Taking Care of Children’s Basic Needs (Content based on Dr. Abraham Maslow’s theory and copyright materials from www.plannedparenthood.org) 1. Copyright, Copying, and Trademark The entire PPFA Web site is copyrighted 2005 by PPFA. Certain articles or materials within the Web site are also separately copyrighted by PPFA or by others, including other Planned Parenthood entities, as indicated. All rights reserved. If you find these materials useful, you may download, print out, or send a copy to others so long as each copy indicates the appropriate copyright notice and is used only for personal use. It is expressly prohibited, however, to reprint or electronically reproduce any text, document, graphic, or audio or visual material for bulk or commercial use. For special copyright permissions, or to purchase PPFA publications and pamphlets, please write to: PPFA Marketing Division, 434 West 33rd Street, New York, NY 10001, or email PPFAstore@PPFA.org.

Children’s Bodily Needs (Level One) An essential need for food, water, air, and sleep At birth, children will first depend on parent to provide nutritious foods, clean water and air, and a place to sleep

Reality Check for Parents Level-One Reality Check — Needs of the Body Realistic   Unrealistic     [ ]           [ ]         Can I provide my child with nutritious food?        [ ]           [ ]         Can I allow my child to get plenty of sleep, regularly?     [ ]           [ ]         Can I keep my child clean?     [ ]           [ ]         Can I be sure my child receives regular medical care?     [ ]           [ ]         Can I comfort my child when she or he needs to cry?

Level-One Reality Check — Needs of the Body These are all realistic goals for parents Parents who try to meet these basic “level one” needs help their children go on to develop needs for feeling safe and secure

Feeling Safe and Secure (Level Two) A need for protection from physical and emotional harm, and freedom from fear Parents are often the people children fear most

Feeling Safe and Secure (Level Two) How parents deal with their anger has a lot to do with how safe and secure children feel We must set good examples of love and compassion

Feeling Safe and Secure (Level Two) When troubles arise or mistakes are made we must: be patient and reasonable keep the “lines” of communication open

Reality Check for Parents Level-Two Reality Check — Needs for Safety and Security Realistic Unrealistic [] [] Can I provide a safe, comfortable place to live? [] [] Can I provide a good model of self-control whenever I’m angry? [] [] Can I avoid using physical force or threats? [] [] Can I talk about my point of view without accusing my child? [] [] Can I take responsibility for my own emotions and offer support and consolation to my child, no matter how angry I am or how frightened my child may be?

Level-Two Reality Check — Needs to Feel Safe and Secure These are all realistic goals for parents Parents who try to meet these basic “level two” needs help their children go on to develop needs for affection

Children’s Needs for Affection (Level Three) Children want, need, and deserve unconditional love Children thrive on affection — emotional attachment, fondness, love, and devotion

Children’s Needs for Affection (Level Three) Children learn about affection from the examples we set We show them how people get along with one another They learn from what we do and what we are

Children’s Needs for Affection (Level Three) Affection between family members increases their joy and pleasure in life  Kids from affectionate families are better equipped to cope with the frustrations and disappointments of daily life

Reality Check for Parents Level-Three Reality Check — Needs for Affection Realistic Unrealistic [] [] Can I give my child unconditional love and physical affection? [] [] Can I provide a model for loving, respectful, and caring behavior? [] [] Can I help my child talk about, understand, and trust her or his feelings and needs? [] [] Can I accept my child as an individual whose feelings and needs are different from mine? [] [] Can I reward caring and affectionate behavior with caring and affectionate attention?

Level-Three Reality Check — Needs for Affection These are all realistic goals for parents Parents who try to meet these basic “level three” needs help their children go on to develop needs for self-esteem

Children’s Needs for Self-Esteem (Level Four) Self-esteem begins with receiving unconditional love and support — especially from their parents Kids really want to know that they are "normal"

Children’s Needs for Self-Esteem (Level Four) We must teach them that it is “normal” to be different Giving our kids a sense of worth, competence, and normality will also help them develop respect for others

Children’s Needs for Self-Esteem (Level Four) Praise is the best way to teach self-esteem We should praise honesty, independence, talent, effort, fair play, and kindness

Reality Check for Parents Level-Four Reality Check — Needs for Self-Esteem Realistic Unrealistic [] [] Am I more likely to praise than criticize my child? [] [] Do I reward positive behavior? [] [] Do I believe mistakes are good opportunities to provide positive learning experiences? [] [] Can I help my child learn to be proud of her or his body, appearance, talents, and intellect? [] [] Can I help my child take pride in her or his moral values, behaviors, and relationships? [] [] Can I apologize to my child? [] [] Can I offer my child reasonable alternatives, instead of commands?

Level-Four Reality Check — Needs for Self Esteem These are all realistic goals for parents Parents who try to meet these basic “level four” needs help their children go on to develop needs for knowledge and understanding

Knowledge and Understanding (Level Five) Parents provide experiences that stimulate a child’s thirst for knowledge and understanding

Knowledge and Understanding (Level Five) We must reward children with approval when they learn something new We must provide daily opportunities for learning

Reality Check for Parents Level-Five Reality Check — Needs for Knowledge and Understanding Realistic Unrealistic [] [] Can I reward my child for asking questions and support interests that are different from mine? [] [] Can I provide information and support during the changes of growing up? [] [] Can I patiently help my child with homework? [] [] Can I teach and play games with my child? [] [] Can I let my child win? [] [] Can I include my child in conversations with adults? [] [] Can I provide my child with varied social outlets? [] [] Can I be available whenever my child wants to talk?

Level-Five Reality Check — Needs for Knowledge and Understanding These are all realistic goals for parents Parents who try to meet these basic “level five” needs help their children go on to develop needs for beauty and harmony

Beauty and Harmony (Level Six) We all have a need for beauty and harmony in our lives They provide us with a sense of balance and allow us to have hope for the future

Beauty and Harmony (Level Six) This includes music and art, the natural world, our moral and spiritual beliefs, our social customs, our cultural heritage, and an appreciation for positive, caring, intimate relationships with other people

Reality Check for Parents Level-Six Reality Check — Needs for Beauty and Harmony Realistic Unrealistic [] [] Can I share my dreams with my child and encourage my child to dream? [] [] Can I help my child appreciate the beauty of nature? [] [] Can I create an orderly family environment that includes music, arts, and crafts? [] [] Can I encourage my child to be creative — draw, paint, write, play an instrument, sing, or dance? [] [] Can I accept that my child will develop tastes and a personal style different from my own? [] [] Can I help my child appreciate the value of keeping physically fit?

Level-Six Reality Check — Needs for Beauty and Harmony These are all realistic goals for parents Parents who try to meet these basic “level six” needs help their children go on to acquire the need to develop and pursue personal goals.

Pursuing Personal Goals (Level Seven) When our children attain the need to develop and pursue their own meaningful goals, they are on their way to independence We all reach this stage at different times in our lives — if we reach it at all

Pursuing Personal Goals (Level Seven) Some people never do Unfortunately, it’s often a daily effort just to satisfy more basic levels of need

Level-Seven Reality Check — Needs to Develop and Pursue Personal Goals Parents who have helped their children reach the seventh level — independence — have good reason to be proud