Chapter 20: The Fourth Commandment INTRODUCTION TO CATHOLICISM

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) ANTICIPATORY SET Free write for a few minutes about what most surprises you about Sirach 3:1-16.

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) BASIC QUESTION What does the Fourth Commandment require?   KEY IDEAS The Fourth Commandment requires honor and obedience to parents and all legitimate authority.

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) FOCUS QUESTIONS What is the meaning of Mark Twain’s quip about teenagers (p. 452)? They often think they are wiser than their parents. The reality is typically very different, but teenagers do not appreciate this until they become adults. What does a person owe his or her parents regardless of the successes or failures the parents have achieved? They are owed respect. How does a person honor his or her parents? This is done by courtesy, helping with activities and chores, making them proud, giving prayers and love, and caring in illness and old age.

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) FOCUS QUESTIONS Why is it appropriate that the first Commandment not pertaining directly to God has to do with honoring parents? God has given mothers and fathers great responsibility. Why do parents have the right to be obeyed and respected? They give good portions of their lives to rear, protect, and care for their children, making sure family life is stable and safe. Justice demands that the children return honor, obedience, love, just assistance, and respect.

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) FOCUS QUESTIONS To whom is the Fourth Commandment addressed? The Fourth Commandment is addressed expressly to children with respect to their relationships with their fathers and mothers. Who else should children honor? Children should honor their elders, ancestors, teachers, employers, and political leaders.

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) GUIDED EXERCISE   Think/Pair/Share using the following question: How would you relate the duties described in the Catechism, no. 2199, to the Fourth Commandment?

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) FOCUS QUESTIONS How has the family changed significantly in recent decades? The extended family has become far less involved in developed countries. Do people still have duties toward extended family members, including grandparents, aunts, uncles, and the like? Yes, especially elderly or disabled members.

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) FOCUS QUESTION Why is it best, if it is possible, for family members who need special care to receive it at home? In-home care gives the family member in need the security and loving care only a home can provide. It also gives the family members who provide this care the opportunity to be more Christ-like through selfless service.

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) FOCUS QUESTIONS Why is it wise for children to obey their parents? Parents have more experience and thus understand life better, and children who obey their parents can, therefore, benefit from people with greater experience of life. Why does a healthy family add to the health of society? The family is the basic unit of society, and thus the healthier the family, the healthier the society.

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) FOCUS QUESTIONS What is unique about the Fourth Commandment? It is the only one with a promise. What does obedience to the Fourth Commandment promise, and what does that promise mean? The Fourth Commandment promises that a person who honors his or her parents will live a long life in the land that God gives. This is a promise of peace and prosperity. How is the command to honor a person’s parents a matter of justice? Human life, a priceless gift, comes from his or her parents’ cooperation with God, and no matter how good he or she is to them, he or she can never repay them for their gift of life and upbringing.

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) GRAPHIC ORGANIZER Complete the following table to analyze the Book of Sirach on the Fourth Commandment.

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456)

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) FOCUS QUESTIONS What is the Holy Family? It is the family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Did the Holy Family live a truly human life? Yes; they lived a normal life, exemplified by Christ’s hidden years. How did Christ live the Fourth Commandment? He was obedient to the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph.

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) FOCUS QUESTIONS How were the relations among the three members of the Holy Family? Christ loved, honored, and obeyed his Mother and foster father. St. Joseph loved, protected, and provided for his Son and wife. The Blessed Virgin Mary loved her Son and husband. What is the significance of the Holy Family for all families and communities? The Holy Family is the exemplar for every family and all persons living in community.

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT   Study Questions 1-5, 15 (p. 466) Practical Exercises 1, 5-6 (p. 467) Workbook Questions 1-11 Read the sidebar “Two Parents are Better Than One” through “Conclusion” (pp. 457-464)

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) CLOSURE Write a paragraph summarizing what it means to honor your parents and to be cared for properly by them.

1. The Fourth Commandment (pp. 452-456) ALTERNATIVE ASSESSMENT Work with a partner to come up with possible explanations for this text by the Fathers of the Second Vatican Council: “The well-being of the individual person and of both human and Christian society is intimately linked with the healthy condition of that community produced by marriage and family” (GS 47).

