Hosted by the Thompson School District Gifted and Talented Department

* Introductions * If you feel comfortable… * Can you tells us briefly about your child(ren)? * What would you like to gain from this parent series? * Who am I? * Michelle Stout – Gifted & Talented Parent Liaison *

This parent series is for parents that often experience: * Disapproval from family, friends or schools on parenting choices and advocacy efforts. * Frustration seeking resources that actually apply to their children. * Academic struggles with their children which traditional strategies fail to address. * Behavioral challenges and/or less than favorable choice-making from their children. * Social and emotional challenges with their children.

* “You are a terrible parent, let me fix you.” * I’m the teacher, you’re the student. * A forum for venting or commenting on schools, teachers, etc.

* This parent series’ sole purpose is to create a safe place for 2e parents to share common experiences that are unique to our families. * Videos and materials are sourced from

Week 2: Your Child Has Gifts Play to your child’s strengths; don’t focus on the weakness. Week 3: Your Child Can Succeed Your child has what it takes to learn how to cope with this challenging world. Week 4: Developing a Growth Mindset You Can’t Do It. Only They Can.

Week 5: Giving Children Choices Wise parents gain control they need by giving away the control they don’t need. Week 6: Loving Our Kids for Who They Are …not the grades they get.

“Some Parents Choose to……” Locking in Love and Logic nuts and bolts

* When parenting children, parents often give consequences to their children. After all, we adults have consequences for our choices, decisions and actions; children should have them, too. * Right?

Behavior: Tyler is late for work again; the boss has made it very clear that she is not happy with him. Consequence: The boss noted pattern of tardiness on Tyler’s employee review. His job security may be at stake.

Consequence: It’s midnight, and Tom is still finishing the report. He missed that the numbers Barbara gave him on Thursday didn’t have the end of January’s sales numbers included in the report. He is going to have Barbara run new reports in the morning, redo the monthly report, and he may miss his daughter’s soccer game to make the deadline. Bad Judgment: Tom’s monthly sales reports are due Monday, Feb. 2. Half of the report was already done Thursday, and he can knock out the rest over the weekend. It’s a busy weekend with his son’s basketball team. And now…”Are you ready for some football?!”. The Patriots vs. the Seahawks. Seahawks have got to win this one! Wow, what a game! Whoops! The report.

Bad Choice: The ladies were out for girls’ night. After a couple of margaritas, Mary’s phone came out. Snap a shot, post to Facebook. Snap another shot, post to Facebook. Mary tagged everyone in the photos. Consequence: Sarah was furious that Mary posted some of those last pictures! She didn’t realize that Sarah was “friends” with her kids on Facebook. Sarah didn’t think the photos and comments were appropriate for her children to view, and told Mary as much in her scathing text.

Behavior: Your child is late for class, again. Consequence: His teacher lets him have it in front of the class, then calls home to tell you. You let him have it after school; Dad goes for round 3 after dinner. Video games gone for a week!

Bad Judgment: Your child started her book report 2 weeks ago, but forgot that it was due TOMORROW. After 30 minutes of eye rolling and excuses, 30 minutes of “Why did you leave it to the last minute!”, and an additional 30 minutes of tears, stomping and door slamming, she headed upstairs and finally finished the book report at 10:30pm. Consequence: Julie earned a C- on her report, even though she knew that book inside and out, and felt she should have earned an A.

Bad Choice: Your daughter had a fight with her girlfriend, and decided to get back at her friend by telling all about it on Intsagram, including a not so flattering picture of her friend. In the morning, she felt bad about posting those comments and logged in to remove the post. She quickly realized the post had 89 views and nearly as many comments, many pretty nasty. Consequence: After a phone call from the girl’s mother, informing you of the post, she received a stern lecture from you on friendship, netiquette, and her character, then lost all internet privileges for 2 weeks. The icing on the cake – The girl’s mother reported your daughter to their middle school, where she received another lecture from the principal on cyber bullying and internet safety.

* Love and Logic has been used by parents and teachers for over 30 years. The organization is located in Morrison, CO. Dr. Jim Fay is a long time Colorado educator, followed by his son, Dr. Charles Fay, who was largely raised on Love and Logic.

* Learning at Affordable Prices The price a child pays today to learn about friendships, school, learning, commitment, decision making and responsibility is the cheapest it will ever be. Tomorrow’s is always higher. The challenge of parenting is to love kids enough to allow them to fail – to stand back, however painful it may be, and let learning opportunities build our children. * To Protect Them Is Not to Love Them

* I Am What I Think You Think I Am Many parents don’t give their children a chance to build a positive self-concept; instead they concentrate on their children’s weaknesses. The focus centers on what the child is doing poorly, or what he can’t do. The result is a constant eroding of their child’s self-concept. * The Three-Legged Table of Self-Concept Leg One: I Am Loved by the “Magical People” in my Life Leg Two: I Have the Skills I Need to Make It Leg Three: I Am Capable of Taking Control of My Life

* Why did I title this first session…

* In this video, the little boy was facing a situation of his making that he didn’t know how to solve. His dad asked for permission to offer suggestions. The dad didn’t tell the boy what he had to do, nor did he solve the problem for the boy. * He proceeded by saying, “Some kids choose to….”.

* When fellow parents, teachers, or even our own parents, comment on our child’s behaviors and academics, or tell you how they would handle the situation, it’s easy to feel a little defensive.

* Each 2e child presents a completely unique parenting experience, and by default, yields very different parenting choices than with any other child. This parent series, particularly as it relates to parenting our 2e children, is about sharing how some parents choose to… * I encourage sharing some of the successful parenting choices and strategies you’ve made, and maybe even a few that flopped. We are here to learn from and with each other, with a little help from the Doctors Fay.

* How will all of this apply to my family?

Here comes the homework * Create a list of things you would like to address. * Be realistic. * Pick an “easy” one. Your workbook. Feel free to experiment.