Helping Children Cope: Strengthening Social Emotional Competence Lise Fox Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Intervention Florida Center for Inclusive Communities

 Why Social Emotional Competence  Skills for Coping  Strategies for Families, Strategies for Children Agenda

How does this make you feel?

How about the children?

What makes life easier?

What about the Children?

 First, Then  Choices  Visuals  Clear Expectations Getting Your Child to Cooperate

 Everyone has an invisible bucket. We are at our best when our buckets are overflowing –and at our worst when they are empty.  Whenever we choose to fill others’ buckets, we in turn fill our own.  Everyone also has an invisible dipper. In each interaction, we can use our dipper either to fill or to dip from others’ buckets. How Full is Your Bucket

Magic Ratio 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative* *but ratios greater than 13 to 1 are harmful

Fill a Bucket: A Guide to Daily Happiness for the Young Child by Kathy Martin

 Emotional Expression  Problem Solving  Coping Strategies  Pain  Disappointment  Loss  Self-advocacy Skills of Resilience Every Child Needs

13

 Talk about your feelings.  Say to your child, “Tell me how that makes you feel.”  Teach new emotion words (e.g., frustrated, confused, anxious, excited, worried, disappointed).  Talk about how characters in a book, video or on a TV show may feel.  Reflect on specific situations and discuss feelings.  Accept and support your child’s expression of feelings.  Use books and art activities to talk about emotions.  Talk aloud about your own feeling in a variety of situations.  Describe how your child’s face looks or pictures of people in magazines and books.  Pretend play with toy figurines, stuffed animals, or puppets and have them use “feeling words.” Building Your Child’s Ability to Express Emotions

Turtle Technique  Model remaining calm  Teach how to control feelings and calm down  Step 1: recognize your feelings  Step 2: Think “stop”  Step 3: go inside your shell and take three deep breaths  Step 4: come out when calm and think of a good solution  Practice steps frequently  Prepare for and help child handle possible disappointment and/or change  Recognize and comment when the child stays calm

Turtle Technique Recognize that you feel angry. “Think”Stop. Go into shell. Take 3 deep breaths. And think calm, coping thoughts. Come out of shell when calm and thinking of a solution.

When Tucker Turtle Gets Scared…He Knows How to Be Brave A scripted story to assist with teaching the “Turtle Technique” when children feel anxious or scared about medical needs. By Rochelle Lentini and a very brave Juvenile Arthritis Warrior named Parker Lentini Copyright © 2010 Created using pictures from Microsoft Clipart® and from information from the Center for the Social Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL) and from the Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Interventions for Young Children(TACSEI). Personal use or free distribution: No permission is needed to download and/or photo copy this story, as long as the copies are distributed at no cost and a credit to the authors is evident on each copy.

Would it be safe? Would it be fair? How would everyone feel? Problem Solving Steps 21 Step 2

Help the Child Think of a Possible Solution: Get a grown-up Ask nicely Ignore Play Say, “Please stop.” Say, “Please.” Share Trade toys/item Wait and take turns 22

Self Advocacy  Ask for information  Prepare questions  Structure opportunities  Debrief with your child  Be a Part of the Discussion  Acknowledge child’s presence  Use child’s name  Invite into conversation when appropriate

 Understand Options and Make Meaningful Choices  Identify options  Make the pro and con list  Challenge Injustice Self-Advocacy

Supporting the GLADD  Give Information  Prepare your child to provide information and answer questions  Listen  Help your child develop system to remember and record information  Ask  Support your child in asking the questions  Decide  Create the opportunity for your child to have an active role  Do  Create a “Do” plan  Design checklists or help your child create a list

 Articles for families and visuals  Making life easier series for parents of young children  GLADD videos and supports for youth  Visuals for feelings, emotional regulation, problem solving Web Sites