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) ANTICIPATORY SET Incorporate the examination of conscience based on the Fourth Commandment (p. 462) into the Opening Prayer.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) BASIC QUESTIONS What are the reciprocal obligations of parents and children? What are the reciprocal obligations of civil authorities and citizens, and society and the individual?   KEY IDEAS Under the Fourth Commandment, parents and children have reciprocal obligations. Civil authorities and citizens also have reciprocal obligations, as do society and the individual.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) FOCUS QUESTION What is the common result of separation and divorce? Separation and divorce frequently damage the emotional, psychological, and spiritual health of the children and can result in a life-long insecurity, anxiety, bitterness, and resentment toward parents, authority figures, including God.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) FOCUS QUESTIONS How do children normally experience God’s love? They experience it through the faithful love, commitment, and dedication of their parents for each other and for them. Is it possible to raise one’s children well in the face of separation, divorce, or the death of a parent? Yes; if a united front is maintained in fidelity to the Church and the Sacraments, God’s grace can make it possible.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) FOCUS QUESTIONS Why did God institute the family? It is for the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of children. How do those two ends of marriage relate to salvation? Spouses are dedicated to the salvation of each other, and parents have children and educate them in the hope that they, too, will attain Heaven.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) FOCUS QUESTIONS What is one of the key lessons children learn in a Christian home? Children learn prayer and self-sacrifice. What is the general aim of the Fourth Commandment? It is to protect the relationships among family members.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) FOCUS QUESTIONS Why is parenting a humbling experience? Each parent must sacrifice his or her own desires and plans in favor of the good of children; in addition, parents and children fall short of their ideals. Why is perfect parenting impossible? Parents suffer the effects of Original Sin, and so do their children.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) FOCUS QUESTIONS Generally, who are the head and the heart of the family? Generally, the father is the head of the family and the wife is the heart. Why do children deserve their parents’ respect? They are children of God.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) GUIDED EXERCISE Work with a partner to make a list of bullet points articulating the obligations of parents toward their children.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) FOCUS QUESTIONS Why does God require that children show love, respect, gratitude, and just obedience to their parents? Their parents gave them life and made personal sacrifices for them. What are the limits to a child’s obedience? Children should obey the reasonable directions of parents, teachers, and all to whom parents entrust them. A child, however, should disobey an order that he or she judges in certain conscience (cf. p. 392) to be morally wrong. Does an obligation to honor parents end when the children grow up and leave home? No; children have the obligation to listen to and seriously consider the advice of parents and to care for their parents when they are in need.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) GUIDED EXERCISE Work with a partner to articulate specific ways that children can honor their parents.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) FOCUS QUESTIONS Why should a person not attend Gina’s party? Gina’s party is an occasion of sin that could lead to immoral conduct. How is discouraging friends from attending Gina’s party an example of true friendship? The party could harm the souls of a person’s friends and endanger their salvation, and a true friend would not want that to happen. Why does “turning in” Gina come under the Fourth Commandment? This action comes under the obligation to act for the good of friends and the community.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) FOCUS QUESTIONS How is authority a requirement of human nature? Human nature requires every person to live in a society, and authority is necessary for both the preservation and advancement of the common good. Do individuals have duties toward society? Yes.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) FOCUS QUESTIONS What is the common good? The common good is the sum total of social conditions that allows people either as individuals or groups to reach their potential more fully and easily. What does the common good require from citizens? The common good requires citizens to submit to legitimate authority and to serve others by paying taxes, voting, carrying out military duties, etc.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) FOCUS QUESTIONS What should human laws reflect? Human law should reflect God’s law. Extension: There is a natural law, which ought to be the basis of all civil laws. Civil laws that violate God’s law, such as those permitting slavery or abortion, are immoral. What is a citizen’s duty with respect to laws contrary to the common good? A citizen must not accept or obey laws contrary to the common good and must work to change them.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) GUIDED EXERCISE   Discuss on the following question: Based on the various obligations a society has to its members, what obligations do you think our society does a good job providing, and which do you think it does a poor job providing?

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) FOCUS QUESTIONS Why should society promote the family? Promoting the family promotes its own well-being. According to the Catechism, no. 2212, how are all human relationships familial? A person’s brothers and sisters are the children of his or her parents; cousins are the descendants of his or her ancestors; fellow citizens are the children of his or her country; the baptized are children of our Mother, the Church, and adopted children of God the Father; and every human person is a son or daughter of God the Father.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT   Study Questions 6-14, 16-19 (p. 466) Practical Exercises 2-4, 7 (p. 467) Workbook Questions 12-31

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) CLOSURE Write a paragraph summarizing the reciprocal obligations of parents and children and society and the individual.

2. Reciprocal Relationships in the Fourth Commandment (pp. 457-464) ALTERNATIVE ASSESSMENT Free write for a few minutes reflecting on Practical Exercise 2’s question about the relationship between material prosperity and family life.

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