sanderbeck Wednesday November 3rd at 1:00 pm