Exercise 11

No.1  (Worse) It is our opinion that, when a decision reaches the final stage, it must be implemented promptly.  (Better 1) It is our opinion that, when reaching the final stage, a decision must be implemented promptly.  (Better 2) It is our opinion that a decision must be implemented promptly when reaching the final stage.

[Note 3.19]  Avoid wordiness by saying We believe instead of It is our opinion that.

No.2  (Worse) No adjustment factors exist if (C1) is violated, which means that the transformation approach can be carried out.  (Better 1) The fact that no adjustment factors exist if (C1) is violated implies that the transformation approach can be carried out.  (Better 2) No adjustment factors exist if (C1) is violated, implying that the transformation approach can be carried out.

No.2 (cont.)  (Better 3) No adjustment factors exist if (C1) is violated; this violation implies that the transformation approach can be carried out.  (Better 4) The transformation approach can be carried out since no adjustment factors exist if (C1) is violated.

[Note 3.20]  Depending on the sentence ’ s context, implemented, promulgated or executed can be used as alternatives to carried out when the Chinese meaning is 執行.

No.3  (Worse) Taguchi [4] treated censoring times as actual failures, which may lead to serious deficiencies. This arises because the unobserved failure and censoring times may significantly differ.  (Better ) Taguchi [4] treated censoring times as actual failures, possibly leading to serious deficiencies. This situation (circumstance, phenomenon) arises because the unobserved failure and censoring times may significantly differ.

No.4  (Worse) A number of studies have examined how inflation affects an inventory policy, which also considered the time value of money and different inflation rates.  (Better 1) While examining how inflation affects an inventory policy, a number of studies also considered the time value of money and different inflation rates.

No.4 (cont.)  (Better 2) In addition to examining how inflation affects an inventory policy, a number of studies also considered the time value of money and different inflation rates.

[Note 3.21  In this sentence, whether several studies or inventory policy considers the time value of value of money and different inflation rates in unclear. However, the revised sentence removes this ambiguity.

[Note 3.22]  Depending on the sentence ’ s context, several or many can be used as alternatives to a number of when the chinese meaning is 多幾個 or 很多

No.5  (Worse) Increasing parameter k increases the optimal ordering quantity. This affects the total optimal total system cost.  (Better 1) Increasing parameter k increases the optimal ordering quantity, thus affecting the total optimal total system cost.  (Better 2) Increasing parameter k increases the optimal ordering quantity. Such an increase affects the total optimal total system cost.

No.6  (Worse) An optimal inventory policy which considers the simultaneous effects of deterioration and inflation should be developed.  (Better 1) An optimal inventory policy capable of considering the simultaneous effects of deterioration and inflation should be developed.

No.7  (Worse) Optimizing a large-scale problem to demonstrate the effectiveness of the proposed approach is problematic when it adopts the integer programming model.  (Better) Optimizing a large-scale problem to demonstrate the effectiveness of the proposed approach is problematic when the latter adopts the integer programming model.

No.8  (Worse) The uniformity of the output was unstable, which made it impossible for engineers to adjust the process parameters when the wafer quality did not match the required specifications.  (Better 1) The uniformity of the output was unstable, making it impossible for engineers to adjust the process parameters when the wafer quality did not match the required specifications.

No.8 (cont.)  (Better 2) The unstable uniformity of the output made it impossible for engineers to adjust the process parameters when the wafer quality did not match the required specifications.  (Better 3) The fact that the uniformity of the output was unstable made it impossible for engineers to adjust the process parameters when the wafer quality did not match the required specifications.

No.9  (Worse) Besides their method relying on the existence of MLEs, it does not consider the variability of control factors.  (Better) Besides relying on the existence of MLEs, their method does not consider the variability of control factors.

No.10  (Worse) Inventory replenishment policies are considered for deteriorating items in a declining market under a continuous price increase. They lead to a differential equation that describes the system ’ s inventory dynamic.  (Better) Inventory replenishment policies are considered for deteriorating items in a declining market under a continuous price increase. These policies lead to a differential equation that describes the system ’ s inventory dynamic.

No.11  (Worse) Driving a car and talking on a cellular phone at the same time is dangerous; this could cause an accident.  (Better) Driving a car and talking on a cellular phone at the same time is dangerous; this habit could cause an accident.

[Note 3.23]  Depending on the sentence ’ s context, simultaneously or meanwhile can be used as an alternatives to at the same time when the Chinese meaning is 同時.

No.12  (Worse) When different approaches employ variables to implement the procedure, they encounter several obstacles.  (Better 1) When employing variables to implement the procedure, different approaches encounter several obstacles.  (Better 2) Different approaches encounter several obstacles when employing variables to implement the procedure.

[Note 3.24]  Depending on the sentence ’ s context, various, varying, varied or distinct can be used as alternatives to different when the Chinese meaning is 不同.