Building Blocks to Higher Self-Esteem in Your Child

4 Goal: Give parents knowledge and skills to increase their child’s self-esteem. 4 Objectives: –Know characteristics of children with low and high self-esteem. –Understand the equation: IC – INC = SC –Specific strategies for increasing your child’s self- esteem. –Be able to demonstrate “Effective Praise.”

Characteristics of High Self Esteem

Children with High Self-Esteem 4 Show confidence 4 Not afraid of failure 4 Take responsibility for their decisions 4 Make independent decisions 4 Embrace new challenges 4 Resilient 4 Honest 4 Tolerate frustration well 4 Show pride in their accomplishments 4 Seem happy and smile 4 Manifest a broad range of emotions

Characteristics of Low Self Esteem

Children with Low Self-Esteem 4 Minimize their own abilities 4 Lack a sense of competence 4 Feel powerless 4 Get frustrated easily 4 Blame others for their problems 4 Avoid taking risks 4 People-pleasers 4 Are easily influenced by others 4 Exhibit constricted emotions 4 Depression / Helpless

What is Self-Concept 4 IC – INC = SC 4 IC = I’m Capable message account 4 INC = I’m Not Capable message account 4 SC = Self-Concept

Tips for Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem 4 Create situation in which your child can feel successful 4 Success breeds self confidence 4 Find the interests and strengths

Tips for Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem 4 Give children responsibility, chores, and set limits. 4 Teach your children how to handle time and money. 4 Help your child set specific, realistic, and achievable goals

Tips for Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem cont. 4 Make your own expectations clear. 4 Help your child feel important and loved. 4 Praise your child using the “4:1” Rule. 4 Help your child feel confident by teaching problem solving.

Tips for Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem cont. 4 Treat your children with respect. 4 Discipline with dignity. 4 Spend time having fun together. 4 Work on your own self- esteem.

“4:1” Rule 4 For every one correction, you should give your child four positives. –Do not save praise for outstanding achievements –You want to make your child feel loved and appreciated every day. –Attempt to notice all of your child’s efforts and not just the remarkable accomplishments.

Building Self Esteem+ 4 “Whale Done”Approach (K. Blanchard) –Build Trust –Focus on the positive –When mistakes occur redirect, not “correct” –Your response can increase the probability of the behavior being repeated

Steps of Effective Praise 4 Praise anytime your children are doing something you want them to do. 4 Describe the positive telling clearly and specifically exactly what you liked. 4 Give a reason by telling why you liked what they did and how that behavior will help them in the future. 4 Get a response to make sure that your child understands. 4 Occasionally give an optional reward when are especially pleased with child’s behavior.

Building Self Esteem 4 Your job is to Catch them doing things right. 4 Use the “Whale Done Approach” (Ken Blanchard)