Managing Work Relationships LEADER’S GUIDE (1 minute) 1. Introduce yourself Work experience Name and contact information for your organization Professional Credentials 2. Introduce Topic Welcome to Developing and Maintaining Healthy Interpersonal Relationships: How Are Your Relationship Bank Accounts? Explain the seminar is sponsored by Compaq U.S. Benefits and WorkLife Resources. With April 15th being income tax deadline, money/bank accounts are the theme for this class since many of us are thinking about $$$ this month. All material is included in your Participant’s Guide--all the overhead points with speaker’s notes, quotes, plus supplemental material. During class, we will discuss pages 2-9 in your Participant’s Guide (Handouts #1-7). All the rest is additional information, tips and exercises for review at your convenience. Class will be held until ____. In case you need to leave before that time, please place your completed evaluations _______.

PURPOSE Personal support and improvement Continuous Quality Improvement Improving the end product/result by improving the process Enhancing work relationships “Continuing Education” Information for specific situations Information generalized to life experiences

OUTLINE Overview: Two Sides of the Same Coin Understanding and Appreciating Diversity Role of Respect: “Living” the Virtue Communication Skills: More Than Talk Privilege versus Right: Similar but Different Boundaries: Knowing/Respecting Limits Personal Responsibility: Employee Corporate Responsibility: Management

OVERVIEW Human Side Business Side Individual identity Personal goals Personal needs Developing abilities and talents Personal role in a community “What’s in it for me” Business Side Corporate identity Corporate goals Corporate needs Supporting and affirming staff growth Creating a community environment “What’s in it for us”

DIVERSITY “The cure for boredom.” Definition: “Differing from one another” Examples Critical element for fostering team work and team effectiveness The whole is bigger than the parts: it all adds up Making the most out of conflicts and differences

DIVERSITY (continued) Advantages Adds variety to life More sources of learning and experience Stimulates and helps eliminate boredom Helps me look at the world around me more realistically Challenges Forces me to be open and flexible Requires me to be secure in myself and possibly change Asks me to look beyond myself and what is comfortable for me

R.E.S.P.E.C.T Regard: knowing who I’m dealing with Empathy: what if I were you Sincerity: how bad/good I really am Patience: when life doesn’t go my way Embracement: how big/small I really am Courtesy: are my manners showing Tolerance: how insecure/secure I really am

COMMUNICATION SKILLS Definition: “A process by which information is exchanged”… “A learned power of doing something; a developed ability” The Art of Communication It’s not all talk Healing versus Hurting “Give and Take” of Communication

Habits of Effective People Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Stephen Covey from Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (10 minutes--Overheads 10-12) This slide is used to reinforce point #1, of Ways to Make Major Deposits - Building Healthy Interpersonal Relationships.

Listening (7 minutes-Overheads 13 and 14) 8. Exercise: Listening Have participants look at page 7 of their Participant’s Guide (Handout #5) and review important points about the value of listening, the levels of listening, empathic responses, and helpful phrases to acknowledge understanding. Exercise: Have participants get into pairs -- one talker and one listener. For about two minutes, the sender discusses the last time he or she was angry (or happy or just had strong emotions.) The listener is to paraphrase and try to identify the feelings of the sender. After about two minutes, change roles and continue this exercise for another two minutes. At the end of the exercise, discuss how it went. “How does it feel to have someone trying to really listen and understand?”

COMMUNICATION SKILLS We have been given two ears and one mouth. We should listen twice as much as we talk! Ancient Proverb Reminder for participants: Listening is a powerful gift and can be freely given. Point out words on this overhead and emphasize the importance of practicing good listening skills - the best method for making major deposits in any relationship bank account.

Communication Skills “I” Messages Describes objectively how you feel. Focuses on your feelings. Does not assign blame. Specific behavior is described. Non-verbal elements such as tone of voice and body language are critical. Requires a non-judgmental attitude. Can include a state of change and consequence.

How Do You Come Across? 55%--Body Body language, facial expressions, hand gestures, use of space, movements 38%--Voice Tone, pitch, rate, volume 07%--Word Actual words spoken This Overhead is used to illustrate point #7 - Barriers to Effective Communication. Show Overhead #8, Communication pie graph and emphasize the importance of body language and voice. Exercise: Have participants say “good afternoon” three times: 1. With a frown, squeezing their eyebrows together 2. With a neutral face, stone face, hardly moving upper lip 3. With a big smile and “happy eyes” Body language usually affects the tone of voice.

Ten Rules for Effective Communication Put your needs and emotions aside initially: “give peace a chance” Watch your tone of voice and body language: “how you come across” Actively listening: “be in the moment” Blend: “come in from the cold” Reflectively listening: “when the ball is in your court” Identify positive intent: “giving the benefit of the doubt” Ask clarifying questions: “when in doubt, ASK” Redirect: “keeping the volley going” Tactfully interrupt: “saving face” Summarize and confirm: “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”

RIGHT versus PRIVILEGE Definition: “Those things to which I have a just claim” Examples Balancing my rights with those of others Protecting my rights because they can be lost: how rights relate to privileges Definition: “A right granted as a peculiar benefit” Examples Using my privileges wisely Protecting and honoring privileges to preserve my rights

BOUNDARIES Definition: “Something that indicates or fixes a limit” The purpose of boundaries “Good fences make good neighbors” Every fence needs a gate Examples of boundaries When boundaries are violated Boundary Rule: “Does it belong to me or does it belong to someone else.”

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY Example: “Wayne’s World” Taking care of myself Fulfilling personal responsibilities Knowing my place Being true to myself: “individual strength” Being true to others: “interwoven strength” Keeping perspective and remembering the big picture

CORPORATE RESPONSIBILITY Remember the Mission “If it doesn’t contribute to the mission, it doesn’t belong” Don’t take it personal Delegated responsibility Remember the role The purpose of entrusted responsibility Protect against “vandalism” Being the coach

If it’s to be, It’s up to me! CREATE A PERSONAL ACTION PLAN TO IMPROVE WORK RELATIONSHIP If it’s to be, It’s up to me! (1 minute) Remember: It’s just as important to know the balance in your relationship bank accounts as it is to know your actual checking and savings account balances. Use the skills you have identified. Think about your Action Plan. Start practicing today! Commit yourself to improving the account balances of your interpersonal relationships. Take the first step - Overhead 18. Reference supplemental material (pages 10 - 17 in Participants’ Guide) if time allows. Point out page 18 of the Participant’s Guide, Resources and Suggested Readings. (3 minutes) Highlight the EAP and WorkLife Resources programs and give contact information. Make available WorkLife Resources Directory of Services and EAP materials. “Thanks for coming.” (5 minutes) Have participants complete evaluations.