CONFLICT MANAGEMENT: UTILIZING CONFLICT STYLES STRATEGICALLY PRESENTED BY MARY CHAVEZ RUDOLPH & LISA NEALE – OMBUDS OFFICE July 26, 2012

Today’s Agenda  Introduction/Ombuds Office  Conflict Management Skills  Conflict is Inevitable  Personal / Professional  Process and/or Content  Conflict Styles –use in managing conflict  Conflict Scenarios – what would you do?  Summary: Conflict Management Skills

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Conflict Management…  Word Association with “conflict”  In what areas in your life do you encounter conflict?

Steps in Managing Conflict  Think of a conflict you’ve had recently … -use the handout provided as we progress through the slides

Step 1: Managing Emotion How did you feel in your last conflict? Mad, sad, confused, fearful?  What strategies do you use to manage your emotions?

Step 2: Analyzing the Conflict This may be difficult to do until you control emotion. Asking yourself questions helps control emotion.  Content / Process / Relationship  What are your goals?  Identify your options

Content / Process / Relationship Jot down if you think your issue is primarily a content issue, a process issue, or both. Identify what is process and what is content.  Content: “What” are having conflict about?  Process: “How” are you treating each other when you discuss the issue? Are you communicating at all?  Relationship

Goal / Intent / Motivation Jot down your goals for this situation. Think: LONG TERM!  What is the ideal outcome of this situation?

Identifying your Options: Conflict Styles Jot down what you did of these options  This could be your preferred conflict style.  In your example conflict,  What did you do? Give in? Try to win? Seek a compromise? Try and understand the other person’s perspective? Ignore or side-step issue?

Assessing Your Conflict Style  Most people have one or two preferred styles  Helpful to know that you have other options and the option you choose should be dependent on the results you want to achieve  There is no right or wrong style

Concern Competing Collaborating for Self (win/lose) (win/win) Compromising (win/win) (lose/lose) Avoiding Accommodating (lose/lose) (win/lose) Concern for Others

AVOIDING  How do people act when using this style?  Diplomatically side-step the issue, ignore, hide, procrastinate, deny there is a problem  When would you use this style?  When it isn’t important to you, not worth it to engage  When wouldn’t you use this style?  When the conflict continues, no one’s needs are being met

ACCOMMODATING  What behaviors are present with this style?  Smiling, listening, giving in, obeying, apologizing  When would you use this style?  It’s not that important to you, not necessary to understand other person’s interests  When wouldn’t you use this style?  A fast decision is needed, not a lot of commitment involved in the process

COMPETING  How do people act when using this style?  Assert their position, debate, shout, interrupt, do not give in, possible physical contact/violence  When would you use this style?  Emergencies, when you are being taken advantage of/manipulated, when you really want to win  When wouldn’t you use this style?  When the relationship takes precedence over your winning

COLLABORATING  How do people act when using this style?  Listen, identify interests, explore issue in depth, find ways to improve relationship  When would you use this style?  Long-term relationships, you have the time to commit to the process, you want a lot of buy-in, involvement  When wouldn’t you use this style?  Time factor, leadership is more important, situation does not require this process

COMPROMISING  How do people act when using this style?  Make concessions, seek to split the difference, find happy medium  When would you use this style?  When you don’t have the time and energy, need for a fast solution, relationship isn’t that important  When wouldn’t you use this style?  When determining interests to enhance the relationship is more important than a quick solution

When to use which style…  How much time to do you have (i.e., does action need to be taken immediately?)  What have you already tried?  How important is the issue to you?  Is there a relationship?  Is there a possibility you are wrong?  Has this ever happened before?  Is there a difference in power?

 Manage Emotion / Think  Determine your Goals  Decide on a Strategy (conflict style)  Separate Positions from Interests  Consider Timing and Setting  Ask Open-Ended Questions  Benefit of the Doubt  Active Listening Reflect Emotion  “I“ Statements Summary: Skills for Managing Conflict

Positions and Interests  Positions are specific proposals or solutions that a party suggests to meet his/her interests or needs. A position is usually only one solution to a given problem. In many cases, that solution is satisfactory only to the person suggesting it. Positions are often rigid and offer limited flexibility.

Positions and Interests, cont.  Interests are needs that a party wants to have satisfied. The most powerful interests are basic human needs:  security  economic well-being  a sense of belonging  recognition  control over one's life  respect

Scenario:  A co-worker recently stopped friendly conversations with you. You are unsure why. Yesterday, this co-worker came into your office, slammed the door shut behind her, and began screaming at you for not completing an important report. After a few minutes of screaming, she left your office.  What conflict styles have you used? What other options do you have at this point?

Concern Competing Collaborating for Self (win/lose) (win/win) Compromising (win/win) (lose/lose) Avoiding Accommodating (lose/lose) (win/lose) Concern for Others

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