Class 5

The You that Notices

What kind of person are you?

Warning: Minds won’t like this When we take our stories about ourselves to be literally true, we guard, protect, defend them WITH OUR LIVES. We work to construct our worlds in a way that confirms the truth of our self-labels.

Have you ever watched a documentary of Africa?

Another documentary of Africa.

Your Mind, the Documentary Maker 150,000 hours of footage of YOU –Your thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories, experiences, interactions Condensed down to a 5-minute story –A few familiar words to describe you –A well-worn story about why you are that way

9 The Documentary of You Now let’s watch the documentary. To begin with, close your eyes, and run that self-description through your mind. Turn to your partner and for 1 minute tell them about yourself… And notice what you don’t tell them!

10 The Documentary of You V.2 Another one-minute documentary This time, completely different set of facts All true- this is still nonfiction New scene selections New editing

11 The Documentary of You V.3 Add one more minute to your documentary Weave the facts into a story Same facts, this time give reasons How did you come to be this person? What experiences shaped who you are? What was your family and childhood like?

12 The Documentary of You V.4 Same facts, NEW reasons How did you come to be this person? What experiences shaped who you are? What was your family and childhood like? Weave the facts into a completely different story about how you came to be the person you are The stories can be real or imaginary, but always plausible

The Documentary of You: Synopsis The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? In reality, your mind is telling you a story. –True, but not the whole truth –Scenes are selected to maintain the truth and coherence of the story –The story is not YOU

Who YOU are Not

The trouble with stories Our stories focus our attention on what is important and relevant But what if you don’t like the story? –How will that affect what scenes from your past you pay attention to? –How will that affect how you act in future scenes?

Stories claim to explain causes of our past behavior I slept all day. I am a lazy person. Result: The only way to change your future is to change your past.

Stories can influences our future behavior The reason for we do next –I ‘m the life of the party. I have to pretend everything is fine when it isn’t. The justification for what we DON’T do –That person would never like me because I’m not attractive enough I should just stay home. I’m not going to talk to them.

The Stable You

19 The Benefits of Being You You are the one thing that has been constant throughout your whole life. You don’t need to change YOU. You CAN change what you do, in spite of the storyline you’ve been following

Writing the Next Scene Think about your role in the documentary about you. In order for that person to be the person you want to be, what bold moves would you have to make? How could you take a step in that direction this week?

Commitment I, ________________________, commit to doing ________________________ this week. ___________ might try to get in my way, but I am willing to experience these without struggle in order to fulfill my commitment to myself.