Healthy Ways of Dealing With Difficult Relationships

Learning Objectives Assess the impact of difficult people on your life. Understanding the unhealthy cycles that are very easily established in relationships with difficult people. Understand why difficult people behave the way they do. Learn four basic approaches for dealing with difficult people. Ten rules for effective communication. The characteristics of some difficult personality types. Coping strategies for dealing with difficult people. Learn how to become a catalyst for change.

The Bully Characteristics: Pushy Demanding Threatening Abrasive Controlling Loud Rude Sarcastic Fairly predictable

The Time Bomb Characteristics: Emotionally out of control Gains power through emotional displays Stores up negative energy Unpredictable Explosive unpredictable they usually leave and emotional mess to clean up

The Con Artist Characteristics: Manipulative Conniving Seem “too good” to be true Attractive Charming Tell you what you want to hear

The Button Pusher Characteristics: Manipulative Knows your “soft spots” You feel used Exploits your weaknesses and insecurities Avoids work and responsibility This is that individual that seems to be put on this earth to personally, push you to your limits and knows exactly what makes you tick. Unfortunately they use our weakness and strengths to get what they want....guilt...empathy...compassion, competitiveness

The Put-down Artist Characteristics: Negative Pessimistic Nothing is ever right Put others down to boost themselves Sarcastic

The Crybaby Characteristics: Chronic complainer Never satisfied Never happy Always want you to fix what is wrong

The Silent Sam Characteristics: Extremely quiet Use silence as a weapon You never seem to know what they are thinking You feel uncomfortable in their silence

The Know It All Characteristics: Super intelligent They use their knowledge to belittle and intimidate others Low tolerance for being corrected or contradictions Not comfortable in social conversations

The Perfectionist Characteristics: Insecure Makes an excessive number of commitments Pre-occupied in doing everything right Pre-occupied with details Fearful of making a wrong decision Problems prioritizing, setting goals

Four Approaches to Dealing With Difficult People Stay and do nothing Walk away Change your attitude Change your behavior The only thing you can control is you. You choose what to do, how to interact, and most importantly,...how to interpret and internalize the interaction. If you know the persons agenda and how they work, you can temper the messages they are giving. Besides it can be fun to watch when a person with a difficult style finds out it doesn't work on you ....sometimes the relationship changes altogether

Taking Responsibility for Your Attitudes and Behavior Focus on what you Can Control Recognize and Appreciate Individual Differences Don’t Commit “Assumicide” Become Self-Observing Conduct yourself according to the “Golden Rule”

Handling Conflicts With Difficult People Separate Feelings from Value Judgments Focus on the Similarities, Not Differences Tolerate Discomfort - Don’t Evade, Disconnect or Act Out Balance Interests - Self and Other Tune into the Feelings Behind the Mask Be Mindful of your Reaction Patterns

Ten Rules for Effective Communication Put your needs and emotions aside initially Monitor the tone of your voice and your body language Actively listen Blend Practice reflective listening Identify positive intent Ask clarifying questions Redirect Tactfully interrupt Summarize and confirm

Be a Catalyst for Change Compare your difficult people problems to other situations Recall your most recent unpleasant encounter and view it again Reframe the problem Remember that outside help is available