Copyright 2009 by Richard P. Walters TURN ON SOUND, THEN CLICK TO BEGIN

This exercise will help you decide what to do first when responding to a person. You’ll hear a situation, then decide what should be attended to first. Click only as prompted. CLICK WHEN YOU ARE READY TO BEGIN

1. This was said within a large group meeting. PH –Physical help I –Information U/I – Understanding/involvement A – Anger I I – Inappropriate interaction Click on the triage category that needs attention first. Click for situation Repeat if you wish

There’s a better answer. CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN

There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE Encouraging intercessory prayer is a proper thing to do, but it is not okay to report personal details. Gossip is gossip even when it is included with a righteous act.

2. A neighbor phones. PH –Physical help I –Information U/I –Understanding/involvement A – Anger I I – Inappropriate interaction Click on the triage category that needs attention first. Click for situation

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN In this situation, where he is from is not nearly as important as where he is going—perhaps into the street! There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN Maybe the woman would like to have her worry soothed, but it’s the kid who needs help. There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE When there is danger of personal harm, immediately take sensible action to prevent it. In this case, grab the kid before he wanders into the street, and then look for the parents.

3. A co-worker says: PH – Physical help I – Information U/I – Understanding/involvement A – Anger I I – Inappropriate interaction Click on the triage category that needs attention first. Click for situation

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

He needs to know the time, and you can tell him, but consider what else is going on with him right now. CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer. He needs to know the time, and you can tell him, but consider what else is going on with him right now.

Yes, the name calling is inappropriate, but that is not the most active issue right now. CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE Anger is the active force. State the time, then consider if you can help him control and diminish his anger. If he is angry at you, take responsibility by apology, making amends, or whatever is appropriate.

4. PH – Physical help I – Information U/I – Understanding/involvement A – Anger I I – Inappropriate interaction Click on the triage category that needs attention first. Click for situation

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN Okay, she is upset and afraid. Usually we respond with mirroring to learn more about what’s going on. This situation is different because the talker can be given information that will quickly relieve the fear. There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN She may have sounded angry to you, and if so, you have a point. However, in this situation the talker is confused about something. If the talker remains angry after the confusion is cleared up, the anger is probably caused by something else, which may be revealed during careful listening. There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE Sometimes people aren’t seeking information, but we notice that they need it. She is not aware that 110 kph is the same as 69 mph. If we explained that, she might relax. Is that meddling or being a “know it all”? Your call.

5. PH – Physical help I – Information U/I – Understanding/involvement A – Anger I I – Inappropriate interaction Click on the triage category that needs attention first. Click for situation

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN You’ll want to give information if you have it, but that is not the most important thing to do first.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE In this situation, the talker’s emotional need is even greater than the need for information. A mirroring response (to her fear, shock, anticipation of sorrow) will be soothing. Then information, if you have it.

6. A good friend phones you. PH – Physical help I – Information U/I – Understanding/involvement A – Anger I I – Inappropriate interaction Click on the triage category that needs attention first. Click for situation

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN Even the best mechanic couldn’t answer that question at that moment. There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN Empathy is precious— but not now. There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN He’s frustrated, but not angry. There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

Help fix the urgent problem. Now! Go push the car or call a tow truck—whatever makes sense in the context. Provide empathy later. CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE

PH – Physical help I – Information U/I – Understanding/involvement A – Anger I I – Inappropriate interaction Click on the triage category that needs attention first. 7. One of the people in your car pool criticizes your driving approximately every five minutes. This time it is... Click for situation

There’s a better answer. CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN

There’s a better answer. CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN

There’s a better answer. CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN

There’s a better answer. CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN

These chronic complainers are really a pain. For the sake of all of you, be assertive. Don’t reward inappropriate behavior. CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE

8. PH – Physical help I – Information U/I – Understanding/involvement A – Anger I I – Inappropriate interaction Click on the triage category that needs attention first. Click for situation

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE In his last sentence you may hear discontent. You may hear it. If a person is bored, unhappy, or depressed—give them a chance to talk about it. If they’re not, they’re not, but let’s not miss significant conditions that are difficult for people to talk about.

9. PH – Physical help I – Information U/I – Understanding/involvement A – Anger II – Inappropriate Interaction Click on the triage category that needs attention first. Click for situation

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE If you know a good place, say so. If you know who knows, say so. If you know how to find out, say so. If you don’t know, say so; don’t fake it.

10. PH – Physical help I – Information U/I – Understanding/involvement A – Anger I I – Inappropriate interaction Click on the triage category that needs attention first. Click for situation

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer. Yes, she needs to be understood, but that is not the first task.

CLICK HERE TO CHOOSE AGAIN There’s a better answer. We are uncomfortable around angry people, but anger is not always wrong nor inappropriate. Hanging on to anger is wrong.

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE It is clear that she is angry. Help her settle down, then help her to understand why her emotion is so strong in the situation, and help her learn God’s plans for resolving anger.

the end